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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what class I am and why it should matter

95 replies

ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:20

I might come over as a fool here....but be gentle...because I really want to get decent input.

I grew up on a council estate in a very poor area...the local steelworks closed when I was about 8 and the majority of Dads were out of work...we were lucky in that my Dad got another job.

I had a wonderful childhood...big family, very close community...traditional type upbringing with chapel, school and corner shop all within a stones throw...you called the neighbours Auntie or Uncle whatever and could trust anyone in the street.

In the Summer the older kids would take the little ones off on excursions on the bus with a picnic...they just did it, they weren't told to...it was all very homely and close.

Now the area is a midden...a cesspit of drugs and teenage Mums with no support for them at all, there are a lot of offenders living there in halfway houses and it has had a big effect as it is a tiny community...

I now live in a nearby city in what I would have called a "posh" area...people don't speak...other parents are wary of one another and the kids aren't allowed out to play at all.

I feel sad and mourn the fact that my children won't experience the things I did...walking to school alone...playing out all day in the Summer...having a great big gang of kids who were sort of extended family...all we have is a nice house and polite neighbours. ..my older DC goes to a private school nearby and has lots of friends but it's all arranged playdates...she is happy...but why then do I keep thinking back on the past? Is it a case of rose tinted an all that?

I miss the seventies and being working class. I Still am working class...I'm just pretending to be something else...and that's why I feel trapped and miserable.

OP posts:
ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:21

God just read that back...I can almost hear the Hovis theme! Blush

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TattyDevine · 23/10/2010 22:23

You are working class or working class roots.

Sounds like the middle classes are giving you the arse.

Best get off mumsnet then - Bounty is that way =>

Seriously Grin it doesn't matter, it might be that you are in the wrong neighbourhood for you, nothing to do with class.

ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:26

I could be in the wrong neighbourhood...but it IS to do with class...or maybe I've a big fat working class chip on my shoulder.

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onceamai · 23/10/2010 22:32

Well done Mash. Hats off to you and the fantastic supportive background that helped you to succeed. Perhaps none of the neighbours feel confident. Why don't you organise a get together at christmas. You might be surprised how welcome the first move would be. Even in the 70's there weren't as many cars and I'm more worried about traffic than anything else vis a vis playing out. Also we live in a nice area but its very close to not so nice ones. It's very very friendly though - huge community.

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 22:37

branch out my dear (easier said than done)...speak to your neighbours...just wave hello even ( I am currently waving to the guy who walks his dog every day while i have my morning cigarette)..I get where you are coming from..I was a proper eastender..street parties etc..but if you are friendly other people will be too..

ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:39

Well maybe it IS the wrong plae for us oncemai...it's all a bit "Good Life" somehow...but more Margot than the other woman...I might have a scout round...see what other places have to offer. I just CANNOT imagine the reaction if I tried to organise a get-together! There is no traffic really here...but all the kids are kept in...I let mine play outside but I keep an eye on them...there's a little girl across the way and she sits in the bloody window waving at my DD! Tis' tragic!

We're not scarily "common" or anything...so I cannot imagine why the girls Mum hasn't responded to the overtures I made when we first moved here...she was polite and distant...her child is lovely but seems to have no friends...sad...when mine would love her to play with them.

The other kids nea us are boys...ferried off to soccer at the weekend and thats it!

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ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:40

Plus oncemai...it doesn't feel like success somehow...not when there's no community.

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ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:41

Mumscentre...I did try...I would say hello etc...the friendliest people here are the elderly couple opposite...they are lovely but old and fragile...not up for a riot really Smile

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PenelopeTitsDropped · 23/10/2010 22:45

I am of the opinion that if you work for a living, you are working class.

I am working class.

You don't know what's going on behind closed doors.

They're probably eating mushy peas and chips because they've had a celeriac and broad bean failiure.

mayorquimby · 23/10/2010 22:50

middle-upper in tha hissssssssss-ouse

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 22:50

its a start Mash...before you know it someone else will say hey...

onceamai · 23/10/2010 22:50

IMO people are nice or not nice. My type or not my type. I have friends from all sorts of different backgrounds. I know some real cows who are probably upper class and some who are probably under class. I also know some really kind, funny, charming people from every section of society.

mayorquimby · 23/10/2010 22:50

sorry other way round.
upper-middle
still in tha hisssssssss-ouse

ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:51

Grin at celeriac failure! I might have issues because DH is from a terribly middle class family...he sometimes sniggers at my working class traits...I'm obviously his bit of rough!

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ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:53

Under class oncemai! You can't say that!

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llareggub · 23/10/2010 22:53

We're all going to be living in the 70s again once these cuts kick in.

It would be great if mumsnet could dedicate a section to discussions relating to class. We could call it "U or non-U, what is it it to be?" and then these threads would have somewhere to live, and it could be hidden at will.

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 22:54

...the middle class expects he will fall on his face..Grin

mayorquimby · 23/10/2010 22:56

ah yes but us upper-middle are just as work shy as the real upper-class but with none of the trust-funds or charm but still have a sense of entitlement.
So there's no danger of tripping up with this system and attitude to life, is there?

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 22:56

Class?...surely its about sense...class is about money..sense surpasses this..(thank god)

onceamai · 23/10/2010 22:57

Night Mash - going up to snuggle up to my working class DH. Forgave him for it the minute I fell in love with him[hgrin].

ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:58

Class isn't about money Mumscentreplus! It's about expectation.

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ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 22:59

Make sure he washes the coal dust off his face oncemai Grin

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Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 23:00

ooh Mayor..upper middle is not a true class..its like wanting to be upper but heck the trust-fund just does not exist...so you hope the good education and posh voice will get you by..here's hoping you have a big cock..Grin

Mumcentreplus · 23/10/2010 23:01

big cook Grin

onceamai · 23/10/2010 23:02

Oh that was his grandad. Really am off now.[hwink].

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