Will try to keep as short as possible.
Been split with my ex for about a year, he was to put it bluntly, an absolute pig while together. Since he left he has been living in a shared house.
I live in a HA flat, with secure tenancy etc but it is tiny. 2 dc in a two bedroom flat, if we stay here then I will move into the living room with a sofa bed and they will have a room each - have a dd and a ds, one child has SN.
Ex has had a windfall and wants to move out of his shared house either into a flat of his own so he can have dc overnight etc or will pay for me and the dc to move out of our HA flat and he will move back in while we move into a bigger, with a garden private rented house. He says he wants to do this as he does not like the idea of living in a nice flat of his own while we are stuck here. I believe him when he says this, he loves his dc and has always paid child support on the button.
I would like to move but a very worred about moving out of a secure tenancy into private rented, especially in the current climate. We live in a big city and it is not the best, lots of traffic, cramped flat etc, but we do make the best of it, get out a lot and are relatively happy here, we cannot get a move to a bigger place, the wait list is about 8 years. The kids school is ok, not perfect but whose is? Ds is statemented so would be moving with a statement (another worry). I don't have a great support network but a couple of close friends within about half an hours drive. Not really close to my family and of course ex is here and sees and has the dc a fair amount.
My worries is that in the past ex has not been greatly reliable although I would make sure that we move to a place that I can afford alone, he basically would be providing moving costs and whatever deposit we needed. But I have lived in private rented before and it wasn't always a great experience. I would be moving somewhere out of the city as it is far too expensive to live in private rented here. So everything familiar would change.
So what do you think? If you were in this position would you go or hang onto your secure tenancy for dear life? I feel I am being very rushed too as his tenancy has come to an end at his current place so he wants to move asap, we would basically be moving in the next couple of weeks, worrry about this being disruptive for ds although he is on a reduced time table at school as it is, due to SN. I am also really worried that by moving out I am condeming me and dc to a life time of moving to and from rented places etc, while ex sits pretty in the secure tenancy HA flat as I don't think I would ever get him out again once he was back in. It was hard enough to make him leave when the marriage broke down.
Tell me what to dooooooooo please! Not really but any thoughts and advice, this is a huge decision and I need to get it right for sake of dc.