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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that that employees with small dc huold have preference on having xmas eve off work?

332 replies

pippylongstockings · 30/10/2010 22:01

I work in an office with over 15 employees - 4 of us have young DC ranging from 11 to 2 years old - Surely at christmas it is not being unreasonable to think that the minority of 4 could have Christmas Eve off work?

BUT No, it is done on a random lottery - why ?

Honestly, I feel christmas is for the children and working til 4pm on xmas eve is not a happy place to be if you have kids at home waiting for you.

OP posts:
lovechoc · 31/10/2010 10:37

haha @ OP!

Try working in the NHS and see how fair it is then. You don't always get a say, even with the request book! Sometimes you work alternative Christmas DAY each year, and New Year's.

Working Christmas Eve is nothing. Not sure what the problem is. I used to choose working Christmas Day before DC, the pay was great!

lifeinagoldfishbowl · 31/10/2010 10:38

My friend is a soldier - this year she will be in Afghanistan for Christmas and her child (she is a single parent) will not see her at all. Let's give it some perspective.

lovechoc · 31/10/2010 10:38

and single people deserve to have a nice Christmas too. One of my friends doesn't have children, but it's a given that she won't mind working Christmas Day?? Not sure that's fair tbh. She is allowed to celebrate with her hubby just like anyone else.

Original poster
pippylongstockings · 31/10/2010 20:40

Goodness sorry to all I have caused such mortifiying horror to!!!!

Thank-you Gaelicsheep for understanding the perspective that I was coming from and taking all that flak while I was in bed!! Wink I am forever in your debt.....

For all of you that have jobs and careers in roles that demand shift work and 365 days of the year cover this thread is probably not directed at/relevant for you - you have postions that require work 7 days a week 52 weeks of the year. Hats of too you for that.

I work in a retail bank - we work on a rota basis all year so the lottery bit is the main part that really pee's me off - it is not in any way fair.

Yes, I can ask others for the swap and I will do so.

But also YES I feel it is important for me to be home with the children on Christmas Eve - to wrap presents, to go to church, to be with my young family. The excitment is something I don't want to miss and I am sorry if people feel I am being unreasonable to want to be with my young children at this special time.

I agree there are alot of people in other different and difficult circumstances that can not be with their family and I am not trying to take away from their wants/needs.

I know too well that the whole - my kid is ill/has a school play etc etc is a difficult one to manage - I was a branch manager for 10 years before I had my DC and I would try and consider everyone when doing the rota not just pick names out of a hat and leave it to the staff to scrabble/bribe amoungst themselves - I am not wanting to play top trumps.

OP posts:
gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 21:07

Hats off to you for coming back to this thread! Bet you won't do another AIBU for a while! Wink

discount · 31/10/2010 21:10

You're not being unreasonable to want to be with your children on Christmas eve. Your colleagues are not being unreasonable in wanting to be wherever they want to be either. If parents of young children were always considered first, other people would NEVER get a Christmas Eve off. So that is why there is a lottery system. Sounds very fair to me. We can't always get what we want (hey that would be a good line for a song...)

SkeletonFlowers · 31/10/2010 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nattiecake · 31/10/2010 21:15

haha, my company has just introduced letting you have your birthday off as an extra days holiday... guess when mine is...

Grin
nellieisstilltired · 31/10/2010 21:16

mmm, would'nt be happy with a lottery system. Our system (and if you think your office is fraught contemplate those of us who are fretting over getting xmas day and bosing day off Grin} is to keep a tally on who has had it off last year or over last years.

That way everyone has a turn. The problem with a lottery is that the same people could be lucky or unlucky.

kat2504 · 31/10/2010 21:19

You are definitely not being unreasonable to want to be with your family. I'm sure all parents would love to be with their children over Christmas.
It's only unreasonable to expect the things that you want to be given a higher priority just because you have children.
Many people who have to work over Xmas find ways around this, especially if they have to go in on Xmas day, such as having Xmas celebrations a day early or a day late. You could wrap your presents on the 23rd instead. You'll have plenty of chance to go to church on the 25th!
My brother is single, he is a chef, he almost always works Xmas day. He chooses to do so in order to have two days off at New Year. If he was told he had to take xmas off this year and work New Year instead, he'd just have to lump it.
I agree that there are probably fairer systems than a lottery but they shouldn't force people to get the short straw just because of their family situation. That is just another form of discrimination.
It must be annoying for people who have to go in on xmas eve and spend all afternoon at an enforced party. Especially when you know you could be at home with family. But it is a working day and most people, whether or not they have children, are expected to be at work on that day.

bumpsoon · 31/10/2010 21:24

You are so being unreasonable , i work as a nurse ,i may well be working christmas day ,as i have done many of times in the past , i have small children and i request the shift that suits me best if i have to work , luckily this year plenty of people have requested to work christmas day ,so fingers crossed i will get it off and have to work late/early new years eve/day instead Grin

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 21:30

There is clearly no comparison between a nurse, doctor, paramedic, firefighter, etc. (I presume I don't have to list every possible profession?) and someone in the OP's situation. The OP acknowledges this and so did I last night while I was being pasted left, right and centre.

The main argument on this thread seems to be: I have to work Christmas Eve therefore the OP is being unreasonable. That is not an argument, that's sour grapes.

TrillianSlasher · 31/10/2010 21:34

4pm? Get a grip!

If your job is something that can shut down for Christmas (doesn't sound as if you are a nurse or a police officer or some other essential service) then why not campaign for everyone to have Christmas Eve off?

TrillianSlasher · 31/10/2010 21:35

Fair is lottery + extra pay + option to swap if someone would rather work Christmas Eve for double pay and someone else would rather have the day off and not the extra money.

brimfull · 31/10/2010 21:37

ffs
4pm
i did night duty xmas eve last yr
everyone takes their turn

this yr will be working xmas eve and xmas day along with loads of others

TrillianSlasher · 31/10/2010 21:39

If you are on a rota then whoever would normally be working Friday should be scheduled to work (no annual leave at Christmas), and then have the opportunity to swap.

I still think you should be campaigning for everyone to get the hwole day off.

spidookly · 31/10/2010 21:39

I think the kind of arrangement you demand OP is something that must come from your colleagues.

Everyone wants Christmas Eve off.

Some people who have no children or whose children have grown up will be happy to work so others don't have to.

You don't really get to demand such a kindness. They have just as much entitlement to that day off as anybody.

When your children are grown, I assume you plan to always offer to work on Christmas Eve?

LookToWindward · 31/10/2010 21:57

It's a long time since I had to do a holiday rota but when I did it was done on a rotating basis with no swapsies or other such rubbish. Personal circumstances were irrelevant. My view is that you are are paid to do a job - your personal circumstances / wants are not your employers concern.

Your desire to spend xmas eve with your kids is no more important than your singleton colleague's desire to spend it in the pub.

If having xmas eve is so important for you then find a job where you don't have to work it.

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 22:03

It's a pretty poor employer who has no concern for their employees as individuals. Just cogs in a machine eh?

nellieisstilltired · 31/10/2010 22:10

Gaelicsheep, can I ask, have you ever worked anywhere were covering xmas is a bone of contention?

Because, honestly, every year its a fecking nightmare between "can I have 3 weeks off to go to America" or

"I always spend xmas with ils." Never mind the rest of you!

We can put in requests, but thats what they are, requests. Not a statement of intent. So I completely understand lookingtowindwards position

At least it is fair.

TrillianSlasher · 31/10/2010 22:14

I don't think the employer does have 'no conern for employees as inidividuals', maybe they have equal concern for all employees whether they have children or not, and so choose not to favour one group other another.

If the OP thinks that Xmas Eve is not important for people without children then she should have no trouble finding someone to swap with in return for working a date that is more important to them in future.

frgr · 31/10/2010 22:20

i work in a normal office, with normal hours

i don't see why people with kids should have any sort of priority. what about my colleague who cares for her elderly mum? or my boss, who is religious and therefore i think he attends (and, from what I can tell, organises) a lot of church-related activities? are we saying that because i have kids i'm a higher priority? what about my colleague who works part time with teenage kids - do i trump her in the priority stakes?

it's completely unreasonable to expect employers to award priority in these cases, and since our place isn't guaranteed to have the same people year-on-year (it's a lot of contract work on projects) the only fair way is via a lottery

entitlement attitude much? Hmm

MrsDaffodill · 31/10/2010 22:20

I think turns is fairest.

We know that every three years or so we go on a long haul trip around Christmas and New Year to see family and so DH can't cover any of Christmas Eve, Christmas, NYE, etc.

So DH makes sure that all the other years he does much more than his fair "share".

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 22:20

Thankfully, no. I'll admit I've always worked in a small team and we've taken responsibility for ourselves. No heavy handed management decisions needed.

hubblybubblytoilntrouble · 31/10/2010 22:24

Same here gaelicsheep, not one complaint in 20 years.