to struggle for ideas as to what to do at w/ends with the kids?

[spookerv1xen]

every weekend i am at a loss to what to do

and they end up being sooooooooooo boring :( we usually go in to town saturdays for a look round the shops and maybe a bit of lunch, then sundays we tend to do the food shop. which i HATE because I HATE supermarkets and esp at weekends when they are rammed. and i hate feeling like i am doing exactly the same everyone and their f**king dog are doing as well IYSWIM.

it sounds really horrible but the best weekends we have are when we haven't got the kids, ie if they are at grandparents (which is probably like once a month) i feel sooooo bad and selfish for admitting this. on the child free weekends me and DP usually go out drinking or for a meal sat night then stay in bed shagging all of sunday. or sometimes we'll stay at a hotel (nowt fancy just get a last minute deal off last minute.com or something.)

what do other people do? i really want to start making the most of my weekends. DC are 1.6 and 4.6

haha sorry i disappeared last night, was busy with miserable, tired, hyper DC's with dodgy body clocks from the clock change.

thanks for all the ideas, has given me food for thought. but also made me feel very very crap as i hardly ever do any of the stuff mentioned with my DCs :(

i do feel like a crap mum because as much as i love the DCs i don't much like doing kiddy stuff, ie soft play is my idea of hell and things like museums and stuff always strike me as twee and boring, and DP as well, thats really horrible of us isnt it :( i need to kick myself up the arse dont i.

growing up my mum and dad were members of the national trust and i loved going to all the different places, i have such lovely memories, that sort of thing would be OK, i would love to do something like that but i know DP would find even that twee.

do shopping on line, don't venture near shops with children ever if you can help it. Soft play also horrible imo. Instead do stuff you want to do that kids can join in with - National Trust is fab for kids, parks, swimming, cycling (baby seat and tag along), beach (depending where you are) even better in winter, woods are great at moment - lots of leaves etc to collect. Of if you want to do stuff at home - do cooking together, lego, puzzles etc. Nothing wrong with odd DVD/bit of CBeebies. Make most of it - they soon won't want to do stuff with you ! Also- if each of you wants a bit of 'me' time - agree in advance so one of you looks after kids and the other has 'time off'.

We avoid the shops as much as possible at the weekends. Why do you do that? It doesn't sound like you like it, and it must be boring as fuck for your kids.

I always take some time to myself at the weekends, usually to go to the gym. DP sorts the house out and usually plays some sort of Wii game with the kids. If it's a nice day they will go for a bike ride, I've usually got work to do. Every so often we will do a day out at the weekend to maybe a little farm. Mostly we just go for walks and take one child at a time so they get a bit of individual attention. We also tend to have a meal together in the pub most weekends.

It sounds like you have far more child-free time than most people. Would it really kill you to do something that they would enjoy for a change? And you never know, you might like it too.

We have an odd job day on Saturday, with swimming lessons, doing stuff that needs to be done, then Sunday, we usually do national trust stuff.

It is really good and not at all twee! Loads for the kids to do, fun and they learn lots. This years we have been to Alice in wonder land teaparties, 2 world war blitz day, egg hunts, apple harvesting days. Brilliant value for money and all followed off by a very nice cream tea on Sunday afternoon.

The National trust is not twee any more. We rarely go in the houses (I find that dull though kids are quite interested) we just go in the adventure playgrounds, walk in the grounds around the lakes and stuff.Some of them we can take our bikes to.

Art Galleries are cool - very far from 'twee'. I don't know where you live, but there's loads of amazing science museums and stuff near me (east midlands) and my mum (north east) and my friends (London)- all very 21st century and cutting edge.

Really if dh response is that everything is twee, but shopping is ok, how tragic does that sound?

If you can't visit somewhere like that what about getting outside? I have taken baby in a backpack and 4yrolds up some of the smaller hills in derbyshire. Or just the local country park?

I have friends that are not outdoorsy. At weekends they take the kids swimming, go to the £1 cinema club, go to the farmers market and then cook lunch with what the kids have chosen-kids help, vist friends, use their tesco vouchers to go on the days out options.

Do you think you need to try some things with an open mind?
I don't think you have to do entirely child focussed stuff (though kids need exercise and if it's raining the pool or soft play are good options), but I think kids should (if parents have the means have a range of experiences-it's all part of their development.. I don't think shopping need ever be one of them.

I've met 10 yrolds that have never seen a cow or the sea or their local library or anything much outside of a mall and their house.......It's a big world out there.

Are you maybe thinking of museums as old stuff in glass boxes? It's really not like that now. Loads of places are geared up for kids. I wouldn't normally enjoy a railway museum but we went yesterday and it was bloody good! My 4yr old was fascinated with every little thing. And it was free.

Where do you live?

Park, woods, swimming, bowling, ice skating, cinema, soft play, walk/bike along a river/canal.

Every so often we will do day trips to sealife centre, farm, safari park, zoo, monkey forest, pony sanctuary, severn valley railway, canal boat trip, go on a big red tour bus that's local, musuems etc

Best thing we ever did was to switch our foodshop day to mid-week. We used to go Friday after work, with the rest of the planet - now we go Thursday, get through in half the time and without wanting to commit homicide in the bog roll aisle (I wonder if it's possible to kill someone with a family-sized pack of Andrex).

Local leisure centre prob a good place to start - but what's wrong with a lazy weekend? Do you always have to be doing "stuff?" There's a heck of a lot to be said sometimes for NOT jamming activities in endlessly so kids learn how to actually PLAY in the house and focus on something of their own choosing rather than being spoon-fed constant activities.

I tend to avoid food shopping at the weekend if I can, at the moment that is difficult as Dh's van is broken, so he is using the family car for work so I either have to do it on a Sunday or hope to borrow my mum's car. Week end activities here include: trips to the zoo (we have annual passes which cost the same as 2 and a half visits to the zoo, we have been about 10 times on these passes and still have 4 months to go), farm trips, park, feeding ducks, visiting in laws, baking, puzzles, playing games, a dvd afternoon sometimes on a Sunday (bath the children early and all snuggle on the sofa for dvd, popcorn ect), playing in the garden ect. I don't think you have to take children out every weekend, they should be able to entertain themselves at home ect.

Have to agree with those who say children+weekend+shops - absolutely no way. Sorry to say this but it makes me really sad when I hear about children whose only weekend activity is shopping when there is so much out there for free or for very little cost.

Would your oldest like football/ballet/gymnastics/tennis/cycling? - all great things to start at an early age

Swimming pool/local park/museums are very hands on nowadays/painting or cooking at home?

It does sound like your DP is putting a dampener on things, go out without him and please don't let your childrens' only memories of weekends be Sainsburys or Asda.

I don't mean to be harsh but there's so much you can do.

Not sure where you live, but I got a babies (and kids) in the city book for the North West, it cost me a fiver and was the best money I ever spent! (I have since found out there is a free website)

I took my DD (2.2) to the Manchester Museum yesterday. I was aprehensive thinking she wouldn't like it, but she loved it. Museums have got all interactive and INTERESTING! It held her attention for hours and mine and DH's too. Best of all it was free :)

Stuff that we found boring as hell not that interesting when we were young may well have changed now that your children are here and are well worth a try.

we live in leicester (to those that have asked)

lboro yeah DP does put a dampener on things, he has always got an excuse as to why we "can't" do certain things, ie i suggested taking the kids to the park yesterday - his response was that its "too cold" ffs, we could just all bundle up its like he doesnt like doing family things :(

do you know what, reading my posts, i think its more that i dont know what to do at weekends that would make DP happy (other than shag him and get drunk together - which obv we cant do when we have the kids which is most weekends ) and i am damned if i am taking the kids out without him.

But so what if it's twee? A bit of 'tweeness' beats dragging grumpy children round shops any day. Most National Trust/galleries etc have great parks/children's activities attached. If you're relaly not into that sort of thing then just go swimming or out for a coffee at your local park.

We have three kids, i will do anything rather than take them into any shop, ever, especially at a weekend.

Don't do very much. Just being together is quite often good enough for them - they are still very small. Hang out at home, do 'stuff' go to the park, swimming, have a pyjama party, go out for lunch.

Pretty soon you'll be hauling your arse out of bed every Saturday and Sunday to do football, or dancing, or whatever else they want to do in the future. I suspect you enjoy the weekends without them because you aren't forcing the issue and can just chill out. They'd probably like that too.

And, for the love of God, do your supermarket shop online!

But why NOT take the kids out without him? After a few weekends of you doing fun things with the kids and grumpy-arse sitting at home wishing you were there for a shag, maybe he'll decide to come with you!

bit off point here but why do families do food shops together ? Always amazes me how many couples/familes you see altogether trudging up and down the aisles. OK if you're nearly together and all loved up but otherwise why? Surely much better use of time for one parent to do it and everyone else to stay at home doing something much more interesting or even watching television. shopping will be much quicker and parent doing it will have some child free head time (you've got to take your breaks where you can...)and no kids pestering for sweets etc.

Why don't you take them out without him? DH is a fair weather walker/cyclist so doesn't always join us on outings.

So I take the kids out while he has some time to himself or does chores, and then when we get back he keeps them busy with things he enjoys while I take a break. I'd rather have it that way than him grumbling about the weather and spoiling our walk!

Surely your eldest has ideas about what he/she wants to do?

Weekends are always too short for us to fit in everything we want to do!

Also, if your children are having plenty of fresh air and exercise they will need more sleep so there'll be more opportunities for sex!

Why not take them on your own? What happens during the week? Are you at home with them or are they in child care?

How about just taking the older one out, leave the little one with your dp.

I often just take my 4yr old out and dh stays home with the baby at the weekend. But then I will happily take them both out say in the school holidays, or obviously before dd started school.

I wouldn't see shopping as a day out. In fact I was just telling my neighbour I took dd to York yesterday and she automatically assumed we went shopping.

god, shopping is not a leisure activity.

no wonder you find weekends miserable.

walks, museums, lunch, clubs, playing at home, great ideas here.

To the OP - you really don't have to 'do' so much planned stuff with your children. I have 3 children and my older 2's idea of heaven is to have a completely free weekend to play at home for hours on end!

Some of the things we do at weekends sometimes:

-Go out for lunch or an early dinner
-Go to a musuem - don't know where you live but all the big London ones are great (we also went to a fab schools museum in Hitchin recently)
-Go swimming
-Rent a dvd
-bit of cooking with the kids
-see friends with their children
-park/go for walk/bike ride/feed the ducks

But really we try not to do too much - if you pack too much into your weekend it's not v relaxing. In fact my kids love to get dh to lie on the floor and they jump on him/he gives them horsey-rides etc. We just value our time together as a family and make the most of it while we can. Dd1 is 9.5 so it won't be long before she prefers her friends to us.

Personally I wouldn't bother taking them into town. Children and hot, crowded shops are not a good mix unless absolutely essential. Can you not do your supermarket shop online or a mid-week evening when it's quieter?

God you lot are making me feel so guilty - quite often at the weekend we don't go anywhere, all weekend - is that really bad and I just didn't realise it?

We spend week days at school/work and most evenings one of my lot are at a club or class or whatever. So come the weekend, it's nice to actually be at home and relax!

We do lots of things together, though, be it playing on the wii, gardening or playing in the garden, doing board games, arty stuff or cooking, but unless there is something special planned, we tend to all be at home.

My older children also spend a fair amount of time in their rooms, reading, listening to music or playing on their computer games, and whilst I wouldn't want them to be doing that 24/7, I do think it's good that they know how to amuse themselves and have some chill-out time after being at school all week.

So now I'm wondering if I'm being unreasonable.... Sorry for hijacking post BTW

Oh Moo, I don't think there's anything wrong with just hanging out at home and my DCs love lazing around in their pajamas on Saturday mornings.

But I think the OP was asking for ideas of things to do outside of the house? TBH, I find that pre-schoolers need to get out and about otherwise they're bouncing off the walls. Once children have started school, home becomes a place to relax and hang out, as you say.

Staranise - good point, sorry, didn't notice the ages of OP's children. Yes with children that young they do need to be kept a bit more busy....

v1xen, that's a shame that your DP doesn't want to do stuff with you and your DCs at the weekend and it must be frustrating.

Would he read the suggestiions that people have made hear and take any of them on board ? If not then you either keep on shopping or bite the bullet and go out without him. Personally I'd do the latter and it sounds like you're not happy at the moment so it might be worth a try. I bet there are lots of firework displays you could start with next weekend.

|I would sign dd up for class in something for the morning so she gets some exercise rain or shine. Then I'd arrange to meet up with a friend at New Walk museum in the afternoon.

I've made the trip on the train from Nottingham with 3 kids on my own to new walk. We had such a lovely day out!

We have also asked for a Stay Play Explore family ticket for xmas-3 leicestershire attractions for about £50. We went to Twycross zoo, the space centre and Conkers with ours this year. All great with 4yrolds.

Why don't you have a firework theme next weekend? Do some firework pictures with black paper and chalks. Make some parkin and then haver fireworks in the back garden.

Get the train over to Birmingham -there's always special offers for the sea life centre and other places. We got £10 tickets to the indooor athlectics at the NIA there -it was brill.

I've been for lovely walks in Charnwood forest.

What do your parents do with the kids-get some tips off them.

An ideal weekend for me involves balance-so dh takes the kids out to the park whilst I sort stuff at home or get some exercise. Then we all go out in the afternoon. Then we go to pil for tea and both get a break!

Perhaps you need a real talk with dh about family stuff in general. We had 3 under 3 at one point and dh would take them all out for the morning when I was up in the night. Everyone should have time alone and together.

My friend promotes Leicester for a job so I can ask her for tips if you like. I know she spent a lot of time with her years pass to twinlakes when her kids were small!