To not really want to buy my nieces and nephews christmas presents?

[BBQSteak]

maybe i'm just being a tight arse.

i have 2 siblings with 6 children between them.
we have 1 dc

we usually all spend about 25 pounds per child.
so to buy gifts for them costs us

150pounds

tbh, i would prefer to spend that on our dc.

as we only have a budget of 75pounds for our child.
which isn't alot

and to be totally honest, i suppose it's a bit to do with the fact the numbers are uneven.
it wouldn't be quite so bad if we had three children too.
but i don't know if thinking like that is totally out of order and i'm just being a tightwad and a bit of a bitch

its not that we can't afford it, we can just about, be to be toatlly honest i'd rather spend the money on us, our dc and being able to spend a bit more on the day with food/drink etc

I have 10 neices and nephews. There is no way on Earth I would spend £25 each on them! I think that is about how much I spend on my own (young) dds' main present!

We also have one only child nephew, and he gets no more spent on him than those with siblings.

£25 each!!! I would say £5-£10 is fine. It is the thought that counts and you can get something reasonable for the cheaper price. You can't beat books.

Agree that the kids don't care whether it costs £1 or £100.

DS1's godfather comes round every Christmas Eve with a selection box each for the 3 DC. The DC love it (especially as we usually let them eat some of the contents while we have a drink and a natter!).

DS2's godparents send a cheque for anything between £50 and £100 to share between them. The DC also love this.

They have presents in between these two extremes from their other godparents and aunts and uncles, usually vouchers or small gifts costing £5-£10, sometimes individually or sometimes joint presents eg a board game. They love these too!

It isn't the cost that counts, its the fact that they've been thought of.

I have more children than my brother and sister, and BIL and SIL are both single and childless. So they buy four presents to our one. I hope they don't resent it. Reduce your budget.

BBQ, I know where you are coming from totally, and actually I don't think it is tight. I also have been in this situation and am always generous and then really resent it after xmas. In my family I have set a budget for each family - so if there are more children then they get less per spend so to speak, have tried lots of other ways and simply find that with my dsis' buy joint presents and spend very little on that, db buys individual presents and is generous (high earner) and I feel I want to give him and his family a little more back. My dsis' both have ideas that they give me for dc (last year a wii for 3 of them and something else that dsis2 said wasn't expensive compared to the wii- no it wasn't but she hadn't added the VAT grr) Get knarky it they don't get what is asked for and last year the children were furious with their mother's suggestions and hated the presents that had been demanded.

I am a muppet aren't I?

This year they are all getting something from H & M as they are all beginning to appreciate clothes.

(BTW - never get asked if we would like to get joint present with them for other family members - apparently it is an exclusive club )

We don't buy for the grown ups just the kids - couldn't imagine not buying nephews presents though :(

I think the issue is with the way you budget rather than the fact that you have six children to buy for but only receive gifts for your one.

We spend about £5 on children's gifts for nieces and nephews but manage to pick up some fantastic things over the course of a year...2nd hand toy sales/NCT sales often have brand new toys (unwanted presents) for £2 or £3, the Book People do fantastic sets of books that can be divided up and used separately/to supplement another gift and places such as the Works sell brilliant craft supplies such as wiggly eyes for very little.

I enjoy choosing gifts for my nieces and nephews and working to a lower budget means a lot of time, effort and thought goes in to finding something. That's the way I'd like to keep it, £25 is a lot; it's what I've spent on DD1's birthday present, chosen because it's something she'll love, not because we're being stingy!

I started buying "family" presents when the number of kiddie presents blew my budget - e.g. a board game and some chocs - like to think I am bringing them together as a family and not just being tight lol.

But seriously I couldn't afford it, and it was either lots of v small shitty gifts for people I barely know, or one nice family present - no idea what the recipients think but I think it is nicer!

I don't buy for adults once they have children. Sounds cruel but I do say that I don't want presents either, just buy for the children. I do however buy for my sister who doesn't yet have children.

That way you can budget much cheaply for just the children involved (£10 per child) still get a good gift and not be seen as unfair.

Just tell people you have to budget effectively, surely that's just sensible?

I think it's really sad how people are worrying about expenditure in terms of being "tight". What happened to "affordable"?

I think 25 is a huge amount for nieces and nephews and don't think you are being tight at all. You should spend what you can afford. Is it possible that your child has been getting a bigger present because there is only one to buy for and this has knocked things out of proportion a bit?

One year my DB and SIl gave us tickets for Bristol Zoo. A family present that at the time cost them about £50. For 5 of us. And it was very much appreciated.

plu - the 'tightness' refers to the fact that the OP resents the inequality between the number of children in the family. Not the budget - hence all the suggestions to spend less rather than nothing at all.

You said in your OP you "can just about" afford to buy the dn's presents and implied you don't buy your own dd much as a result. Plus dn's birthdays too? If you're thinking 'Ouch!' rather than just 'Bah humbug!' then it's not affordable. Yes, it's better to give than receive but not if it makes you feel resentful.

YANBU to not want to spend £25 each but you are being mean not to want to buy anything at all.

Limit amounts to £10 each - boots do 3 for 2, which would help further.

It's just a shame that people seem to be feeling trapped by others' expectations, or - worse - what they perceive those expectations to be!

Pressure to spend can be very hard to face, and it's worst when it comes from all angles (from oneself and from others).

Like the zoo ticket idea, may steal!!

We're in the same situation. I do buy my nieces & nephews presents but limit it to £10 per child. I think £25 is quite a lot especially when it comes to £150 in total.

Personally, I'd still buy, but agree with the others that I would limit it to £15. I think at £15, you can still get something decent that you may struggle to get for £10 or less.

I'd look online for deals (esp DS games and the like), book people multipacks of books, 3 for " deals, see whether you can get any gifts on nectar points, check the offers in Argos / Toys R US on a regular basis and so on...

I spend £15 on my DDs (to give from Grandparents). This year I managed to get a Hannah Montana Tattoo thing, HSM Lipgloss box, Where's Wally Jigsaw Puzzle and multi-selection pack for £15. Looks generous but doesn't cost the earth! Half these things were half price in the sales. There's lots of good deals around at the moment, so buy early for the best ones.