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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to be "beaten up" again

46 replies

tetrea · 28/10/2010 19:25

I had my 18 yo brother over this afternoon. We were both playing with the dds (4 and 7) and then he asked dds what they wanted to do and they both said beat up mummy Shock.
My brother grabbed me picked me up before pinning me to the floor before encouraging dds to tickle my feet and ruffle my hair, they must have been doing this for 5 mins (although it felt like 5 hours)despite my pleas to stop.

He's coming round again on Sunday and they are already talking about how they and db are going to beat me up again. AIBU to tell my brother not to do this again.

OP posts:
phipps · 28/10/2010 19:26

What?

StewieGriffinsMom · 28/10/2010 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

byrel · 28/10/2010 19:31

YABU don't bee so miserable, my dc have also attacked me with the assistance of DH.

pjmama · 28/10/2010 19:32

Tell him as soon as he next walks through the door that this is not acceptable and not funny and will NOT be tolerated again. Of course YANBU, I'm surprised you even have to ask.

Pogleswooooo · 28/10/2010 19:32

YANBU at all - that sort of game is fine if everyone is enjoying it,if someone isn't and says so it should stop straight away.

thisisyesterday · 28/10/2010 19:32

yanbu, and you need to tell your children too

at 4 and 7 they are plenty old enough to understnad that it was not nice for you and that it should not happen again

Numberfour · 28/10/2010 19:36

YANBU. Being tickled is not fun and not funny ( I am not talking about an affectionate tickle for a second or two!)

If DH and DS did that to me I could not be hel accountable for my actions because I detest being tickled and would land up kicking and screaming.

My palms are sweating at the mere thought of what you had to endure. Tell your brother to grow up or fuck off.

pallette · 28/10/2010 19:45

YABU your db was being a brother and your dds probably enjoyed it

Booboodebat · 28/10/2010 19:50

All those who think the OP is unreasonable:

Is it ok by you even though it's clearly upset her?

That should be where the line is drawn.

TBH, it makes no odds what anyone on this thread thinks.

If it made you uncomfortable, and your brother didn't stop despite your 'pleas', then stern words need to be had imo.

gretalse · 28/10/2010 19:51

Leave off you weren't beaten up. Your dds and db had some fun with some rough and tumble.

booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2010 19:53

games like this are only ok if everyone is happy with it. i find the tickles totally unbearable. i really can't stand them and i always end up crying with the frustration of it. not acceptable for her brother to encourage this and OP needs to speak to both him and her dcs about what is and isn't acceptable. IMO this crossed a boundary. OP wasn't happy with being touched liek this. it should have stopped when she said so.

Original poster
tetrea · 28/10/2010 19:54

I wouldn't say it upset me but I can't say I enjoyed it or care to repeat the experience.

OP posts:
Jaquelinehyde · 28/10/2010 19:56

Did you tell them seriously to stop?

Did you make it clear to your brother how you felt?

Or

Did you just let it go as a big joke?

If you have told him really how it makes you feel then he is a bully and shouldn't be let in your house.

If you haven't made it clear then grow up and tell him how you feel!

If it really is that traumatic to you then these are your only options, I don't get what the problem is.

nortine · 28/10/2010 19:56

YABU it was probably just a bit of fun and I bet it didn't actually happen for 5 mins. OP did you never do anything to dbro when he was younger? Maybe he saw a chance for a bit of payback as well as probably becoming dds favourite uncle.

dertitude · 28/10/2010 20:04

OP I think you're being melodramatic, you were not beaten up. Your brother was just amusing your dds and letting them get a little payback on mum. I doubt that he would even do it again on Sunday anyway. I also doubt that they did it for 5 mins as surely they would have got bored after a couple of minutes.

Jaquelinehyde · 28/10/2010 20:09

Oh and yes YABU

cobbledtogether · 28/10/2010 20:10

YANBU - if you didn't like it, then you didn't like it so of course its reasonable to say you don't want it to happen again.

Just tell him that you don't want it to happen again. If he still does it then he's an arse.

thelittlebluepills · 28/10/2010 20:19

YANBU at all- just because everyone else thought it was fun doesn't mean you did and you have a right to say no and have that respected

for those who said you are being overdramatic: it's about the loss of control and if you don't feel comfortable then it should stop. and nobody should be minimising how awful that feeling is.

mrsbigw · 28/10/2010 20:23

YANBU saying you dont want to be tickled.
YABU saying that you have been beaten up.

huddspur · 28/10/2010 20:23

OP this thread really is how to make a mountain out of a molehill. Your db and dds had a little fun at your expense in a bit of rough and tumble. How about you "beat up" db on Sunday Wink

kikoline · 28/10/2010 20:35

YABU its sounds pretty harmless to me. OP did you never do this sort of thing to db when you were younger? Be honest

Original poster
tetrea · 28/10/2010 20:40

kikoline Yes me and db did do rough and tumble when we were younger but I am 9 years older than him and that was some years ago.

OP posts:
cupcakesandbunting · 28/10/2010 20:41

DS (3yrs) and I wrestle each other. We even have "wrestling names" mine is Mummy Monster and DS's is Crazy Dog Blush

HecateQueenOfWitches · 28/10/2010 20:45

take control.

if you don't like it then give them all The Look and say "No."

And walk out of the room.

Inertia · 28/10/2010 20:47

YANBU.

Brother needs to be told it's not on. Not something I'd want to encourage the children to do either.

It's not a game if the person being 'got' is upset. If everyone is happy to join in then fine, but the OP clearly wasn't.

My DH and DDs would know not to tickle my feet - I find it so unbearable to have anyone touching me feet that I end up flinging them about wildly- I'd be scared of accidentally kicking someone.

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