to think that if your DP goes out for birthday drinks

[OnlyWantsOne]

...in London

and you stay at home, because your heavily pregnant, and have a 4 year old,

his ex shouldnt invite herself and turn up - without your DP knowing and just stay all evening?

Meeting his work colleagues that you havent met?

Im not cross with DP - I know his ex, we are on friendly terms, however she didnt tell me or him she was going out for drinks

He called me to tell me she had turned up, and wanted to know why / how

I explained I had told him I had spoken to her, earlier in the week - and mentioned that DP was going out in London on friday night, turns out she contacted a mutual friend of DP's and her's... found out details, and turned up.

Im cross, do I have the right to be?or am i just being silly pregnant fatty?

You are right to be cross, as is your DH. Not because she is an ex, but because she is gatecrashing an event she was not invited to. However, the night will be over soon and before his next birthday drinks you will have two lovely DCs, so it's all ok

ok, I kinda feel jealous she got to go out in London, get drunk and spend the evening with my DP - even though I was quite happy to be at home watching grand designs eating toasted banana sandwiches before I knew about her going

Wow thats uh. Weird actually.

Really really bunnyboilingly weird. WH odoes shit like that? WHat did she think was going to happen? DP must have been mortified.

*who does!

God how embarrassing! Feel sorry for her, she sounds a bit of a loser to go chasing across the country after a married man who obviously doesn't want her!!!
You should be very happy that your dh is so honest and mortified about it!
Congrats on your baby x

Oh and I would be cooling off any friendship you have with her

I'm with TheEvilDead2 -that's not an ex he's got there, that's a stalker. Contacting mutual friends? Brrr....

I find it really odd tbh.

If my ex did this I would be telling him straight not spending the evening with him.

Just feel sorry for the daft mare

That is so needy isn't it ?

Unless your partner gave her some encouragement ?

Well, I'd be annoyed as well but she's the one who ends up looking like a crazy stalker freak, she's made a total idiot out of herself!!

If it was me I'd be keeping my distance from her from now on, she sounds weird, who on earth goes on a night out in a different city (I assume you don't live in London) with an ex, and people she doesn't know, when she's not even been invited??!!

I was wondering that AF.

He would have had to tell you either way as you would have found out from
mutual friends.

Fwiw I would be livid with them both.

Not necessarily anything suspicious there - he did tell you and that does count for something.

Let it be a lesson for you though - this might be a friendship that you want to let go...

So you told her that he was going out?

Why??

why not ?

the strange thing is that she invited herself along

allegedly

OK, if they are all still so friendly, then why is it surprising that the ex invited herself along?

I see what you are saying diddl

I got the impression, however, that OP casually dropped her DH's b'day plans into another convo, and this woman decided to just turn up

which would be a bit weird, esp if OP had also mentioned she wouldn't be present

seems a bit fishy to me

Sounds like your DH is a good one - he phoned you up there and then. If he'd not and not mentioned it then you'd have got paranoid and wondered who'd invited her and why etc. Sounds like you two are good and she's a bit of a stalker. Relax and grab another toastie

Oh yes, odd-but maybe OPs husband wasn´t the reason for her going?

Have you let yourself go?

Your H is fine - he has been honest with you in a way he woulnd't if he was having IMpure Thoughts. It is, of course, possible that his XP has her eye on one of the other mutual friends or indeed wishes to renew friendship with them if she hasn't seen them for ages.
I would just chill out about this as it's no big deal.

Her and I were friends for many years, before DP and I were together, she is in a relationship with some one, (who she has admitted to me that she has cheated on - twice, with another friend, which makes me a bit about how happy she is)

She lives 1.45hr train commute from London - and went to the bar that DP and his male colleagues were drinking in - the mutual friend that her and DP share, was invited, but didnt go - the only person she knew, was DP.

He called me and asked how come she was there, asked did I know??

The reason she knew about it, other than mutual friend was she popped in to mine during last week for a cup of t and to collect some thing she was borrowing for her pupils, and asked what our plans were, for the weekend - after I had asked her what her plans were too.

She hasnt mentioned to me since, that she went to see him on Friday night, and DP says he said hi to her, more out of shock - and bye when she left.

She introduced herself to DP's work friends as his ex too... I feel a bit more the more I think about it.

HAHAHA @ letting myself go

no, not really, im 36 weeks PG but still in good working order

Give her a slap and put a bit of lippy on.

It is really weird behaviour, wriggling her way in like that. Doesn't read like anything to worry about on DP's behalf, but I would suggest she's not actually a friend if this is the sort of thing she'd do.

my keyboard is full of tea, thanks to hully

cheers for that