to think why should I have to refer to myself as a sahm?

[springchik]

Whats wrong with full time mum?

God, I would never have referred to myself as a homemaker, or housewife. Would have been a big fat fib for a start...

I think this question refers to what you do most of the time, so I answer with my job, although I'm obviously a mum too. I think full time mum is fine though, doesn't make me feel insecure about my mum status as I am pretty part time, sadly.

I dislike SAHM too. I don't stay at home - we're always out and about! Stay-at-home sounds lazy.

Full time mum makes sense to me.

I always tick the 'retired' box if I ever have to fill it in on forms

full-time administrator of the household

IKWYM Pasta it has some sort of "banished to the four walls" connotations about it.

I don't like the term full time mum, it implies that as a working parent I'm a part time parent which is somewhere between false and mildly offensive.

If somebody refers to themselves as full time mum I take it as "I don't have a paid job".

Solutions:

Start a hobby and call yourself a writer/artist/gardener/student etc

Get on a short course and call yourself a student.

I'm not being cheeky, I really think there are more ways to define oneself than paid work or having children.

On my DS birth certificate I am listed as full time mother. DH registered it so I have no idea what the other options were or whether you just chose your own occupation. I am a part time student aswell but define myself more as a SAHM/FT Mum. When they are st school I will probably say student as they won't be needing me fulltime.

'I don't like the term full time mum, it implies that as a working parent I'm a part time parent'

Why does it though? Maybe some SAHMs are offended by the term 'working mother' as it may imply that they are not doing any 'work', which of course they are albeit unpaid work.

When I was a WOHM the term FTM never offended me, I don't see how it would.

But that means that my poor children only have a part-time mum and a part-time dad. Poor little waifs

Full time mum sounds smug - even if it isn't intended that way. Is your dp a part time dad? Not a fan of SAHM either tbh. Prefer SAHP.

Going out and earning money to keep a roof over your child's head is just as valid a parenting task as changing their nappy.

Being a parent is what you are, not what you do. So there's no 'full time' or 'part time' about it. If that were true, then our DC (those who go to some sort of childcare) would be our 'part time' daughters or sons which of course is ridiculous.

Full time mum is a bit rude to working mums (who are of course still mums while they are at work)

Why not just say (if asked what you do) "I look after my children"?

Stay at home Mum is completely inaccurate for me. I'm more a 'Stay at home when I'm not at the shops, clinic, toddler group, Surestart centre, library, post office, school, college, park, zoo, city farm, swimming pool Mum'.

You don't have to refer to yourself as a SAHM mum. Call yourself what you like. I'm a works-in-an-office-four-days-a-week mum, I won't be offended if you want to call yourself a full-time mum though. If I was I think it would say more about my insecurities than your choice of words.

I think there is a tendency to overthink this issue. I am perfectly aware of the power of words and labels, but, in all honesty, people who ask probably just want a vague idea of what you do. If someone thinks that SAHMs are lazy, taking the easy option (pah!) or contained within four walls, then I think it hardly likely calling yourself a 'domestic engineer', 'full-time mum' or 'personal childcare executive' is going to change their mind.

I also think it unlikely that the person typing my info into a computer gives two short shits about how I describe my occupation, my marital status, my title or any other tick box on a form.

I call myself a SAHM and I think it gives as good an idea of what I do as any other description. I've had job descriptions that seemed far more inaccurate in the past!!

How about "I sit on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle and throw a fruit shoot in the dcs direction from time to time"

I only use SAHM on here as I know it is quicker to type
.
On forms I refer to myself as "full time mum" I do not like the term "housewife" though. I suppose it depends on our sensibility.

Is homemaker the masculin version of housewife? I had never heard it and would have assumed it meant "builder"

I always put teacher or education as my career on insurance docs etc. I spend my days teaching DCs how to be decent human beings so I reckon it's not far off. I loathe Housewife and sahm but am quite taken with 'domestic engineer' [scribbles in notebook]

why do people at the school gates care what you do? Surely many of them are also looking after their kids all day? (Obviously, I know plenty of the mums at the school gate do work either in the home or somewhere else. I work full time but pick DS1 up 4 days a week)

If people must know, tell them you're making your fortune through a webcam stripping business.

How about 'domestic co-ordinator'?

"why do people at the school gates care what you do?"

Quite simply to make conversation/get to know the person you ask better?

'Why not just say (if asked what you do) "I look after my children"?'

But using the same logic, some sensitive people may object and say that implies WOHMs are not looking after their children.