to refuse to sponsor a relative who is doing one of those charity holiday excursions for a charity of their choice

[activate]

am torn

we tithe our family income (we set aside 10% we have ongoing child sponsorships plus select specific charities on an annual basis)

a relative is doing one of those pay a holiday charity arranger x thousand pounds to take part in some marathon walk / bike ride and is expecting me to donate

the charity is a religious one and we are atheists - we would not choose a religious charity ever even though they do good

so AIBU

YANBU.

Just tell her, 'sorry, but I can't.'

I wouldn't not do it on the basis of religion. The reasoN I wouldn't do it is that it pees me off no end that these people get to go on their jollies for free in the name of 'charity' so yanbu

if she is paying the cost herself would it make me unreasonable to not sponsor because we wouldn't choose the charity she's chosen

You don't have to sponsor anyone. But if it's a charity that actually is doing some good in the world, wether you agree with their rhetoric or not, then I would donate if I could

You would basically be paying for the relative to go on holiday. I would say that you've already allocated your charity spending for the year and can't afford it. Or say that you don't donate to religious charities.

It's your money, your choice how to spend it. No one has any right to 'expect' you to spend it on something that they want to do.

These things piss me off no end too

YANBU.

It's great that your relative is doing something so proactive, but only you should be the judge of which charities you choose to help.

There are so many that some of the vetos need to fairly arbitrary imo. Religion is an easy one.

Sounds like you're pretty generous as it is.

YANBU if it isn't a charity you feel strongly you want to support, don't give them anything. I have a few I will always give to when I can and several I refuse to give a penny to.

I'd feel a bit [hhmm] about writing a cheque out for sonmeone to go on holiday in the name of charity myself. Why can't people do their sponsered whatever in the country they live in?

YANBU, its basically fund raising for a holiday and possibly a small amount will end up with the charity. It would be a definate no if it was a charity I didnt support anyway.

I don't understand these things. Surely the charities would benefit more from people donating the thousand or so pounds the pay to go on these "charity treks"

No, YANBU really annoys me how many friends are now going on treks to Peru, climging that mountain in Kenya, wall of china etc etc all supposedly for charity.
Just say no, you support your own causes

YANBU

If it's not a charity you choose to support, then don't support it.

If you agree with the work that the charity does, you could choose to sponsor for that reason.

You could choose to sponsor because you want to support the person regardless of the charity.

You could decide not to sponsor because you don't support the charity on religious grounds.

You could choose not to sponsor because you don't agree with the cause, or want to support that particular charitys work.

You could choose not to sponsor because you feel that if someone wanted to raise money for charity they could do it in a much cheaper way than going on holiday to do something that they will love doing and will benefit them as an individual more than it will benefit the charity.

All of the above are reasonable options, and you would not be wrong for choosing any of them imho [hsmile]

Whether or not she is paying for the trip herself doesn't make a huge difference to me. It is likely that she has to raise a certain amount before she can have the trip paid for her, charities usually make sure their costs are covered and a significant donation is made before they will let someone do this sort of thing.

YANBU if it's a charity you don't support.

Our town do a lot of fundraising to raise money for the Christmas lights, which really annoys me! People seem to think I'm tight when I refuse to donate or buy raffle tickets etc. It's not that I'm tight at all, there are just better causes I'd rather give my money to!

We also tithe so can be quite mean about sponsorships etc, most people understand that

Please could someone tell me what tithe means?

You give 10% of your income to a charity or church

Tithe means one tenth of income. It used to be paid to the church, like a tax.

Thankyou! It does actually say that in the OP doesn't it, I'm being thick!

Yes it does

YANBU. Donations should be asked for in the manner of a request, not an expectation. Even if you did agree with the religious stance of the organisation involved, you should not feel obligated to give to the charity your relation has designated. I don't sponsor people for this very reason - if we have spare cash and I want to donate some to charity, I do so at my own discretion and give an extra contribution to something I genuinely care about such as cancer research or human rights organisations. Not animals and not kids or religion. It's not that I don't care, but I should be able to give to charity in exactly the way I feel I want to. If anyone has a problem with that - it's their problem.

Don't be bullied into the easy route - politely decline.

YANBU. You must explain why though.

I have a relative who does runs etc for Cancer Research UK and I refuse to sponsor as it is one of the most wasteful charities, in terms of funding, going. It's hard to say "No", but necessary sometimes.

BTW, I always give to Penny Brohn Cancer Care instead, and let my relative know. Perhaps you could let yours know that you'll donate to an alternative charity with similar aims?