Is my mil being unreasonable.

[agedknees]

Posting on behalf of my saintly sil. Sil works m-f 8.30 - 5pm. Every 2 weeks she takes my mil food shopping.

Sil has been told her hours are going to be cut down to 8.30 - 12.30pm. So yesterday whilst out shopping with mil, she said to mil that instead of Saturday shopping she can take her on Thursdays and do every week. Sil works near mil. She lives about 13 miles away from mil.

(I do mil shopping when sil is away on hols etc. I live 90 miles away. dh always goes with me when I do mil shopping as mil does not like me, she also does not like sil).

Anyway, mil said to sil "I'll have to think about it" as if it where up to her to decide.

Sil now feels a bit guilty.

So who is being unreasonable?

(Please, please say mil so I can show this to my lovely sil and help her get her weekends back).

I'd say Thursday or I will order your shopping online for it to be delivered. No thought for SIL and presumably she will be on less money after wages being cut & petrol isn't exactly cheap why should she drive all those extra miles.

I agree only good reason would be hospital appointments.

Your sil is not being unreasonable but maybe mil is lonely and wants the company at weekends. Could you and dh try to get to see her some weekends and sil and her DH see her at other weekends?

Your mil is BVVVU.

If I was your sil I'd refuse point blank to do it from now on.

MIL is BU! Still how old is she? Curious as everyone is assuming she is ancient!

Your MIL sounds very self-centred.

As your SIL's work circumstances have changed, your MIL should be able to accept that her shopping routine will change as well.

I know some people don't cope with change very well, whether they're elderly or not, but it does sound as though your MIL is used to getting her own way.

It does sound as though your MIL is too demanding, and she should feel grateful that her DILs have been very caring in the past, but I think this is the point where her sons have to "cowboy up" and step in.

I definitely vote for your SIL. And maybe you should show this thread to the men involved as well.

I would be putting my foot down, my way or the highway (or rather I'd be doing online shopping for her).

I agree with the sentiment that she should be grateful for having two DIL's that will run her around and she should be doing everything possible to accommodate you both.

Just to clarify, I would only tout that line seeing as you are both (especially SIL) doing your best for her.

Of course Thursday is a better day, and, in fact, the ONLY day.

Even if MIL Won't Be Told anything about SIL's convenience, she might react to fresher food, delivered on a weekday, rather than the chanciness of weekend shopping, when they could have run out of something as the while world and her uncle are shopping.