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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it is a bit weird when women shop for their husband's clothes?

78 replies

TheEvilDead2 · 30/10/2010 11:03

as well as pack for them for holidays, business trips etc?

I have a few friends who do this... my DH would never trust me to do all his clothes shopping for him (and frankly I couldn't be arsed). And holiday packing and stuff like that... isn't it akward when someone else does your packing?

I wouldn't let Dh pack my suitcase. Christ knows what I'd find it in it.

OP posts:

emptyshell · 31/10/2010 00:18

My husband takes pride in wearing socks with holes in that drive me to distraction, his pants would be condemned by the WHO if I let him wear them to the point where they lose their mollecular structure like he would do. At times, yes I do get incredibly fed up with pants and socks having more hole than fabric, trainers falling apart and shedding bits everywhere - and give in and buy him clothes. He just hates clothes shopping, hates spending money on clothes - and given the fact that shops for the tall are usually incredibly rare or overpriced - I can understand why.

He generally packs about 10 minutes before we're due to set off anywhere.

Shodan · 31/10/2010 00:21

DH doesn't buy clothes very often.

He takes pride in the fact that many of his clothes (including about four jumpers scarily like the ones Hecate linked to) are at least ten years old.

He does buy his own suits, including dinner suit, but I tend to pick up shirts etc for him.

AAs far as packing goes, if it's a business trip, he packs. If it's a family holiday, I make him leave his stuff on the bed so I can pack it. This is each suitcase has a selection of clothes for each family member in case one goes missing.

KittyFoyle · 31/10/2010 00:34

I think it's weird.

DinahRod · 31/10/2010 00:36

I pack clothes for him and even pick out dh's shirts and ties because he really is colour blind and as a result he can put together some hideous purple/green combinations.

He is pretty disinterested though in clothes shopping. He's 6ft 2, broad shouldered & finds finding shirts/Tshirts that fit both width and length ways without billowing v frustrating.

Mumcentreplus · 31/10/2010 00:54

I suppose I understand your opinion but tbh my DH doesn't mind so..

AlpinePony · 31/10/2010 07:25

Like so many others, I buy clothes for my partner because if I didn't he'd quite happily go out in rags. I put stuff in the bin behind his back and encourage the dogs to finish the job if it's too holy.

MrsVincentPrice · 31/10/2010 07:44

DH always wears exactly the same thing. Some he replaces himself (though I sometimes have to point out that an item is coming to the end of its natural life) and some I will pick up in bulk when I see them in the sales.
I'm assuming that "oh, if you go past the jeans shop on your way could you pick me up a pair of XYZs please?" is not problematic, it's the taking responsibility aspect that people think is creepy, not doing the job per se.

YunoWhatYouDidLastSummer · 31/10/2010 07:52

My husband has absolutely zero interest in clothes. He has come up with a workable wardrobe that is appropriate for any occasion. It really doesn't make any difference whether he buys thing or I do, because there is very little choice involved. We just replace things that have worn out. And because he is rarely at the shops and I often am, I will tend to pick something up for him if he needs me to.

It's no more creepy than the fact that I buy diet pepsi when I'm in the supermarket - I know he has run out and I know he won't be in the supermarket this week. Why wouldn't I get some for him?

ullainga · 31/10/2010 09:07

I love shopping, he doesn't, so it's a win-win if I buy his clothes. Besides, I go to US on business quite often so I always take an extra empty suitcase and do some serious shopping there - saves us money as I know where the bargains are. He would probably just walk into the first department store and spend 5 times as much on the same thing.
I don't however, organize his wardrobe or pack his suitcases. I don't iron his clothes and he knows how to use the washing machine, so no I*m not spoiling him, I only buy his clothes because I like to shop.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 31/10/2010 09:16

I don't understand why it is weird?

It isn't that DH isn't allowed to buy his own clothes, it's that he doesn't have the time. Occasionally when he does, he buys things for himself, but as a general rule he doesn't have the time so I will pick him up the things he needs when I am getting things for DS/myself/the house or whatever.

Some people seem to have an aversion to really sharing things/tasks/responsibilities in a relationship, now that I do find 'weird'.

pigletmania · 31/10/2010 09:18

YAbU, my dh hates clothes shopping, and would happily walk around with cloths falling apart. As his wife I have a duty of care to make sure that he does not walk around like a 70's throwback . I do not pack for him though.

SylvanianFamily · 31/10/2010 09:32

I buy DHs clothes to avoid his entire leisure wardrobe being bought by his mum.

he wears a suit to work- so sorts himself out to look smart there - but seems to see weekends as shades of pyjamas. Hence, he's happy to wear Christmas present. T shirts from years back until they fall apart.

I buy him nice weekend clothes for my own enjoyment!

marriednotdead · 31/10/2010 09:45

YABU, I buy 90% of DHs clothes. He would rather poke his eyes out with a plastic fork than go hunting for clothes, and I don't mind shopping.
He has no idea what suits him and willingly accepts that I can 'dress' him well as he always feels confident when he is wearing an outfit I have chosen.

His blood pressure visibly rises at the thought of packing a case, it takes considerable coaxing to get him to choose shoes etc to go with the other stuff I'm packing.

We all have strengths and weaknesses, why not share the load?

Original poster

TheEvilDead2 · 31/10/2010 17:01

It isn't the helping your partner that I find weird.

It is the fact that what I wear everyday...it seems to personal for someone else to choose? Clothes are a part of the way you look, the way you feel, the impression you give to other people, your identity (even if you like being a bit slobby going out..it is still your style.

The packing thing, I could never show up somewhere and have no control over what I had with me. Would do my head in. Also seems slightly lazy

OP posts:

Mumcentreplus · 31/10/2010 17:13

Thats the thing... some people have no qualms and do not feel they way you do (personally) about their wardrobe and are happy for someone else to take the lead.....

I don't mind packing for DH..I'm good at it...so long as he sorts out what he needs/wants...

I've actually packed for many people..I'm good at it

SylvanianFamily · 31/10/2010 18:19

Thing is, I am more confident in clothes shops, and certainly more relaxed about returning. So I ask DH what kind of clothes he asks and needs, and then go and choose a nice example of that in the shop. I systematically go up two brands from what he would choose himself - mainly because when he gets 'into' a thing he'll wear it to death, and more expensive clothes hold their shape better.

defineme · 31/10/2010 18:32

Dh buys his own stuff, but we've not got much money for clothes and his birthday is January7th so I'm afraid he gets clothes from the sales from me. He's a dream to buy for -medium in everything.

I'm very hard to buy for because of my height and strange proportions. Dh can choose me pyjamas because I care less about the fit of those!

He packs for himself-then no blame falls on me.

I do xmas shopping because I have more time at home and do it online-dh would do it, but leave me with the kids for the day while he did it.We do plan what to buy together though.

My mum buys dh pants and socks for xmas because he doesn't care and she adores being able to buy stuff off qvc guilt free!

octopusinabox · 31/10/2010 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cyb · 31/10/2010 18:55

I think its weirder when Men buy their wives clothes, or help them choose

MissBeehiving · 31/10/2010 19:02

DH would never pack or choose clothes for me . He chooses his own stuff and is fab at choosing for the kids too.

He has to be motivated to buy for himself. He told me once that he wasn't in a "pants buying mood"

SixtyFootGhooool · 31/10/2010 19:03

Dh has no interst in clothes and if I didnt buy things for him would only ever wear Adidas Tshirts and walking trousers.

As for packing, lst time DH packed his own case he arrived in Lanzarote with one pair of shorts, 3 t shirts a pair of trunks and 5 editioons of the NAtional Geographic!

JennyPiccolo · 31/10/2010 19:58

I but clothes for my other half, don't see what the big deal is. He hates shopping so much that he'd rather be freezing and wearing stuff with holes in.

Only thing is, im crap at mens style so he always gets the following

jeans
checked shirts
black jumpers

Since wearing some smarter stuff though, he's starting to slowly take an interest in how he looks and even bought himself a winter coat and some other bits and bobs recently.

pranma · 31/10/2010 20:33

If I didnt shop for dh's clothes he would have nothing newer than 20 years unless it was presents.Every morning he puts on clean shirt,pants and socks but wears the same trousers and jumper until I take them away and replace them with clean[twice a week unless we are going out].He owns only one suit-the one we married in!He has never voluntarily bought an item of clothing and will only rarely agree to accompany me to buy stuff for him.
He may be 'weird' but he is the dearest and best husband anyone could ask for and I wouldnt swap him for the world.

FootLikeATractionEngine · 31/10/2010 20:35

Some of these men are very clever....

Thingumy · 31/10/2010 20:39

I occasionally buy dh a few bits if I see it in a sale,an odd t shirt or coat.I bought him some trainers last week as they actually had his size (11's),he was chuffed as he has no inclination or enthusiasm skintflint for any form of shopping unless it is something to do with engine parts.

I certainly don't 'dress' him and in the past dh has pulled this face at the item of clothing I have lovingly bought.The Cheeky fucker.

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