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AIBU?

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Original poster

Baby sitting

95 replies

canyou · 23/10/2010 22:02

It you agree to baby sit a toddler in someone's home for them for 4 nights so they can go abroad for a shopping trip would it be unreasonable to expect
1] Enough food/milk for evening meal and breakfast
2] Food for Lunch
3]More then 3 nappies
4]A bed made up to sleep in
5]To not have sky set to record their fav programs meaning I cannot watch anything else
6] Be Warn that the child wakes up at night and expects to be brought down stairs to play at 2 am and only goes back to bed at 5 am and the other children get up at 6.30 am
Thought I was speechless obviously not [hblush]
And as this is family the only thing received will be 'great, is she ok ?thanks]

OP posts:
clam · 27/10/2010 09:28

The thing is, canyou, people will treat you how you teach them to treat you. So if you've "not bothered to tell them how you felt" because, not unreasonably, you were tired and wanted to get homw, they've "got" that it was all fine and there'll be no problem doing it again.

You sound far too nice. So I predict it will happen again. They'll ask you, and you'll agree because "they don't have anyone else" (I bet they don't!! Others have probably sussed them out and steer clear) and "it'll be nice for your DD to spend time with her cousin" and "DN will probably have gronw out of waking in the night now."

Good luck.

TryLikingClarity · 27/10/2010 14:50

I came back on this thread expecting to read about a big apology from your sis/ you telling your sister off for dumping all this mess on you.

I am astonished that you didn't say anything [hshock]

No offence, you seem like a sweet sister and auntie, but you are a MUG!

LittleMissHissyFangs · 27/10/2010 14:54

I sincerely bloody hope you will get reimbursed for all the stuff you had to buy to feed, and care for their child.

Seriously. I'd actually cut them off for this.

OK, who can write the best, most carefully worded letter for canyou to print off and give to them....

Original poster
canyou · 27/10/2010 22:27

Yeah I am a mug Blush Will try harder lol
Had a ph call earlier from my sis really was expecting the thank you but she is meeting the girls for lunch would I take her DD for a few hrs
Emm No I arranged the lunch, I will be going as well Confused Also it is not child friendly place because the others wanted an adult only girly catch up with no little people carrying stories home to Daddy hope her mil is free

OP posts:
HeadlessLadyBiscuit · 27/10/2010 22:34

Why are you not fuming at your sister and asking her for the cash? Why??

She clearly hasn't a clue about how awful it was for you

magna · 27/10/2010 23:20

Please please please say something to her - she will think she can treat you like this all the time.

If you haven't been for lunch yet pass her your part of the bill as part payment for what you spent whilst sitting.

3thumbedwitch · 28/10/2010 08:13

oh man, have you been to lunch yet? I would mention a few of the things in front of the rest of the girls, see what their reaction is! Your sis clearly thinks she can walk all over you, so it might be interesting to get outsiders' perspectives on it! Might shame her into paying you.

I can't believe she didn't even realise that you would be at the girly lunch that YOU organised - she really views you as nanny material, doesn't she! Her sense of entitlement is unfuckingbelievable, sorry for swearing again but she makes me need to.

theskiinggardener · 28/10/2010 08:28

Does she actually recognise you as a person. Or are you just a useful dogsbody for her. To not realise you would be at the lunch YOU organised speaks volumes to me.

Stand up and be counted!

MadAboutQuavers · 28/10/2010 08:43

What theskiinggardener said

Seriously OP, are you a bit scared of your DSis? Can't think why you wouldn't discuss the shitty way she has treated you. Is she like this with everyone or just you?

Dysgu · 28/10/2010 09:08

Dear Sis,

It was really nice for DD and DN to get spend so much time together over the days that you and your DH were away in XXXX.

However, there are a few things that I am struggling to understand so thought I would bring them to your attention. I am doing this in a letter as I can then organise my thoughts better and also, because if I try talking to you about them I will probably end up telling you that everything is fine and not to worry about it. But if I don't let you know these things then things will not be fine and I will start to resent having agreed to look after DN this past weekend.

1] I could find no more than 3 nappies in the house when we arrived. I am sure you appreciate that we had to buy some for DN so I have included the receipt.

2] It was surprising to find that there was not enough food, milk and other necessities left in the house. Again, I have included the receipts for the food we had to buy whilst you were away.

The other receipts I have enclosed are for the cost of taking DN XXXX (swimming, to the cafe etc). Again, I am sure you appreciate that we cannot afford to cover these costs but, as the length of your holiday doubled at the last minute it would have been very hard to get by without spending this money in taking care of DN.

We are always happy to help out with DN when we can but I really do feel that you took advantage of me on this occasion. Some advance warning that DN is not sleeping through would have been helpful as the nights we spent at your house were very difficult. DP and I basically ended up working in shifts to cope with her in the early hours of the morning. The fact that the length of the trip doubled at the last minute made it harder for all of us. I guess she was probably unsettled about us looking after her so maybe she's not ready to stay with us for so long yet, even with us decamping to your place to try to make it easier for her.

I am sure you probably just overlooked these things in your excitement to get away and must be feeling very relaxed after your time away. We would like you to reimburse us by the end of the week for the costs we had to cover whilst you were away. By my calculations, the total comes to £XXX.

Thanks - Canyou

Dysgu · 28/10/2010 09:13

The letter above may be a bit passive/aggressive but it looks like you struggle to stand up for yourself where your sister is concerned.

This way you can make your point without having to actually say anything if you find that difficult.

Your sister does seem very selfish/self-centred so there may be some fallout and she will probably make a fuss about you wanting money. In which case, point out that had they been thoughtful enough to leave enough money then the other things (not mentioned in the letter) would not have been such an issue.

Also let her know that in future you will either

a) not agree to have DN overnight at all

or

b) only agree to have DN to your house overnight and on the basis that she simply fits in with your routines.

Good luck

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 28/10/2010 09:34

please say something to your sister, she is using you!

BlooKangaWonders · 28/10/2010 09:40

I think if you send the letter, your sis will go down the route of
'what? you've been staying at my house like a holiday for you, using my gas/ elec and all the hot water, and your dc had a lovely time with their cousin, why should I reimburse you when I've provided all that'
Her sense of entitlement over you is shocking but needs to be changed fast!

Gory09 · 28/10/2010 09:47

Has she complained yet that none of her programms have been recorded?

I am a bit of a mug myself and would probably not ask for any money but I would say as SPB that next time (if ever) DN would be looked after at mine.

TorturesInAHalfHell · 28/10/2010 12:28

Will you take her daughter while she meets the girls for lunch??????

Fuck me sideways, has she always been like this?

BoffinMum · 28/10/2010 15:01

Her surname isn't Royle, is it??? Grin

WhoAteAgentZigzagsBrain · 28/10/2010 15:32

You must say something to her, have you no self respect??

Get yourself down the shops and buy some huge pendulous balls, and then use them to tell her she's a selfish, sponging and incredibly rude person, and for her to save her breath ever asking you to babysit again unless she admits she was in the wrong to treat you with such contempt.

You owe it to yourself.

TryLikingClarity · 28/10/2010 20:32

If she were my sister I would have greeted her at the front door with a slap round the face with a wet kipper.

Say something.

bumpsoon · 28/10/2010 22:14

The thing that struck me about this ,was you saying they were 'in love with their DD' . No your sister isnt in the leastest , she left her much loved DD with not enough nappies ,food ,milk etc with someone with no idea about her nocturnal needs ,so she could swan off for 4 nights of R&R , she is in short a shit mother who will probably tire of her DD once she outgrows the cute stage and her juicy couture pushchair ,be forewarned ,she is probably planning a fortnight in the sun for next year without her ,as you have been so understanding and helpful ,guess who will be first choice for babysitting ?

WhoAteAgentZigzagsBrain · 28/10/2010 22:39

And the sister's like this bumpsoon because nobody's telling her that her behaviour is outrageous.

You'd be doing your sister a favour OP, if this isn't a one off she must be a bloody nightmare.

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