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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's a bit much for a 13yr old to have already started planning his career?

72 replies

GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 12:57

DS is interested in engineering. We went to a careers fair last night and one of the exhibitors we spoke to suggested that anything DS could so in terms of extracurricular activities would help when he later applied for apprenticeships
or university places. Fair enough. I quite agree.

So we had a look at a website that offered course designed for Yr 9sto give them a taste of the subject, experience working with professionals, working on projects
in a team. All good stuff. So we down-loaded an application form. The cost is £145 which is a bit ouch atm but worthwhile if it helps him longterm. But that is only payable if he is accepted onto the course. They also ask for a list of thing he has done that show his interest and aptitude for the subject to see if he will be an asset to the other applicants Hmm And the school has to complete a form in support of his application. So what this seems
to be saying is that he has to be involved in clubs and projects already. To have estabished himself in school or elsewhere as a an enthusiast. And if he hasn't done so they could turn him down in theory.

He loves D&T and science and gets good marks, but they don't study 'engineering' in yr 9 and he isn't a joiner in terms of school clubs. He is simply interested and would like to become involved and find out more.

How early do children have to start this informal networking then? Should we have been locking him in the garage with some grease and a mechano set at age 6? Hmm

Oh yes and another thing that made me laugh! It was suggested that he could start doing weekend jobs to show his enthusiasm. Who
these days would take a child of 13 on (even unpaid) to help out in an engineering works or a garage?

OP posts:
Original poster
GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 15:17

"Perhaps your boy Orm might be happy as a sandboy in the skateparks for a few more years, and will get involved in stuff when he is a bit older.
"

I think that might well be true but the feeling I got was that he needed to get his finger out NOW or miss the boat! He was actually told by one of the exhibitors that he has about 9m to get himself sorted out (or and btw to cut his hair Grin)

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 15:19

Blimey. That's a bit harsh I think.

Original poster
GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 15:19

Blimey a1980! How can anyone know for certain at age 13 exactly what they want to do for the rest of their lives? And think of all those potentially brilliant surgeons who get weeded out because they didn't make up their minds early enough

Crazy!

OP posts:
Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:22

V exciting! DS has school sport most Saturdays - would that ruin it?

Not sure ds would cope with regimented, tho. Is a bit off the old block where that is concerned. But will suggest.

I went to a v odd Brownies where no one wore uniform and there was a v peculiar Brown and Tawny Owl who had some weird enmity. The badges were all odd and v lax and we used to phone pore ol Brown Owl and say "How Now Brown Cow" at least 20 times a Saturday.

Then I went to Guides where all the older girls went off to the pub and there was no one left. We went on a barge holiday and they all had a huge fight over the man driving the barge who had a ginger beard and roguish eye, and we all nearly got sent home.

Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:23

Ore, wot is that course?

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 15:25

Christ I wish I went to that brownie/guide troupe Grin

I would have thought DD would have loathed the discipline of air cadets, but no (is evidently just me she doesn't want to listen to Hmm). It is all very much fun though, yes they have to make sure their uniform and kit is just so, but is all quite laid back and dd says she has so much fun.

A vast majority of dd's sports and flying activities are on a Sunday, anyway.

Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:27

What about dd? She wouldn't want to do that, what could she do? Is animal mad and 12.

Original poster
GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 15:27

Here Twas MNer who recommended them in the first place.

OP posts:
cory · 21/10/2010 15:28

That was rather harsh; presumably just because somebody is an exhibitor at a career's fair it doesn't necessarily give them great insights into how 13yos work.

I would have a comforting chat with your ds. Point out that when he gets to his job interview nobody will care what his hair looked at when he was 13- and tbh that goes for a lot of things besides his hair. Reassure him that he has not missed the train.

But also point out that this might be a good time to start thinking about keeping a list of things he does and has done that might look good on a future application. And maybe suggest that he might actually enjoy joining something relevant.

Original poster
GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 15:29

""

See hully Grin

That's exactly how I feel. There were loads of determined organised looking mummies shepherding boys around the hall yesterday. They made me feel nervous and inadequate....

OP posts:
Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:29

Oh god am racked with inadequecy and fear. Cory, really? Really keep lists now?

Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:30

Ore, yes, it's a turrible turrible thing. Everyone knows about htings that I don't and they are all so organised and thrusting.

expatinscotland · 21/10/2010 15:30

YABU.

I wish I had had your son's sense, especially in a field like engineering.

Original poster
GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 15:32

That's how it works hully! People tell you, no don't worry, just start making spreadsheets and lists and thinking ahead...

OP posts:
Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:33

Agghhhhhhhh! at Smallpeice courses. Just the sort of thing ds would love and I DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY EXIST!!!

How do people know about these things?

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 15:33

IGNORE that comment about the hair.

I work with engineers, some of whom haven't even looked at their hair since 2006, let alone brushed/washed/cut it.

Seriously, that is quite unfair, there is no need to panic parents and kids like that. Silly buggers.

Hully what about Woodcraft (is that the name) - stepson went to that and he loved it. www.woodcraft.org.uk/

Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:34

I can't even think of what to have for dinner, never mind planning for dc's university.

Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:36

OH I went to Woodcraft! Had quite forgot. I went with my best friend and we were hopelessly in love with a 16 yr old boy with golden hair (we were 13) and we both swore we'd name our first born son after him...and she did! AND her dh doesn't know why he has that name. Shock horror.

The only other thing we did though was play British Bulldog and get groped by the older men. Perhaps it's changed?

Original poster
GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 15:38

They know because of MN!

But yes, I agree, how the fuck are you supposed to know otherwise.

See, that's the big fear. That there are loads of uber-organised people out there coaching and hot-housing and steering their well-groomed , motivated , determined young people. AND THE REST OF US KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT!

OK I admit to be being a bit oversensitive atm. I have to examples in front of me - very clever godson who got 11 A* at GCSE, going to do law at Oxbridge (so bloody good at everything I could hate him if he wasn't so damned nice the bastard) and colleagues son clever and hardworking at school but no ambition and is now dossing on someone's floor at 21.

It's enough to drive you to drink! Oh wait...I'm there already Grin

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 15:38

DD doesn't want to go to uni.

She wants to join the forces as an office at 18/19. Which will be fiendishly difficult since she will be up against (mainly) graduates. So she wants to get perfect grades and do as much extra curricular stuff.

She has it all planned out, GCSE, A levels, year out (plans 6 months as a chalet girl, 6 months soccer coaching in camps in America), RAF.

Scary. Like you hully, I have no idea what I am cooking for dinner, let alone my plans for life.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 15:40

Hully, am slightly concerned that ALL your childhood activities involved insane/pervy adults and strangeness.

I think you should write a misery lit book 'please, tawny owl, no'

Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:40

I am 46. I still think about what I might do when (if) I grow up.

Original poster
GoreRenewed · 21/10/2010 15:42

FNAR at Baden-Powell misery-lit Grin

OP posts:
cory · 21/10/2010 15:42

Ah Gore, you should have come to our careers fair instead. Dd and her friends went giggling around the place in their fluffy-headed way, picking up badges and free pens and pretending an interest in all sorts of out-of-the-way career paths until dd's friend got bored and called out loudly "are we leaving the freebie house now?" Yet I wouldn't be surprised if dd and her friend don't get jobs too one day.

Hullygully · 21/10/2010 15:43

There's more, GetOrf, I also went to judo where the leader got arrested after an unfortunate misunderstanding on a camping trip, and karate where I had to stop as I was always chosen as the demonstratee(?) which involved lying on the floor while the instructor hurled himself upon me week after week. I didn't even notice until someone commented that it was a bit unusual.

Please, all youth instructors, No.