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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed with daft teenage daughter because she refuses to wear a coat

104 replies

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 09:27

I mean for crying out loud, look at the frost on the ground

EVERY MORNING

me: where's your coat
dd: oh muuuum it's OK
me: get your coat
dd: but i will have to carry it round with me and I can't be bothered
me: it is FREEZING I have just scraped ice of the windscreen you are NOT going to school with no coat
dd: it's not even COLD mum I will be FINE
me: you will catch your death of cold
dd: I have got a t shirt underneath my shirt that will keep me warm
me: oh for god's sake

EVERY morning. Why do I bother. NONE of the kids at her school ever wear a coat. Bloody teenagers.

OP posts:
BeenBeta · 21/10/2010 10:04

soppy - DW grew up in Newcastle and she says no one takes a coat because you have to pay to put them in the coatcheck in nigtclubs.

I still think the locals are utterly mad though when we go and vsit PILs in December and the blokes are walking about in short sleeves and girls in summer dresses and no tights.

harassedinherpants · 21/10/2010 10:07

Both my ds's were the same!! They're both over it now though at 19 & 21. Ds1 is a roofer with my dh and he is most definitely wrapped up lol.

I wouldn't bother tbh, just stressing yourself out. If she wants to be cold, that's her look out. I do think the schools have a lot to answer for though, as there is just nowhere to leave coats. Ds's school didn't have lockers either so they would have had to carry books and coat around.

I love that dd is 4, and went off all wrapped up this morning although now dreading all this all over again Shock.

HauntingTheTardis · 21/10/2010 10:08

When I was at senior school (back in the Dark Ages) you could leave your coat in the cloakroom and it would still be there when you got back! It seems that that is no longer the case - ds1's highly selective grammar school (when we lived in England) had cloakrooms, but you had to put a chain through the arm of the coat and padlock it back to itself (with a padlock you had to provide) otherwise there was no guarantee it would be there when you got back again.

At the dses current school I don't even think there is a cloakroom - and this is in Scotland, where it does get a bit chilly and rainy occasionally!

LoveBeingAMardyBum · 21/10/2010 10:09

pmsl this is when you feel old i think.

Vallhalloween · 21/10/2010 10:20

Ahem! GetOrfMoiLand! Ahem!

Cooo-eeee!

I um... I errrm... I recognise that "don't need a coat" conversation all too well.

And so I'm sorry to worry you but I think somehow when you did the school run yesterday afternoon you must have picked up my 15 year old daughter by mistake. :o :o

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 10:23

Grin val

I think middle aged motherhood sets in when you find yourself actually saying the words 'you will catch your death of cold' without trace of irony/fake yorkshire accent.

What does that saying actually mean?

OP posts:
invisibleink · 21/10/2010 10:24

Oh dear. This thread is scary...my FIVE year old is refusing his coat... so do I bother forcing him or do logical consequences??

proudnscary · 21/10/2010 10:25

Teenager don't wear coats.

I never believed a coat would give me extra warmth until I had an epiphany at the age of 20 when I put a coat on and, errr, it gave me extra warmth.

Save your breath.

LilRedWG · 21/10/2010 10:28

invisible - DD is 4.5 and wears her coat as she hates the cold, but she did go through a phase when she was two or three of refusing her coat. TBH I just said okay and carried it - within two minutes she was asking for it.

I won't fight when she's a teenager - if she wants to freeze, that's her choice.

mummynumber2 · 21/10/2010 10:36

I think your teenager must go to the same school as my DSD. She drives me mad! Point blank refuses to wear a coat,even when it was snowing last year. We've just come to the conclusion that it's her choice but it's completly barmy!

Think the issue is that they don't have lockers big enough or anywhere elso to store them all day so they have to carry them around all day.

mayorquimby · 21/10/2010 10:38

"EVERY morning. Why do I bother"

No idea. YABU it's up to her if you get cold

buttonmoon78 · 21/10/2010 10:41

DD1 (13) refuses to wear a coat so I haven't mentioned it since the snows of Feb/March. I have better things to do.

BUT... DD2 (10) won't take hers off. She wears it whilst watching telly. I even caught her with it in bed the other night!

It is rather lovely - scarlet with fuschia lining but even so! I worry it'll start smelling so I wrestle her out of it and wash it from time to time...

buttonmoon78 · 21/10/2010 10:42

Oh, and I've bought them both some thermals. DD1 can wear hers negating the need for a coat. DD2 can wear hers negating the need for a coat in bed Hmm

TheSmallClanger · 21/10/2010 10:51

There's nowhere to hang coats at Tiny Clanger's school either. She has her jacket on when I leave her at the bus stop - I have no idea whether she wears it, leaves it somewhere or shoves it in her bag after that.

I spent my teenage years being forced to wear awful, square, sensible coats with hoods, which were no use because I hardly ever wore them. I have been quite lax with allowing Tiny Clanger to have a raincoat and a fleece instead of a coat, although we do live in the countryside and that's what most non-old people wear.

AbsofCroissant · 21/10/2010 10:55

Yeah, I don't get why you're wasting energy on this. Trillians right - she's older enough to be left home alone if she gets ill, so let her freeze.

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 21/10/2010 10:59

I know.

I think it is just auto-nagging now, like my moaning about the state of her bedroom, glasses being put in the sink, her theiving my knickers.

Oh well. Will leave it tomorrow just to see the look of shock on her face Grin

OP posts:
AbsofCroissant · 21/10/2010 11:03

Well, you are her mother. If you're not going to nag her, who will? Grin

TrillianSlasher · 21/10/2010 13:05

It is your job to nag her, and it our job to say 'oh just leave it' Grin

girlywhirly · 21/10/2010 13:14

Two more odd things I have observed on teenagers; wearing a scarf but no coat on cold days, and on hot days, wearing boots and leggings!

Actually, my dad used to tell me a story from when he was a teen. A crowd of them went to a dance one winter's night. When they left at the end of the night, one of the lads walked home with his jacket slung over his shoulder because he was hot. He was wearing a shirt and vest under. The next day he had a raging fever, and became seriously ill, eventually developing pneumonia from which he died.

While he didn't "catch his death of cold", it obviously didn't help. He was hot from the dancing and alcohol, which dilated his blood vessels, then he went out into the cold which made him lose body heat rapidly while his circulatory system tried to constrict the vessels and conserve heat. He may well have been incubating a respiratory infection, and as his immune system was compromised, it developed into something serious. Needless to say, my dad and his mates were terrified into dressing appropriately for the weather temperature!

You could talk about the effects of cold on the body, hypothermia, frostbite, etc. to validate your requests to wrap up. Ultimately you might as well not bother, teens only do what they want, not what is good for them!

AttilaTheMeerkat · 21/10/2010 13:19

There is nowhere to leave coats in my son's secondary school either (and there still won't be thanks to their funding for the new school buildings being cancelled!).

HauntingTheTardis · 22/10/2010 23:48

I checked with ds1 today - his school does not have a cloakroom at all. So they'd have to cart their coats round all day.

stoatsrevenge · 23/10/2010 00:06

Chill. No teenagers wear coats. Did you?

HauntingTheTardis · 23/10/2010 00:56

I did - but we had a school that was on two sites, and we had to walk between the two. Plus my dad used to drop me off at school at 8.20am so I didn't have to get the school bus (where I got bullied), and I had to wait outside school until the doors opened.

Plus, my mum told me to wear a coat, and she had one of those Looks that made you tremble and obey! She still does.

seeker · 23/10/2010 01:34

And getting cold does not make you ill. It makes you cold.

Germs and viruses make you ill.

Two different things.

bruxeur · 23/10/2010 01:43

Not entirely true.