Renewal of vows after nine months of marriage?

[BalloonSlayer]

There is an article in the Laydee section of the Times today about the current vogue for having Vow Renewal ceremonies.

Apparently the Black Swan Hotel at Helmsley, North Yorkshire have launched a £2,500 wedding vow renewal package.

You get a certificate and everything.

One couple are renewing their vowa after nine months of marriage because they had 140 people to their first wedding and it was "Too big. So we decided to have another one."

AIBU to think ?

I might consider it for our 25th anniversary.

Just so long as I don't have to fit into my wedding dress.

I would quite like to get invited to a vow-renewal ceremony as I could then ring up the other invitees and speculate wildly on who'd been shagging whom.

I don't get out much.

I would have a big party for my 25th anniversary, in much the way as I might celebrate a "big birthday", but won't be renewing my vows as they were for all time . You renew things, with fixed time limits on them like library books, not wedding vows.

Bet this idea originated from accross the pond.

Clearly there are valid reasons for renewing vows or making a similar gesture but, generally, I think you should make vows without an expiry date the first time around and accept the "till death us do part" part means just what it says.

The only person I know personally who renewed vows did so after one partner had been unfaithful. It didn't save the marriage.

Hey OP...are the people renewing after 9 months Katie Price and her latest squeeze?!

I think Katie Price had her marriage blessed in church after having a civil wedding which is different to just renewing vows

Perhaps they had a lot of family pressure re how to do the actual wedding, went along with it to keep the rellies happy and then did this just for themselves. Seems a bit ott to spend that kind of money on it, but if they've got it and they're happy so be it.

My grandparents re-stated their vows to each other in church on their golden wedding anniversary. I don't think they'd heard of the term 're-newing vows' and all I saw was two people taking the opportunity to think again about the promises they'd made to each other and celebrate that.

Think some people on this thread just want and opportunity to take the piss.

Exactly LittleRedPumpkin, I think it's lovely when a couple want to do that

Oooh, look! Heidi Klum and Seal renew their vows every single year on their wedding anniversary and they have a party too!

With a different theme every year, natch.

Which is all very marvellous for them, isn't it? Last year, they did it in Mexico! Just a small party, with 80 celebrity pals! Super!

Just seen that Paul Daniels renewed his recently as well- who said that romance was dead?!

Renewals after 9 months: either they have short memories or they think no one at the original ceremony was paying attention.

Renewing every year: well, I suppose if you need to keep reminding yourself why you are with someone, surely you are with the wrong person? Or it's like an advertising campaign: "so, here we are again noticing these two people are still together, isn't it great? Look how they can still hold hands and remember each others names. And it was all made possible by having lots of money and no need to do their own housework or child care"

All together: "aaaaahhhhh"

Throws up.

Oooh, gosh I'm bitter today.

Well, I am one of those people who wants to renew my wedding vows. Dh is in the forces, and I was five months pregnant when we got married. I didn't wear a proper dress as we couldn't afford it, didn't get a 'first dance' or a honeymoon, or have our friends there. We just had family and a meal afterwards. For some people thats lovely, but I'd grown up imagining what my wedding day would be like and its sad to think I didn't get that. Also,at the time I was so flustered I barely recall saying my vows to dh. I want to walk down the aisle of a church feeling beautiful and look into dh's eyes and make those promises to him all over again. This time with a dvd recording and a proper wedding album!

If DH and I manage to move out of this treacle like shite we've been in for years I will definitely be renewing my vows, with a proper wedding, you know one with guests!!!

LeQueen, I agree totally...I don't need to keep proclaiming my marriage (or life) publicly and I often wonder about people who feel they need to constantly emphasise their lives by issuing updates and status reports.

i thought after our wedding that it would be nice to do it again but without MIL with fewer people.

so, why the hell not? YABU

But.... some people, for whatever reason didn't have the wedding day that they wanted- I agree that it's the marriage that is important, not the day (I had a very small wedding as I hate being the centre of attention and just wanted to be married, if that makes sense) but it is nice to have a special day for a couple to look back on, which a renewal can be.

Or.... some people may want a blessing at some stage in their marriage for personal/religious reasons. I had a civil wedding as I didn't attend church at the time and didn't want to be a hypocrite- but now I would like us to have a blessing in church (a service of prayer and blessing of the rings, etc) It doesn't have to be a huge gesture and I won't be wearing a wedding dress (I didn't when I got married!) but it will be special for us.

Technically I suppose DH and I renewed ours, in a different country, in front of people who couldn't be there the first time, in a different church denomination. That was after 9 months. Although we never re-said them. We just had the marriage blessed.

It's true that that one was less about flowers, cake, dress, people-we-have-to-have, seating arrangements. I think our first wedding was sometimes very keeping up appearances as it was the first on both sides and us mid-twenties so young enough to be pushed around by our parents/not old enough to go 'feck off, we're paying'/too nice to our parents!

yeah but if you renew 9 months later what day is your anniversary on?

maybe its so you get twice the anniversary presents???

God, it's miserable on here today.

Yes, of course it is what matters in private that is important but that is not inconsistent with a public ceremony which restates the vows.

The point of a Church wedding is to join a couple in the eyes of the congregation.

Renewing vows represents something different - a celebration of the marriage itself and recognition of the children and family/friends.

Based on some of the arguments on here, why have any kind of birthday/anniversary party. I mean what is the point of a birthday party. You are a year older and everyone knows that. Why do anything at all, really.

I got married at short notice for legal reasons and we might renew/restate our vows after ten years because hardly anyone was at our first wedding. Then have a nice lunch afterwards.

i think renewing vows is a lovely idea - but not after 9 mths [hhmm]

we got married on our 15th anniversary - been married nearly 4yrs and dh would like to renew our vows on our 10th wa so 25yrs together , and i think its a lovely idea

he wants a full hog roast as i wouldnt let him have one for our wedding reception [hgrin] so if we do ever do it, i will allow him to chose the food