Is my mil being unreasonable.

[agedknees]

Posting on behalf of my saintly sil. Sil works m-f 8.30 - 5pm. Every 2 weeks she takes my mil food shopping.

Sil has been told her hours are going to be cut down to 8.30 - 12.30pm. So yesterday whilst out shopping with mil, she said to mil that instead of Saturday shopping she can take her on Thursdays and do every week. Sil works near mil. She lives about 13 miles away from mil.

(I do mil shopping when sil is away on hols etc. I live 90 miles away. dh always goes with me when I do mil shopping as mil does not like me, she also does not like sil).

Anyway, mil said to sil "I'll have to think about it" as if it where up to her to decide.

Sil now feels a bit guilty.

So who is being unreasonable?

(Please, please say mil so I can show this to my lovely sil and help her get her weekends back).

Unless she has a weekly hospital appt then she is being VU!

Sister response "think all you like, but if you're not ready b x-time is tescodirect for you".

Feel no shame.

Your sil is nbu at all.

Your mil isand I would be telling her to get a taxi the ungrateful, miserable cow.

MIL is being VU and your SIL is an angel

hmm think the mil IBU as not really her choice is it, if the hours have changed surely it's up to the person doing the helping (sil).

why is your sil's husband not informing his mother of the change and explaining to her that this is now the only option.

does the mil do something at the time sil is changing it to?

SIL needs to say, well that's what day i can do it so if it doesn't suit then you will have to arrange someone else (taxi/bus/etc)

mil does nothing all week. Agree that bil should be the one to inform his mum. Think sil said about the change because she is the one who does all the running about.

The choice is now Thursdays or not at all.

Slight background : one xmas I drove mil to ours for her stay (we have her every xmas nearly) and then drove her back home a few days later. Did her shopping on the way back.

So she then slags me off for not staying longer with her. What she didn't mention to her friends was that I was working a night shift that night. So drove 90 miles there, shopping, 90 miles back in December then pick up dd from her work, get back home, do tea then nightshift.

This is just to let you know the type of person she is.

at least if you do show this to your sil she can see that it is not an un-reasonable request and everyone would feel the same

bit off that the mil slagged you off to friends without giving the full info

SIL worded it all wrong. "I'll be taking you shopping on Thursdays now."

MIL is being shockingly ungrateful. I'd have left to her to her own devices years ago.

Don't know why SIL or you couldn' do online shopping for MIL (petrol for 26 miles same price as delivery fee)? SIL can then see her without doing shopping (maybe go out to coffee or lunch locally to MIL?)in the week on day convenient for SIL.

MIL is BVU and ridgid.

I have suggested online shopping loads of times, but mil won't do it. Does not want a 'strange' man coming down her drive!!

PMSL at "strange man coming down her drive".

Round here we call that flashing

Your MIL is being a cow, if she wants someone to take her shopping then she will just have to fit in with when they can do it.
Otherwise give her the number of a taxi firm and tell the bitch to get on with it

MIL is BU. If she is such a pain why don't her sons drive her places rather than making you and SIL do it?

Why aren't your BIL and DH doing all this running around?

She is being unreasonable, but old folk do get VERY set in their ways.

My MIL also takes her mother (GMIL) shopping. It was every Weds, but is now every Tuesday, as MIL has changed job. GMIL has totally seen her arse, and wants MIL to change her job back! I could take her on Weds, but apparently it MUST be MIL.

Because dh and bil have done some running around, but she just tells them they have not done things 'properly'.

I don't think I have ever heard her say thank you.

Honestly they used to burn witches didn't they

GMIL has totally seen her arse - PMSL haven't heard that for years !

Well, it's Thursday or nothing, and tough to your MIL.

What I mean is, your MIL should be grateful you are both doing so much for her.