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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to feel totally bemused and think 'you smug twatters'

164 replies

hobbgoblin · 02/11/2010 23:30

of the family who, when given the homework as set out below, came back to school after half term with properly packaged; foil wrapped; paper sleeved; fully printed complete with allergies and ingredients; home bloody made frikkin chocolate bars for the whole class?

This was the homework:

Design a chocolate bar wrapper, draw its net, colour it in and stuff.

They took 'stuff' waaaaaaaaaaaaay too far imho.

OP posts:

YunoNotToReturnToALitFirework · 03/11/2010 07:15

Am baffled by the bile.

Is this an English 'people who try hard are knobbers' thing?

I like people who give a shit.

RunawayRocket · 03/11/2010 07:19

So some parents went to great lengths to help their child with a homework project, and most likely fill up a half term with some thing to do, and the best you can do it call them names nice!!!
I don't think it is the chocolate makers that are twattish TBH

gorionSPARKLERS · 03/11/2010 07:22

Why are they "over competitive" parents becaus they made their own choccies for the class during the breake? It coul very well be that the parents thought it would keep their Dc occupied to do it with the fantastic weather we had this half term?
The fact that the parent helped making the chocolates does not mean they had any imput on the actual homework which was designing a chocolate wrapper.

Desclaimer : it was not me but could very well have been.

singarainbow · 03/11/2010 07:33

I don't get this sort of parental involvement. It's the kids homework, let them plan it, create it and more importantly let them know its ok for it not to be "perfect", because that's how they learn.

By all means be on hand to support them, but just that. Provide them with the resources, time and space, and let them get on with it.

Chil1234 · 03/11/2010 07:36

"Is this an English 'people who try hard are knobbers' thing?"

No... this is about one-upmanship and approval-seeking passed off as 'helping a child with its homework'.

Goblinchild · 03/11/2010 07:39

'Am baffled by the bile.

Is this an English 'people who try hard are knobbers' thing?

I like people who give a shit.'

Yuno, yuno you're not alone.
I've always enjoyed helping out with homework stuff, we enjoy doing things together.
Don't care what other parents think, it matters more that my child enjoys, understands and is imaginative about the homework.
The rest of you sound very insecure and cat's bum.

Goblinchild · 03/11/2010 07:45

Probably the same parents that judge me for being a lentil-weaving, non-make-up wearing individual with crap shoe choices.

NoahAndTheWhale · 03/11/2010 07:50

Helping with the homework is one thing but doing a different homework that wasn't asked for is rather over the top I feel

Goblinchild · 03/11/2010 07:50

That's the imagination bit.

PfftTheMildySpookyDragon · 03/11/2010 07:50

Runaway - there is a clear difference between parents who help with homework - encourage/draw the best out of them/give ideas, and those that do the homework for them.

The homework should be the child's own work. Not a chance for the parent to show off their excellent skills at chocolate making/housebuilding/design.

The teachers KNOW. If you effectively do your child's homework, your child will tell the teacher. They can't wait to get to school and start chatting about how mummy wouldn't let them touch the paintbrush, or how she said that she would do it.

We had homework to make a model house over half term. DS made his from a shoe box. I helped him - encouraged him to think of ideas, helped him cut tough materials. Then we took it in - there were multi storey masterpieces with lights and everything! Some of them looked like a child had not been allowed to breathe near them.

That is clearly wrong, and NOT about "trying hard"

singarainbow · 03/11/2010 07:58

I'm with you Pfft.

RunawayRocket · 03/11/2010 08:00

I think parents who "do" things with their children, even if it is helping with homework are a millions times better then those who don't give a toss, (and there seem to be plenty of them)

When ever something comes in to school (Christmas jars and so on) and it is clear it was more parent then child it does not win.

I think sadly we have become a nation where we lower everything to the lowest standed and not try to raise the bar at all.

Goblinchild · 03/11/2010 08:02

A house with lights and everything?

Y2, term one we do simple circuits and switches.

bubbleymummy · 03/11/2010 08:03

Yabu. What is the big deal if the child learned something? I think it's a great opportunity for children to see what is really involved in making the chocolate, designing and printing the wrapper etc. How sad that people in the UK are unable to praise someone's hard work and have to accuse them of oneupmanship and showing off instead. I'm very glad that my husband and I grew up in the US where competitiveness was praised and people were happy to recognise your achievements. I'm also very glad that we've decided to HE so that DS is not exposed to this bile simply because he makes an effort that exceeds the norm. Some of you just seem very childish.

gorionSPARKLERS · 03/11/2010 08:07

I wsh I had wtritten your post bubbleymummy!

piscesmoon · 03/11/2010 08:08

It all depends on how much the DC did. If he wanted to make chocolate bars and got excited about the whole project then I think it was fine. If the ideas and work came from them, while DC sat by and let them get on with it then it wasn't.
Supporting and encouraging is good-masterminding and doing the work themselves isn't. It isn't clear from OP which it was.
Some DCs do get carried away and do the extra-good for them.

southeastastra · 03/11/2010 08:08

i blame the US for this sort of competitiveness crap. don't people have to work?? no wonder graduates can't even tie shoelaces for themselves.

jeez (always wanted to do that)

singarainbow · 03/11/2010 08:10

Bubbleymummy, I don't think anyone has said that compettion is bad, and if a child wants to be competitive and be the best, then they should be encouraged to go for it.
I think most people have a problem with the parents getting too involved in the work, when it suddenly becomes less of the childs work and more of the parents.

singarainbow · 03/11/2010 08:11

sorry "competition"

PfftTheMildySpookyDragon · 03/11/2010 08:13

Goblinchild - there was a house, two storey, with proper windows and doors, and a puff of smoke coming from the chimney. When you pulled the smoke, a light came on in the house.

DS is in Year 1.

Bubbley - But you would be praising the work of the parent, not the child. Surely it would be more beneficial for the parent to take a step back? It seems that some parents cannot help but make it the best that they can make it, rather than sending in something that looks a littrle rough around the edges, because a child made it.

I think that no-one is criticising children that do well - but when I look at the houses, no child in year one cut a camper van out of wood, carved a model bicycle to sit on the back, or made a pulley and lever system to raise and lower a shade system! Children that have done well should of course be encouraged and congratulated, BUT there are parents who do all the work, and this is just discouraging for children who cannot produce the efforts of a 40 year old adult.

xstitchsparkler · 03/11/2010 08:23

YANBU and don't think it is anything to do with not liking people trying hard. It is the child who should be working hard as it is their homework. I feel there is a big difference between helping and supporting with homework and doing the whole thing for them.

RunawayRocket · 03/11/2010 08:24

As DS1 was always way ahead of his class due to the fact I somehow managed to give birth to a very bright child I would have been mortified if someone had suggested we were doing his homework/project.

He was always handing in work that could have been done by a parent/older child.
Thankfully his "in school" work was also to a very high slandered so his teachers knew we were not doing it for him.

However if he had been given the project the OP mentioned he would have wanted to do something along the lines of making a real chocolate bar, it is just the sort of thing he would like.

I admit some Alph mum wannabes are a pain, the ones that are all show for shows sake, and in the 11 years of school I have only met one of those.

FreudianSlimmery · 03/11/2010 08:26

OP it depends on whether the child did it themselves.

I agree that it's much better for parents to be involved rather than not giving a toss, but FGS it is the child's homework - it may be quite amusing hearing all these stories but IMO it's actually quite harmful if the parents aren't letting the child do the work. How are they going to learn if mummy won't let them touch the paintbrush?

SauerKraut · 03/11/2010 08:28

I think it's a great thing to do, as long as it's done in the right spirit. What annoys me is if it then raises the bar for the whole class, as has happened here. It's hard for the children whose parents don't, can't or won't help to such a high degree when their own work isn't valued as highly as that of the (over-)supported ones. It has even had consequences for marks which determine which stream they're put in.

cobbledtogether · 03/11/2010 08:32

It depends on whether they brought some for all the class - that's what used to happen with chocolate and sweets when I was at school. :)

YABU - you secretly wish you had your own chocolate factory too!

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