to not want DD to read Twilight..

[LelloLorry]

DD2 has been asking for me to buy her the Twilight books for some weeks since her friends are reading them, but tbh, I really don't want her to read this.

I decided to see what it was about though when I searched here a few weeks ago and discovered fans of the series called themselves twilight sluts, I immediately thought 'Hell no!' and left it at that.

DD2s friends gave her a book today and I banned Twilight from the house .
Thinking now I might have overreacted, and really need to see exactly what this book is about.
Advice please?

Well first of all, if I objected to my child reading Twilight it would be on the grounds that it's anti-feminist twaddle, NOT because it's pornographic.

Not only is there no pornography in Twilight, there is no sex. Full stop.* Just a lot of sighing and mawkish nonsense about how they are, like, totally DESTINED for each other.

However I still wouldn't ban it, sometimes it's only by encountering this stuff that you realise what a lot of twats there are in the world.

In a word; yes you have over-reacted.

*Actually there is some fade-to-black type sex in Vol 4 but that book is a whooooole other ball game.

I agree that banning the book (unless for unarguable reasons, ie it contains graphic sex, is Meine Kempf etc) is pretty dubious.

However, I also agree with Solid Gold Brass's point. This article in the Guardian is good.

It seems Twilight is such a massive part of popculture right now, it would be akin to banning her reading Harry Potter or watching X Factor.

I wouldn't want my daughter to read them either, but just like my Mum tried to steer me in the right direction when I was 12, she'll probably read the trash under her duvet when you're asleep anyway.

I think the best course of action is to make sure she reads your recommendations as well as her classmates!

"I don't think it is tender or romantic to break into someone's house while they were asleep and watch them, particularly if you admit to having a desire to kill them that you are fighting to control."

Agreed. But like I say, sometimes it's only by encountering this kind of thing that you realise what a lot of twats there are in the world. And that some of them are controlling freaky co-dependent twats who will dress up their behaviour as WOMANCE of the highest order.

Far better to let her read it and then have a conversation about all the multiple ways in which Bella is a sap and Edward is a nut. Better yet, make her watch Buffy vs Edward on Youtube which sums the whole thing up in about 5 hilarious minutes.

I think you can be a resisting reader. I'd say reading Mills and Boon as an early teen did as much to turn me into a feminist as any amount of "right" reading.

My mum introduced the idea of racism to me via the medium of Enid Blyton and her frequently hateful depictions of black and gypsy children.

It's never too young to start deconstructing literature!

You are massively overreacting. Honestly. As someone pointed out earlier in the thread, at that age, we were all reading Lace (remember the Goldfish scene , Riders and Scruples (remember the cottaging scene ).

Twilight is lovely and innocent. Am actually a bit at the rest of you reading abusive relationships into it all. I never really thought about it like that. But then, I own all the books and have seen the films many times...

It is probably true that everyone has to read a whole lot of nonsense as a teenager in order to pick out the good stuff. I am going to look at the books listed in that article to find some books for DD when I have the time.

I wouldn't bother banning it, but I do think it is misogynistic and that Wozizzface is a controlling stalker and Bella gives up her whole life for him. I mean it's kind of entertaining, but you might want to point out the negative aspects to her so that she doesn't think those kind of things are okay in a relationship.

I agree with the read it yourself option...

Be warned though you might find yourself as one of the closet grown up Twilight fans

I must admit I totally missed the anti-feminist element- took it as total fantasy

besides which I was reading the sweet valley high books at about the same age, If I took that too literally I'd have a very twisted view of relationships

I did not ban my 12yo from reading misogynist crap. Personally, I would prefer her to be reading about graphic sex rather than having a stalking control freak portrayed as a desirable boyfriend, but thankfully I think dd is bright enough to see these things for herself.

or Jane Eyre....

(i love that book too)

While I dislike Twilight, I think fanfiction is a really worthwhile activity for teenagers to both read and write (not to suggest it isn't for adults too) and although I haven't read any Twilight fan fiction, fan fiction can be a really good way of teen girls rewriting stories to make them more positive and enjoyable for them.

I definitely wouldn't advocate banning either ( as it will do no good, she will just read the damn things in secret). I don't hold with banning anyone from reading anything. Just, as I say, suggest she reads some better vampire/paranormal stuff (and don't knock yourself out about whether there's any sex - there are worse things for teenagers to read about than a bit of soft-focus sex in a novel).

you sound very controlling, how do you think being so is going to benefit your DD? I've read them, can totally see the appeal to teenage girls even though Bella is a dreadful sap. Let your DD make her own mind up, if you can!

All about teenagers not having sex(not unthey are married anyway) . The 'sluts' thing is a bit of a misnomer.

I?m thinking how can you have a negative reaction to something you know nothing about. Your daughter will not see you as a reasonable or rational person if you make snap judgments with little knowledge. She will also stop asking or telling you things if she expects an automatic no to anything new or different. She will also roll her eyes and sneer at you as she leaps into the glorious teenage years

Don't want to sound po faced (even though I know I do) but I am talking from experience. If everyone else in her class is reading it she will get the books and films and magazine and all the other tacky merchandising from others.

When she has read it all she will also realise that its not anything to get excited about and look at you as an old out of touch person who knows nothing and cannot be relied on for any judgment on things modern and cool. So she therefore won?t ask you.

You don?t want that do you?
Keep the lines of communication open. At least try and appear rational. Tis only a book

I wouldn't ban her from reading it, either. My DD (13) has read the whole series (as have I, just to check what the whole Twilight thing was about) and think it's fairly harmless fiction. She can make her own mind up about whether Edward is misogynistic and all the other matters that other posters have put above.

It really is one of those things that when she says "everyone else has read it", everyone else really will have read it, so she sort of needs to read it so that she can join in.

Also, as methsdrinker said, it is only a book (albeit a light and fluffy one).

Try interest her in Warrior Cats instead.

Oh yes the warrior cats books are fantastic - but I am not sure she will have very much fun dissecting the plot with her friends afterwards! By the sounds of it this is more of a shared experience/common interest thing than any real interest in the book on its own merit.

I've read them - a bit yawntastic, but I probably would have loved them if I was 12!! I'd be delighted if my 12 year old was still excited by reading books, banning it is extreme, epecially if you haven't read it yourself.

Ps I used to sneakily read the "dirty bits" of the Thorn Birds

I think I had read most of Virginia Andrews' books by the time I was 12.

I read anything I could get my hands on. I remember scaring the pants off myself by reading James Heberts The Rats. I haven tread anything by him since. I was 11!
I worked my way through all of the M&B books I could. I hid my copy of Judy Blume Forever under my pillow for weeks because I was desparate to get to the bits about "coming" without my mum finding it!!!!

I don't think reading badly-written anti-feminist books is likely to make someone think anti-feminism is ok. I read masses of Sweet Valley Crap when I was in late primary school and though some is sort-of ok, much of it was very sexist. Reading badly-written sexism does put you off it like nothing else.