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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...for tarting myself up a bit just before DP gets home....

60 replies

spookerv1xen · 29/10/2010 19:20

i am a SAHM and often don't bother with make-up in the day, especially if all I am doing is the school run and housework. my days usually consist of the above and sometimes meeting friends or taking my youngest to playgroups etc. but just before DP is due back I nip upstairs, and make myself presentable, stick a bit of make-up on, sort my hair out, put my contacts in if i have been wearing my specs, squirt of perfume, change into something at least clean a bit more attractive than tracksuit bottoms and uggs.

does anyone else do this? or is it horribly "stepford wife" - ly of me :o

OP posts:
southeastastra · 29/10/2010 20:10

if it makes you feel good, there's no harm is there.

sungirltan · 29/10/2010 20:13

sometimes i do this but am presentable during the day anyway. if i am annoyed with dh i do nothing. that said i doubt he notices the difference!

WomanOfAbjectMystery · 29/10/2010 20:24

Ayjay - I don't buy that. If she doesn't think her DH will think less of her, then why does she fix herself up a bit before he gets home?

Yeah, it is important for both partners to make an effort and not take each other for granted.

The question is, why does woman making an effort usually = conforming to the beauty standard?

I just did all the bills and filed the month's paperwork, went through the closets, put things in bags for the charity shop, bought some timers for electrical appliances and programmed them. All of these tasks were fiddly, tedious, annoying as hell. I believe I have made quite enough effort for tonight. I do not feel I also have to apply lipstick to be good enough, or sexy. Doing menial tasks does not desexualize me. Being covered in vomit, perhaps does...

foxinsocks · 29/10/2010 20:25

Because it makes her feel better about herself

southeastastra · 29/10/2010 20:26

who wants to be an old slob though, it can just make yourself feel better, fresher, more alert

traceybath · 29/10/2010 20:30

I do hair/make-up etc at the start of the day and touch-up through out the day. However DH normally arrives just after I've put dc's to bed so normally covered in bath water and looking probably the worst I've looked all day.

I don't see how making yourself look attractive for your partner is wrong or demeaning. God I do all the domestic crap too but know I feel better when looking groomed and also I find DH more attractive when he's clean and has made an effort.

And lordy the vomit thing. DS1 had reflux for first year of his life - I swear the smell of sick never left me that whole time and in the end I gave up trying to get rid ot it.

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 20:36

getting done up will make you feel good.enjoy

thesecondcoming · 29/10/2010 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YaddahYaddahYaddah · 29/10/2010 20:39

It all depends on the why really, if you are doing it because you feel you have to then it's not a good thing but if you are doing it because you want to the it is a Good Thing, and quiet nice that you want to make the effort for him too - I couldn't be arsed to do it everyday!

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 20:41

look a clean bush and winning grin cant go far wrong

Hedgeblunder · 29/10/2010 20:42

I just thinks it's nice - my dp puts on my favourite aftershave when he's been at home all day. It's lovely.

phipps · 29/10/2010 20:43

DH doesn't like me in make up but I put a bit on today when I went to meet him for lunch. He said I looked nice, noticed I was wearing a dress and perfume. Felt nice to make an effort to show him how important he is to me.

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 20:44

i make an effort to go to work,see pals,so why not for boyfriend.

Pandsbear · 29/10/2010 20:48

Oooh now this is a thought. Seriously it has never crossed my mind (in 4 yrs of SAHMumness). YANBU if it makes you happy.

wonders to self but how does it work when you are doing tea and so are cooking and tidying and 'persuading' children to eat aforesaid tea when DH comes home?

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 20:49

i just noticed squirt impulse up skirt.lol

usualsuspect · 29/10/2010 20:50

After 30 odd years neither of us can be arsed

BeenBeta · 29/10/2010 20:53

YANBU. I know DW does it for me and I always check to make sure I look presentable before she comes home. Its just making an effort for each other.

carriedapumpkin · 29/10/2010 20:55

why don't you tart yourself up a bit in the morning so you can feel great/better all day, rather than just before your dp gets home?

MangoTango · 29/10/2010 20:55

Can i ask how long you have been together? I was like this when first dating, even remember wearing makeup all night in bed (yuck) so boyfriends didn't see me makeupless in the morning. After 11 years together though, the only time i make much of an effort is when going out for the evening. (Rare.) I think it is a really nice thing to do though. It shows the spark is still there. I wonder if my dh would notice if i did something like this.

carriedapumpkin · 29/10/2010 21:03

what if your dh prefered you without make up, but you prefered yourself with it?

wouldyou wash it off? before he got home?

thesecondcoming · 29/10/2010 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumcentreplus · 29/10/2010 21:11

I think its cool...OP go for it...I think he will appreciate your effort my DH does and vice versa...ignore the naysayers...fucksake!..

ShirleyGarrote · 29/10/2010 21:14

haha at Sauvignon Blanche - if OP's DH is sticking a bit of lippy on before he comes into the house, then this thread just got a whole lot more interesting

Mumcentreplus · 29/10/2010 21:17

hehehe...

motherinferior · 29/10/2010 21:22

I have to say this wouldn't even occur to me.

If it did occur to me I still wouldn't do it.

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