AIBU or is my mum?

[cheekster]

I am pg with DS2 and although we have told everyone we are expecting another DS we have told everyone that we wont be telling them what DS2 will be called until he is born.

Well, the other week I ordered the letters for DS's name to display in his nursery and they arrived at my mums address by mistake due to me having things delivered to my mums address in previous years - the catalogues fault - not mine.

Well my mum opened the package. She said that she initially thought that it was something she had ordered (even though it was clearly in my name - a different surname), but she then continued to open the individual boxes to find out the letters and ultimately find out the name of DS2.

I could maybe see it was a mistake opening the package, but once she opened it, it was obvious from what is written on the outside of the boxes "Large Wall Letter" what was inside, but yet she cut the film and opened them - and smugly told me what DS is going to be called.

I am so so cross, I told her how I felt and that I think she should repect our wishes, but she can see no wrong and her and my sister think IABU for being so cross and upset. They just keep saying "Its only a name!"

So am I being hormonal and unreasonable or is mum?

"oh perhaps get a perspsective so of you.she will have to changer her tune when she needs help babysiting,nursery drop off,school run etc"

Yeah right!! Like my MIL would do any of that. Not a chance.

well in that case,run her into the ground good for nothing that she is

as for the name, I think you sound borderline hysterical over nothing - mountain out of molehill etc. It's a name, not a state secret. But each to their own.

As for opening your post your Mum was clearly being very unreasonable doing that.

YANBU, that's nasty. Tell her she has upset you so much you've decided to go with your second choice.

WHat name does she hate? Get those letters sent to her house!

dear god dont sweat small stuff like this,when you have baby everyone and granny will stick neb in. you need to toughen up a bit

think this is hard?wait til it all starts about..
feeding
competitibve bith stories
returning to work or not
weaning
strangers opinion on your pram. Oh noo..its..a...Bugaboo!
people who define self by what sling/nappy they buy

practise your smile and platitudes,and just do as you wish

I think people get wound up because deep down it feels like tempting fate to name the baby before it's safely arrived. And that goes deep into the fears everyone has in the back of the mind while pregnant, hence the over reactions. But YANBU, for sure.

why do you need his name in big letter on his bedroom wall?

incase you forget it?

hold dem glistening torches high,make way to bad granny cabin.she is adream killer, the worst kind...she opens packages.the ole boot

Can you order a few extra random letters and get them sent to her home? Let her figure out what the new name is going to be.

(Perhaps K, U, C, O and 3 Fs)

Lol@ScottishMummy.

Shiny robot, would you put your own name on your wall in big letters? If not, why not? Is it because it is narcissistic (and horribly twee)? If that is the case, why is it any better doing it vicariously via your baby?

Why does it matter that Op wants the name on the wall or indeed what the name is?

Isn´t the point that Ops mum just carried on opening stuff that she knew she hadn´t ordered?

send granny some letters.D-R-E-A-M K-I-L-L-E-R.and of course feel yuor herat calcify about what she has done

alternatively

its no biggie

concentrate energies on what really matters

Well of course people´s opinion on what "no biggie" is is different.

For me this would be a "biggie".

What your mother is guilty of is curiosity which, as everyone knows, killed the cat. But if you deliberately leave people out of the picture they are more likely to bend the rules in order to find out what's going on. She's wrong on this occasion but I can see how it was very tempting to open the parcel...

How is not telling people a name until the baby is born "leaving them out of the picture"?

I had thought it was quite usual to do this?

Her behaviour sounds borderline control freaky to me. Tell her you are sending letters back and are not keen on that name now and give her a red herring - a completely different name - which she will then no doubt blag to everyone - then when babys born change back to original and she will have egg on her face big time - will teach her not to snoop in future.

ZACHARY

Saying you haven't got a name or can't decide on one is pretty usual. Saying you've got a name but you're not telling anyone creates curiosity and some will even see it as a challenge to find out. (There are people that hate surprises and go hunting around for the Christmas presents... same thing) The mother/grandmother in this story had the opportunity to satisfy that curiosity & find out the name - which she took, even though she probably shouldn't.

Yanbu I would be annoyed too. What is the name? You may as well tell us all now!

Would none of you be fucked off that someone deliberatly opened your post? Just to do something against your wishes?

I call bull shit.

So what if they did say we have a name & we´re not telling you?

Although, I think OP said that that isn´t the case.

I'm always amazed how grandparents don't see that by getting 'one up on you' they are actually damaging their relationship with you and their potential grandchildren. I would let her keep thinking that she knows the name and then choose a different one once the baby is born. It might make her think twice before doing something similar again.

yes I agree CORNFLOWER - very well put - it does alienate and the 'smugness' about her triumph as mentioned in OP could cause resentment. I would do as you said about name but if as OP has stated they really like the original name they chose then I would 'change' to a completely different name - tell Mommy dearest in a sort of resigned - 'well your determined to know so I might as well tell you' way - but knowing full well youre going to revert to original as soon as baby born [smug] - otherwise its to OPs detriment not to the nosey cow mothers.