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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take a moving day from work

68 replies

waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:12

My family are moving house soon and we have the dates for moving in. The date is midweek but we are going to actually move on the Saturday. My husband wants me to take a moving day on the following Monday.

I have said no as I think that as a teacher I have enough time off and afterall I am actually moving in on the Saturday. My new house is very close to my school so as a compromise I could leave close to the bell on the Monday. I have also taken this half term to mostly pack so am doing very little school work.

My DH is, to put it mildly, not amused and says that I often work above and beyond and therefore one day to move - on a day when my contact time is light- is not too much to ask.

If it is relevant many of my colleagues have taken moving days.

OP posts:
BelligerentGhoul · 27/10/2010 20:13

YANBU - I am a teacher and also didn't take a moving day. Often, setting cover is more trouble than working!

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:15

Yes I had thought the same that setting cover is a pain, although I think I have 2 free periods that day.

OP posts:
bigchris · 27/10/2010 20:15

Yanbu

scurryfunge · 27/10/2010 20:17

If you feel you can cope without a day off then go for it, presumably it would be an unpaid day anyway.

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:17

How am I going to get this across to my husband? Once again he is seeing this as evidence that I put my job before anyone else.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 27/10/2010 20:18

yanbu it's totally up to you
why does he WANT you to take it? is he going to be off work?
is he worried that he'll be left sorting everything out while you're back at work?

you shouldn't take it just because everyone else does if you don't think you need to.
but if it would genuinely help then do it!

OmniaParatus · 27/10/2010 20:18

YANBU if that is what you want, but be warned, we moved on a Friday and I didn't take the day off work. DH and BIL dealt with most of the moving and left our old, rented, flat FULL of furniture.

It took hours to clear, we got into strife with the caretaker for throwing so much out, and I was so angry that if we hadn't just got a joint mortgage I would have left him.

If you trust DH to do a good job though, it sounds like the best idea, moving house is hellish (but then sometimes I imagine a class full of kids is too!)

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:22

Yes thisisyesterday that is exactly what he thinks. Last time we moved house I was on a school residential and he did have to move almost single handed. I can see that I would be of help by taking a day off to move but I feel uncomfortable doing so.

My DH will do a good job, he is much more organised and practical than me.

OP posts:
mitochondria · 27/10/2010 20:27

I wouldn't, if it wasn't the day I was actually moving.
Setting cover is more of a pain than actually turning up.
Also, if I was losing one of my free periods to cover a colleague who had done this I might be a bit miffed.

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:28

I think the day may be paid, but it varies from LEA. Our staff very rarely do cover as we have full time cover supervisors, but I take your point.

OP posts:
AuntiePickleBottom · 27/10/2010 20:30

yanbu, i guess the house with be livable by the monday.

thisisyesterday · 27/10/2010 20:30

i guess if it was me and i had asked dp to take a day off to help get everything sorted then I would be pretty miffed if he refused.

so can se from both sides... maybe you need to sit down and talk it through again?

Panzee · 27/10/2010 20:33

Do you put your job before anyone else? Would it help him to feel better just to take the day off?
There was a thread a few months back about a husband who always managed to be busy on moving day. Everyone was pretty united that he was a git. Just saying...

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:35

Right I have checked my timetable again and although I do have 2 free lessons I do have 2 exam classes on that Monday.

I will talk to DH again, he is not going to be amused. But I have managed to do most of the packing this week and I will have time in the Christmas holidays.

OP posts:
Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:37

I am not sure that DH would call me a git but he does think I am being unreasonable. We are moving on Saturday. I have promised to leave school by 4pm on Friday and to not bring any work home that weekend.

OP posts:
Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:38

I also don't have a choice about being busy on the Monday, teachers working hours are not flesible but we do have the holidays. I suppose I do have the choice about asking for a day off. If I did not have an exam class in the afternoon I would ask for the afternoon off.

OP posts:
BelligerentGhoul · 27/10/2010 20:39

Hang on - you're not even moving on a week day? In that case, I think you'd be very unreasonable to take a day off! Why does your husband need to take a day off?

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:45

I typed a reply and it has gone.
The moving in date was mid week, we negotiated to move it to the Saturday , I hoped this would mean I would not need time off school.

My DH works flexi time so he has built up his hours so he can have the Friday and Monday off.

Like you I think to have a day of school would be unreasonable.

DH wants me to have a day off to help him unpack. He seems to be still annoyed about the last move when I was out of the country.

OP posts:
BelligerentGhoul · 27/10/2010 20:48

I agree with you and think your husband should just cope tbh. He will only need to unpack essentials alone. You can always unpack other stuff together at the weekend. Maybe you could offer to pick up takeaway on the way home from work as his 'reward' for unpacking without you? :)

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 20:50

I am not sure I will say to him "you should just cope" Grin

I may just say the request had been turned down or ask the head to turn it down!

OP posts:
BelligerentGhoul · 27/10/2010 20:52

Good thinking, Batman! :)

Original poster
waterlooroadisadocumentary · 27/10/2010 21:44

Thanks

OP posts:
IggitheImpaler · 27/10/2010 23:48

TBH I think you should share the load here. In my relationship it would be the other way around, and it would drive me nuts.
I'm a teacher and have had a day off for moving in the past. It's expected. There is SO much work to do in a move. If he took the lion's share last time, I think you should be offering to do whatever you can this time.
Your exam classes will have forgotten you quite soon but you'll still be living with your DH!

ZombiePlan · 28/10/2010 09:22

Depends how much work DH will have to shoulder alone if you don't take the day. FWIW I nearly throttled DH when he refused to take the second of the two moving days he is entitled to (he refused because "moving house only takes one day"). Which is true in the strictest sense of the words although I don't believe any of his other colleagues has ever applied the same logic to the situation. The reason I was especially pissed off was that at the time I had a 4 week old...

ramonaquimby · 28/10/2010 09:28

gawd take the day off you're entitled to. will only make other teachers feel guilty when they move and take the day off