to get DD a white poppy to wear at a remembrance service?

[GallumDrawnAndQuartered]

She is 14 and has been selected by the school to represent her house at their service.

DD is vehemently pacifist and anti-war.

Rather than her get in trouble for refusing to go (which is what she is planning on doing) would it be unreasonable for her to go but to wear a white poppy instead of a red one?

[ANTagony]

A white poppy may be intended to symbolise things as you say but its association will always be too close to a white feather which was an insult.

[canyou]

2shoes I have asked that also, online they do not say but I know that in N.Z it was linked to anti nuclear lobby group

[Appletrees]

Quite frankly if she wears a white poppy therest of the time at school, and a red one at the service, it looks like a significant recognition that on that day one DOES respect the dead, even if one's feelings about war are ambivalent.

Although I have to say, if you imagine that everyone who wears a red poppy supports war you are much mistaken. Nobody loves war. Everybody hates war. \if she doesn't think fighting is ever necessary she should stay away.

[2shoes]

canyou I googled it, but can't find the answer,

[GallumDrawnAndQuartered]

why Gigangore? why is it disrespectful? (genuinely interested)

Think the money from white poppy sales goes to peace pledge union. i don't know much about them. just thought it may be an option.

[3littlefrogs]

I look after lots of elderly people. This time of year is very hard for them. I make a point of thanking them for what they did, and acknowledging the sacrifices they and their loved ones made. Wearing the red poppy is, to me, a way of doing that without the words.

They wear their poppies with pride and sadness, and I don't think for a minute that any of them glorify or support war.

I just don't see the point of the white poppy. Sorry.

[2shoes]

so ut doesn't go to help veterans?

[GallumDrawnAndQuartered]

peace pledge union

[Appletrees]

I don't like white poppies. They're so self righteous.

[GiganGORE]

because it is a service of rememberance not political statement.

[Kaloki]

It's disrespectful because it is a political thing.

Say you were invited to a funeral and they asked that you wore a red rose, would you wear a white one? If so why? The only reason I can thing of going against what is normally used is to make a point that you don't agree. Which is inappropriate.

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Sorry, I think the white poppy idea is horrid- you either care about and support the men and women who died during the wars (and who are sadly continuing to do so) or you don't. If you don't, stay away from the memorial service and wear no poppy. If there is no way your dd can be excused from this service, maybe as a mark of respect she could wear no poppy, keep her views to herself at the service, then spend some time exploring other ways of promoting peace.

Sorry, but I am a supporter of the poppy, and today's troops, despite being anti-war myself. It is Governments who cause wars, not soldiers.

[2shoes]

i read that op, if you notice they don't advertise where the money goes.
so it obviously doesn't go to the veterans.

[canyou]

No 2shoes to the best of my and DP it does not go to the veterans,

[GallumDrawnAndQuartered]

Thanks for your views - i'll get her to read them and mke up her own mind.

[nancydrewrocked]

The poppy is worn as a mark of respect to those who gave their lives - it is neither celebratory or supportive of war.

If your DD feels so strongly about the issue then she shouldn't be attending a rememberance service anyway - the poppy is only illustrative of the rememberance itself. At 14 she is of course is old enough to hold her own opinions. Equally she is old enough to stand up for her opinions and accept the consequences of them.

[stubbornhubby]

she is right, and she shouldn't go.

the remembrance service is not an appropriate place to make a political protest. If she doesn't approve of the service she should stay away from it, as is her right.

[Appletrees]

She can stay away and view herself as a conscientious objector. They were brave people.

[earwicga]

There is nothing disrepectful about wearing a white poppy. The idea has been around since 1926 and the poppies available since 1933 when the Co-operative Women's Guild made them.

'The White Poppy symbolises the belief that there are better ways to resolve conflicts than killing strangers. Our work, primarily educational, draws attention to many of our social values and habits which make continuing violence a likely outcome.
From economic reliance on arms sales (Britain is the world's second largest arms exporter) to maintaining manifestly useless nuclear weapons Britain contributes significantly to international instability. The outcome of the recent military adventures highlights their ineffectiveness in today's complex world.
Now 90 years after the end of the ?war to end all wars? we still have a long way to go to put an end to a social institution, which in the last decade alone killed over 10 million children.'
www.whitepoppy.org.uk/

[2shoes]

I can never understand why people want to make remembrance day all about them in this way.
surely it is about remembering the fallen and supporting the injured, not about making some silly statement and insulting people who have given so much.

[Heracles]

Get her to wear a purple poppy, they're great and don't indicate a loss of perspective at all.

I want a poppy to indicate my support for the heroin trade but have yet to find one that makes this clear.

[Appletrees]

So by wearing one you're saying other people don't believe there are better ways to resolve conflicts. That's self righteous in the extreme.

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

If she can't get out of it, I think she should wear whatever poppy she feels is appropriate, or no poppy at all. I think the white poppy is a powerful message and there FWIW I used to wear one all year round, but especially around remembrance day.

It is not disrespectful, it is a message of remembrance (hence the poppy shape) and sorrow at the destruction that war brings to people's lives. WWI was a massive waste of life more than anything, something that the women who made the original white poppies in the 1920s obviously knew from tragic personal experience.

While I have huge respect and admiration for the troops who serve and have served in the armed forces, I have very little respect for the warmongering governments who constantly put young men and women in harm's way often on the slimmest of pretexts. I feel that the red poppy is used as a fig leaf (sorry, too many plants but YSWIM) by those who think that conflict and militarism should never be questioned. It is too easy for people with other viewpoints to be told to STFU because it's "disrespectful", but the fact is - it isn't.

And TBH if you live your life tiptoeing round issues for fear that someone, somewhere will find it disrespectful based on wrong assumptions, you will never be able to make a stand about anything.

[lottiejenkins]

support for the heroin trade??