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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby sitting

95 replies

canyou · 23/10/2010 22:02

It you agree to baby sit a toddler in someone's home for them for 4 nights so they can go abroad for a shopping trip would it be unreasonable to expect
1] Enough food/milk for evening meal and breakfast
2] Food for Lunch
3]More then 3 nappies
4]A bed made up to sleep in
5]To not have sky set to record their fav programs meaning I cannot watch anything else
6] Be Warn that the child wakes up at night and expects to be brought down stairs to play at 2 am and only goes back to bed at 5 am and the other children get up at 6.30 am
Thought I was speechless obviously not [hblush]
And as this is family the only thing received will be 'great, is she ok ?thanks]

OP posts:
ForMashGetSmash · 23/10/2010 23:06

That's terible! Poor you and poor baby! NO way would I do that! I would have scrubbed and organised and left lists of things to help with technical stuff!

Original poster
canyou · 24/10/2010 06:15

I am up since 4.30 so had a better night,
My niece is in such a strict routine she cannot even fall asleep in the car [I tried tonight], her bed time routine is very strict and as it was supposed to be only 2 nights I thought why not and it would save them kennel fees for the dog also.
We are sat here having finished a bowl of porridge, having toast and hot milk.
So advice for getting her to sleep the entire night tonight would be gratefully received.
My own dd is still snoring in bed so will be up and full of beans soon

OP posts:
BubbaAndBump · 24/10/2010 06:37

I would also decamp to your house. Makes more sense to me.

Don't think you're going to be able to change her sleeping patterns in two nights, but try just ignoring the attention-seeking cries in the night (unless she's genuinely in need, which it doesn't sound like she is).

Still shocked at your sis/bro's attitude. If I babysit my nieces, my sisters would go over and above to make it up to me in food, dvds, feeling welcome etc etc

Are they normally like this?

TryLikingClarity · 24/10/2010 07:32

YANBU!!! Feel sorry for your situation; I'd feel the same as you.

ragged · 24/10/2010 07:55

No, don't decamp to your own house, you will end up disturbing your own neighbours. But do unplug the sky and watch what you feel like.

Poor mite probably misses her own parents, she didn't vote for them to leave for 4 days. Even the nicest toddlers can throw mega-tantrums, don't villify her.

Excercise? Long walks, even if you have to go out in the rain, or swimming once (or even twice) today? Soft play (bill the parents)?

You could always buy your own bottles of expensive spirits and add a little to niece's beaker present receipts to the parents when they get back.

invisibleink · 24/10/2010 08:00

You are owed by your bro/sis BIG TIME!!

As for sleep tonight, DONT let your neice nap. Yes, she will be grouchy and tantrummy, but better a tantrummy child at pm than at 2am! Take them out for a long walk and lots of playground exercise.

Good Luck!

invisibleink · 24/10/2010 08:02

Oh, and screw the routine. You need sleep to function and they can deal with the routine interpution when they get back!

mumblecrumble · 24/10/2010 08:13

Hang on. Kennal fees???

Are you looking after their dog too???

You deserve a medal!!!

They have been selfish, unthinking and horrid.

Our DD stayed at Grandma's last night and I packed everything - offered money for treats too. She is my daughter after all. How strange that they have not left nappies or given you ann idea of her routine....

When are they due back?

wrinklyraisin · 24/10/2010 08:29

Poor you and poor toddlers (all of them!)

Sounds like the parents have gone off on a 4 day jolly with not even a shred of concern for their child. Can't believe they haven't left even enough essential items let alone extras like treats and wine for you! Definitely bill them on their return for everything including the going rate for 24 hour care. Which is about 150 per 24 hours. They might be family but they have treated you appallingly and even more so by leaving with no adequate supplies for the care and well being of their child! Am grrr on your behalf!

saffy85 · 24/10/2010 08:31

YANBU if anyone did this to me they probably wouldn't ever come home. They'd be to scared too.

You seem a much nicer person than me so make sure they know they owe you big time!

Longtalljosie · 24/10/2010 08:45

You need to write them a letter so you don't lose your nerve when they get back.

Something like...

Dear sibling,

This was a very difficult four days. Niece was up between xxx and xxx every night (is this normal? If so, I would have appreciated some warning).

Additionally, you left no food, milk or nappies. I have left you receipts. As you know, I've recently been made redundant so cannot afford to subsidise this. I'll expect the money in my account by the end of tomorrow.

You won't have all the recorded programmes you set - you'll understand that I did want to watch TV myself so where there was a clash, only one programme was recorded. I'm sure you didn't mean me to only watch the TV programmes you had pre-selected!

I do feel you have taken advantage, especially in doubling the babysitting commitment with no notice.

ScroobiousPip · 24/10/2010 09:02

Like your letter LTJ. Don't forget to add in your bank account details canyou. Wink

Seriously, they need to refund you every penny you have spent, and a serious display of gratitude wouldn't go amiss either. And don't feel in the slightest bit guilty about unplugging sky completely to watch whatever takes your fancy/ keeps the children quiet for an hour.

cosysocks · 24/10/2010 09:30

I'm shocked at their lack of respect for you... you must make them pay you for things you have had to but. I'd also be tempted to draught up a copy of babysitting fees...

cosysocks · 24/10/2010 09:31

BUY

kreecherlivesupstairs · 24/10/2010 09:37

Shock that's all I can say. I am astonished by their selfishness.

thesecondcoming · 24/10/2010 09:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania · 24/10/2010 09:39

I am Shock canyo, keep all the receipts and give it to them! Some people really take the piss, they really are freeloaders. Please don't do it again, if they ask say no! Watch the tv that you want, if it gets deleted so what! They obviously don't care for your feelings, you are doing them a humoungous favour. My jaw is on the floor at the audacity of some people.

pigletmania · 24/10/2010 09:40

Like others have said, draft an invoice and give it to them!

Tootlesmummy · 24/10/2010 09:44

Canyou, I feel for you. What a piss take.

You say that she has a strict bedtime routine! I would say not if she expects to get up every night to play or have a meltdown.

As others have suggested I say to your sister/brother when they come back that:

  1. changing 2 days to 4 was a bit off
  2. they could have warned you she was a child from hell
  3. they should have made sure there was enough food, drink and nappies for the whole time you were there (don't let them say you'd have to feed yourself if you were at your house!)
  4. you expect to have the money you spent paid back to you asap.

Finally, I wouldn't even say anything about the Sky+ situation they can find that out when they go to watch something!

cupofcoffee · 24/10/2010 09:57

Shock I would never baby sit for them again.

Original poster
canyou · 24/10/2010 10:15

Saffy they have to come home, on tue I need sleep
Longtalljosie thks for the letter I might just use it
I have the dog but she is fine A walk to the park, water and food and she is good
I took the two smallies to mass and DN fell asleep so hopefully will be happy,my nosey parker DC sang and chatted for the hr.
Thanks for the ideas DP is on night shift but will get up at 1 for lunch so we will take them swimming, meet friends and go for coffee to sift play and walk the dog to the park for a run around before tea, bath and bed. TBH during the day she is great, not even looking for them night time is bad but if I had been warned that would nearly have been ok as well, she is only small after all
It is the other stuff that really bugged me
Thanks again

OP posts:
BubbaAndBump · 24/10/2010 10:40

How are you staying so calm about all this?! Must be much, much nicer than me.

Let us know how you get on with and with their reaction to your total disbelief at their utter selfishness put-out-ness

Opinionatedfreak · 24/10/2010 10:58

OK.

I haven't ever done this long.........

  1. I would have expected food for all meals + extra for takeaway + some wine available so I could have a glass once the kids were in bed

2)Nappies/ Clothes etc should all be clean. If life had been a bit frantic then a note to the effect that they were out of a nappies could I get some and a tenner would have sufficed.

  1. Beds - often have to make bed at friends/family houses - clean sheets should be left out though. Older kids LOVE to help in that not v. helpful way.

4)Free rein to do anything I liked with TV/ downloading films to watch etc.

  1. Warning re: antisocial habits and notes as to how they are currently disciplining said child.

  2. I would have also expected some cash to pay for 'treats' while they were away eg. entry to swimming pool, drinks in cafe etc.

Basically I think you are right to feel a bit aggrieved.

MaudOHara · 24/10/2010 11:07

I cannot believe how badly they are taking advantage of your generosity Shock

Are you sure they haven't left some nappies somewhere? I would be ringing them (on their phone) to ask them where her food / nappies etc are

LittleMissHissyFangs · 24/10/2010 11:22

Yeah I think a phone call as Maud says is a good idea.

you poor woman, you are a saint.

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