To park in parent and child spaces if there are no disabled ones free?

[immortalbeloved]

I know I know, I'm sorry for another P&C space thread

I'm really really not trying to start the whole debate up again, I know it's been done to death

Genuine question though, AIBU to park in one if there isn't a disabled space free? Normally I use a disbled space (I have a blue badge) or sometimes P&C space if I've got one or more of the children with me. But today I needed to go somewhere and didn't have any children with me, when I got there the only space free close enough for me was P&C so I used it.

But I was given several dirty looks by mums with toddlers and one was going to approach me to 'set me straight' but her friend stopped her

So was I really out of order? Or is it an ok thing to do?

kungfupannda you are officially my fave poster:o

when i have dd with me I have to used the rear ramp, so I need the safety of the extra space that is beside a disabled bay(or P&t BAY to park her whilst putting the ramp back up.

now although I understand the problems faced by parents, it is short term, unlike a disability which is a bit like a dog and for life.

love it Riv

I took my mum shopping yesterday and parked in a disabled space (in my unfashionably large car). There was a queue of people at a cashpoint, several of whom glowered at me as I got out of the car. One of them said "you're not disabled, why are you parking there?" I replied that, no I wasn't but that my mother was.....we had the blue badge, my mother can only walk about 20 yards and it was pretty obvious that she struggles, but this same person said "well, she's not in a wheelchair, so it can't be that bad".

I ignored her, but was really taken aback with that attitude. My mother has a blue badge, walks slowly and painfully with a stick and is obviously not in a good way yet this woman still felt the need to be incredibly rude. I hope that she is never in the position of needing to use these space.

OMG staying David Tennants girl - thruaglass darkly has really taken the biscuit. She can't be serious - can she ??

Frosty - did your mother get out of the car after you'd been at the cashpoint though? It could be that they just saw you parking in a disabled space, and you getting out of the car, and then you walking across to the cashpoint ie your mother not really needing the extra width or the close proximity to the shop.

No, I wasn't using the cashpoint, the space is next to the bank. I got out of the car to go round and help my mother and this woman said her piece as I did so. I hadn't even shut the door of the car - and I would have thought it was clear to see through the car to the passenger (and the badge was on the dash although to be fair she probably wouldn't have seen that).

And her particularly nice comment about my mother not being in a wheelchair, so it couldn't be that bad was after she had seen my mother haul herself out of the car, and walk round on to the pavement.....

frostyfingers - you shouldn't ever have to justify to anyone why you are using those spaces (UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ARE THRU A GLASS DARKLY who thinks because she has children she should be ignorant and park in spaces for less abled people)

Thank you, 2shoes! How long does that official status last? Is there a trophy?

I sniggered intermittantly all the way to work at the picture in my head of Riven arranging her picnic blanket in the Asda carpark and settling down for a leisurely morning's people-watching. In my imagination she is waving graciously to the frantically mouthing mums, perhaps offering them a biscuit if she is feeling particularly generous.

Ah, I see - sorry

The problem is that until you have need of, or are with someone who has need of a disabled space you just don't realise how important they are.

Until my mother became disabled through strokes I was blissfully unaware of how difficult it is to get around - now walking with her is terrifying as everyone is in such a rush, and small things (to an able bodied person) such as wonky paving slabs and pavement obstructions are a major obstruction. People are amazingly careless too - they rush past, brushing or knocking her, mostly without realising and are very impatient too.

I take my hat off to anyone who has to handle this on a regular basis - you all deserve so much more tolerance than this country seems to be able to give. OK a bit of a generalisation as some people are incredibly kind and patient but over the last 3 years I have realised how hard it is. Rant over, but I was so upset by yesterday's attitude, I wish I'd thought of a good put down but as ever was left gaping like a goldfish!

Mooos - she hasn't just taken the biscuit - she's taken the whole bloomin' packet!

TAGD - you can park elsewhere in the carpark and manage to get your children safely to the store - it is not impossible. Whereas someone disabled might well have to turn round and go home if they couldn't park in a disabled parking space - for example, if they couldn't walk far enough to walk from an ordinary space further away, or if they needed the space alongside the car to get a wheelchair out.

For them, it is a NEED, whereas for you, it is something that is a great help, but not a necessity. Raise your eyes from your own life, and try to see that other people have serious, long term problems that make walking across a carpark with 4 children pale into insignificance!

I doubt she can hear me over her sense of entitlement, though so may well be wasting my words.

I think you all need to learn to read-

THROUGHAGLASSDARKLY didn't say she parked in disabled spots.

She only said she thought the OP should not park in the pc places.

she still thinks having kids is on par with being disabled.

Just a thought- reading this thread and other similar ones in the past- it occurs to me that disabled people can do no wrong in the eyes of mumsnetters.

Surely they are people too though? Just as there are selfish, ignorant and rude people without disabilities, there is also the same chance that the person with the blue badge will be ignorant, rude and selfish too.

Some of you on here seem to be prime examples of this.

I agree - my FIL had Parkinsons for many years, and towards the end of his life was unable to walk. He refused a blue badge for a long time, as he struggled to accept the implications of his illness sadly. I think part of the problem is the apparent abuse of the badge - how many times have you seen someone pulling into a disabled space, then getting out of the car with no visible signs of disability, and then proceed to do a large shop. They may have a badge on their windscreen, but it may just as easily belong to someone else who does need it, but who isn't actually in the car with them (you know who you are, Ms Merc from the other day in the supermarket car park)

Whilst I don't condone what those people did to Frosty and her mother as it was patently inappropriate, it does mean that there are people who are willing to challenge the (apparent) misuse of the spaces.

Disabled people are under no obligation to be more cordial than anyone else. We don't base equality law on whether or not the minority in question is behaving in a way that makes us want to pat them on the head. We treat people equally even when they are being a nightmare.

Anyway, I wanted to come back to this point about their being 1.4% badge holders and 6% disabled spaces. Obviously many cars have more than one person in them, so the 1.4% of badge holders will make up more than 1.4 of all cars wanting to park. Unless posters are assuming that disabled people never mix with other people and just drive around in disabilty gangs causing problems for other people in car parks.

well sorry but I have been speaking as a care of a severely disabled child, who is not selfish, ignorant and rude or just very disabled.

Why would anyone object to a disabled person parking anywhere?[confuse]

At our new Tesco yesterday, I could only see P&C parking, right outside the door. I have a blue badge but managed to park close enough to walk in ordinary car park space.
Am assuming disabled are supposed to know to park in P&C, or just go home again if no regular spaces available close enough, but will take time to ask on next visit (maybe disabled parking is round the back, but most of us can';t wander round to check). Crazy.

Maisie, that will be people like my DH. I'm so sorry he has offended you by not making the pain he suffers when walking more obvious. I'll instruct him to spend all shopping trips moaning and crying around the shops to make his disability more obvious to random shoppers.

Have only read OP. I think YANBU. In my local supermarket there never seems to be enough disabled spaces (either that or people who shouldn't be in there are taking them all up, I'm not a disabled space user so haven't checked).

The thing I like about the P&C spaces is the extra width rather than how close it is to store. In a normal size space I sometimes have difficulty getting baby seat in/out if someone parks next to me. There have been times when I have come back to car and had to reverse out to be able to get the door open enough to get baby in, which leaves me with the problem of where do I put her while I reverse out. It would suit me just fine if some of these places had P&C wide spaces further back in the car park and left more room for disabed spaces closer to the store.

Perhaps they should be renamed 'ability spaces' because they enabled people with disabilities to shop.

But, a friend of mine does drive his Dad's car to work and parks with a disability badge all day....he's able bodied...

Not that that makes any difference here, just makes him a knob!!

No need MillyR, and no offence taken. If you read my post correctly I said "apparent", but if you don't accept that there may just be some abuse of the spaces then you're being naive.

But lots of disabilities that cause mobility issues are not apparent to an onlooker. So it is impossible for misuse of badges to be apparent to anyone simply by looking at the person who gets out of the car.