To get really angry when DD jumps out and scares me

[ForMashGetSmash]

DD is 6....recently she has taken to surpising me when I least expect it....jumping out and saying "boo" in a really sharp and loud voice. Every time it is when I have been alone for some time..so totally not expecting it....the other day she did it wile I was in the bath and its horrible!

Just now I was cooking...sharp knife in hand and boiling water nearby and she did it again!

I had a terrible shock and jumped about a foot in the air....burned my hand and totally lost my temper...roared at her which I NEVER do...not really hard or anything but feel so bad!

I HAD told her previously not to do this as it's bad for me....and can be dangerous...plus I am a highly strung type...easily rattled and I think she knows this and likes the effect!

I have told her I am sorry for the scary roaring...but that she mustn't jump out on people like this...is that reasonable or is it quite acceptable to jump out on people?

YABVU imho. She is just playing.

And your reaction seems very extreme. 'It's bad for me and can be dangerous' makes you sound like Mrs Bennet in Pride And Prejudice, or Mr Woodhouse in Emma - ie like a mildly hysterical and slightly comical figure.

Sorry. Unless there is something in your life that has made you extremely delicate or anxious, you are over-reacting big-time.

It's a family tradition at our house, to jump out and say boo, we've done it for years. When I was a kid I hid in the cupboard where the coats go for ages till my Mum got home so I could make her jump.

If she does it enough, perhaps you'll get desensitised to it? Maybe you could jump out and scare her?

YANBU.

I whacked dh once when he jumped up behind me - I had just let myself into the house and I didn't think anyone was home, and I reacted instinctively out of terror.

I don't think it's unreasonable at all to point out that this sort of silliness can lead to accidents, especially given what you were doing. She is old enough to understand that, surely?

Belligerent... you made me laugh! I AM a bit like a woofy characcter from Pride and Predudice! I can't help it but I am often in a state of mild hysteria...got a lot of stress atm.

Maybe I need to chill out..I just hate it! My stomach lurches and I feel actually sick...is tha not normal then?

Ithink I will try it on her olderyetwider!

[hgrin] @ beertrix

YABU OP, she's 6 and just playing, trying to make her Mum laugh/get a reaction. Although I'm sure you've bashed it on the head now. Maybe do it to her and see how she likes it? [hgrin]

I think at 6 she is old enough to understand (if explained to) that there are certain situations where it is not acceptable to jump out at people but in general you can't expect her not to do it at all.

However my DH still hasn't learnt at considerably older than 6 that I really really hate being jumped out on, especially after watching scary films.

I think, as a 6 y.o., your DD should be able to comply with rules similar to BeerTrix. If she cannot follow these rules then she should expect further sanctions.

Also make it clear that it is not funny to do this many times a day.

Or maybe I am like that character from the sketch show... Catherine Tate's one...where that woman screams in fear every time there is a slight happening...such as toast popping up!

Sorry, ForMash.

Now I feel guilty for saying that. I do think that having rules about being careful about jumping out at people with knives is a good idea though! :)

My brother once got a taxi home from the pub just so he could get into the supposedly empty house before the rest of us, so that he could jump out and scare us when we got back from walking home. That one is legendary! (We are all very silly people)

Yes- jumping out on somebody with a knife is liable to freak out even the most sanguine

It's ok beligerent you pretty much nailed my character down...I am very OTT in many ways...reactive and a bit twee...so yes...rather like Mrs Bennet. I am trying to chill...if I lived 150 years ago I would be reffered to as "delicate" and I would get the vapours a LOT!

Formash: of course, the better your reaction the more she will do it

You would have been confined to a room with spooky yellow wallpaper and prescribed laudanum and absolutely NO poetry, or novels. MN would be seen as far too exciting for you! :)

YANBU - and I don't think that you should feel bad for getting cross with her. If she had been previously asked not to do that to you then she should expect you to be cross with her for doing it again!

Mind, I am quite sensitive to this situation as I know how you feel. My husband has occasionally done something similar and I hate it, as I have a slight heart condition, which I take medication for, and I am a bit paranoid that a shock like that will kill me! Think I'm being a bit over dramatic, but still, my husband knows not to intentionally scare me! Mind you, bless him, he can't really help it when he walks innocently into the kitchen and I jump a foot in the air anyway just because I wasn't expecting him! Lol.

I hate it as well but the DSs have been yelled at for it so much that they don't do it now!

In our case rules like the ones above don't work. DS2 needs things black and White.

Oh Beligerent! The yellow wallpaper...I can already see it! It's...it's ALIVE!!

It's the other way around chez Streaky. I like to do it to ds at the breakfast table, when I catch that look in his eye that shows he's mentally wandered off. Gets him every time and he usually jumps about three feet in the air.

My best one was a couple of weeks ago when I hid outside the bathroom door as ds was going for a shower, waiting for him to pop out and call downstairs to tell me to put his timer on (otherwise he's in there all week). As he came out I did a loud RAARRRGGHH at him, his eyes bulged and he desperately covered his boy-bits in case I saw, fell backwards into the bathroom and caught the door with his foot, which bounced back at me and hit me on the head. I fell backwards onto the laundry basket, while shushing loudly because dh was sleeping off a 12 hour night shift. Ds was screaming with laughter, and is still telling everyone he knows about it.

We don't get out much, you know

you have told her not to do it and she did it again

that's just plain bad behaviour and absolutely not playing as another poster suggests

it doesn't matter what she was doing she has been told not to do it

she deserved to be shouted at - fine if you want to apologise for it - personally I would be extremely cross to have been ignored and defied to this extent and would probably have sent to room / confiscated items

has she promised not to do it again

YANBU, it is a long runnig thing in our family to make people jump. My brother was the best at it when I lived at home and it has carried over to me and DH in our home. We always make each other jump.

But this morning backfired.

DH gets up for work at half 5 and I obviously stay in bed, He went to work as usual and at half 8 decided to pop back for something. I was still in bed, DD still in bed. DH creeps in the bedroom and leans over to give me a kiss. I felt breath on my face and whack, thumped him straight in the face!! Gut reaction. I genuinely thought I was going to be robbed by an intruder or worse. It took me about half hour to peel myself from the ceiling and DH has a swollen eyebrow.

He has promised not to do it again

YANBU at all. You got burned because of her doing something you had already asked her not to do. Hardly surprising that you roared with fright and pain. If you were holding a knife then you could have cut yourself. She scared you on purpose and you roared back. No need to apologise. Hopefully she will learn her lesson and not do it again.