to feel threatened that DH was looking at porn online?!

[sonnyday]

I know most men do do it and it's natural but I just really don't like the idea of him searching for and then getting turned on by another womans naked body, it would be unacceptable in real life right - and the woman is a real person... aibu?

You show me a man who hasn't looked at porn online and I'll show you a liar.

You are ALL deluding yourself if you think we don't.

And as for "I only want him to lust after me"....how naive are you? Seriously. That's just not how the male mind works. If you think that then you have a problem, not him. Cos he's just being normal.

I have a GF. She's gorgeous, beautiful, a real head turner. It doesn't mean I don't look at other women and think "Phwor!"

Window shopping is fine, as long as thats all it is.

With Niceguy here: it doesn't matter where he gets his appetite, as long as he's home for his tea.

Niceguy2 my DH hasn't looked at online porn, it wouldn't enter his mind to do so - that doesn't mean he doesn't like sex, it just means that he doesn't like porn, it does nothing for him. I could go onto his laptop now and I would know exactly what to expect to find in the history - it would be a mixture of car stuff, sci-fi and baking.
He was given some porn dvds about 10 years ago, he has never wantched them, I found them in a cupboard and he told me to watch them in case there was anything I thought he might like on there, there wasn't so I threw them away.
I'm not deluded and he's not a liar, I think I know him well enough after 28 years together.

Oh and you can also call me a liar for saying he doesn't masturbate too if you like.
His orgasms are 100% mine, which is the way he likes it.

Tell your H that you find it upsetting. And for what its worth I dont think hes getting turned on by the womens bodys as such, more the action

I must admit it would upset me if my husband was looking at porn online. I don't think all men look at porn online. However, I am sure all men have looked at porn at one point in time. I guess it depends on how often because I think this is the sort of thing that can become over the top and come between you.

Mali, of course not. I'm sure YOUR man would never do those things.

Have a look at my laptop. You'd find nothing on that either. Wow, i mustn't look at porn either.

I'd be pissed off about it, but not threatened.

I don't think 99.9% of guys enjoy a bit of porn. Sure lots do but DP isn't interested in it at all and I don't think he's weird for that - certainly not Mr .01% .

vile

would be horrified

Oh I know full well that my DH harbours lustful thoughts about Dr Cuddy from House and Nigella ( just as I do about the actor who plays Spartacus) because we talk fully and frankly about our respective sexualities .
Niceguy, stop trying to prove something that doesn't exist, my DH never deletes anything from his computers, he's got emails going back to 2004 FFS! He doesn't like porn - end of story, he has no moralistic outrage towards it , he simply doesn't like it and doesn't get turned on by it, he's more turned on by a ferrari with it's bonnet open than some random plastic woman with her legs open.

You need to broaden your horizons a little if you think that everyone is the same, people can have particular fetishes you know.

Eric I think the issue is someone actually getting off over another woman's body rather than finding someone objectively attractive.

OP - I'd have a problem too if my DP watched porn, I just don't like it.

My horizon's are actually pretty broad. I'm quite sanguine about the situation. You are the one who is desperately trying to convince me otherwise.

LeQ - my DH wouldn't sit wanking to porn if we hadn't had sex for a month, it's not who he is, I've said on here before that we had problems after his vasectomy because he doesn't masturbate, we had great fun trying to get his sperm samples (not ) because he can't get sexual release any other way than with me.
The overwhelming majority of men may well enjoy looking at porn, mine just isn't one of them.
He would much rather be having great sex with me than watching other people have (faked and unpleasurable) sex on a screen.

Sex doesn't have to be all about (male) orgasms either.

I'm not desperately trying to do anything, I just don't like being told by some random on the internet that I'm deluded, that's all.

My DH is a grown up, if he wanted to view some porn then he would and he would tell me about it because that's the kind of marriage we have, an honest one.

But Mal, I thought your dh was a porn fiend? Isn't his nickname Porn Porny Porn?

Silly me, of course it is - how could I forget?
He never goes anywhere without "Japanese anal sluts 3" on his Iphone.

Weapons of Ass Destruction 3 is my favourite.

got to admit, coming from the same angle as LeQueen, male friends etc etc.....I also believe that a very high proportion of men DO look at & enjoy porn & we'd be kidding ourselves if we thought otherwise, its just some aren't very honest about it to their partners ,,

personally I'd have a bigger problem with the dishonesty, than the actual porn, if DH had his own computer I wouldn't give a hoot, but as he uses mine, & so does DD its out of bounds

Thinking about it, the ONLY boyfriend I have ever had, who professed not to like & have a problem with porn, degrading etc etc...I later found out had a penchant for knocking shops

We had a porn cinema up the end of our road when I lived north of the river. The Best Film Ever was: The Hottest Bit of Crumpet in Denmark. Still use it for charades.

Hi, OP here.... We haven't had sex since I conceived and I'm now 8 months pregnant, he doesn't want to have sex with me as he feels a bit strange about it, although he is quite happy to watch another women having sex and get himself off on it,

Then I would say you have a problem OP and need to seriously talk about it.

I don't get this 'men need porn', it's fine because they compartmentalise it wtf? I think thats insulting to men. Of course it's so immersed in our culture I would think practically all men in this country will have seen or used porn, but need it? Really? If they don't have a wank watching a women have sex who is paid for it, what exactly happens? Do men die if they don't get this?
Also if a man said he was just popping round a neighbours to watch them fucking so he could get off on it would that be ok? But it's different because its on a screen