to want my DC to only have wooden toys? (Or is this a case of PFB Syndrome?)

[LovestoLove]

I don't think I'm generally PFB - I want my child to respect adults, eat with no fussing/faddiness (or at least no reaction on my part), have no quibbles about the step, won't give copious amounts of juice/biscuits, won't give into tantrums, etc.

But I really have a thing about the bucket loads of plastic toys that I fall over when at friends' homes.

I love wooden toys/puzzles, books, cloth dolls, make-believe things, fancy dress, etc.

Is it totally unreasonable of me to ask parents, in-laws, and anyone else who's expressed interest in getting a baby gift to get something wooden/natural? I know wooden toys are generally seen as more expensive but I've found some on Ebay and other sites that aren't bad.

Or am I going to be seen as crazy? I'm 30 weeks pregnant by the way with DC1.

wow BALD i just read as i prepared to type !!

i think i love you too arses

too soon we will be hearing 'first day of half term and AAARRRGHH'

and

'when are they going back to school'

children are rays of sunshine and i truly don't know where i'd be without mine, - but yes, i would have preferred mine to have loved the naturally resourced bear full of traditional character than the ghastly purple unicorn from tescos.

Thats because its true arses, you cannot predict what your child will be like, they will have their own personality and tastes and I am afraid that you as a parent will be largely dictated by them. When I was pg with dd I wanted to bf and use re usable nappies, did not turn out like that, I had to resort to formula and to disposables due to bad eczema on my hands. Dd perferred the plastic tat to my woodern toys, its what all the other children she knows is playing with. Just go with the flow and have an open mind.

Of course you can dream when you are a parent but you have to accept that your DC isn't an extension of you-they may be nothing like you at all -you have to wait and see. You may well love classic wooden toys but they may like plastic tat. It extends to other things-you may have planned for them to go to University and be a doctor-they may wish to be a zoo keeper, you may think they will be a vegetarian, they may not agree. By all means dream but accept that is all it may be.

I find it a bit strange that OP is so keen on wooden over plastic toys - I was always on the hunt for the toys I saw most kids seem to have and love, or brands that are really great for early development. Really, just get ready to be excited to see your child's wonder at the world, at whatever is in his/her hands, whether it's pink or blue!!

And not to be dark or anything, my DD was sick in her first year and had to spend a lot of time in hospital. You have no idea how wonderful the playrooms are at Gt Ormond St, full of plastic AND wood. Really, you want your child to be happy and stimulated, no matter what, don't you? So don't worry about whether they get given plastic, let them choose what they love!

I would just be grateful that you are getting lots of gifts. I gave a "guidance list" at my baby shower because most of my friends didn't have babies and had never been to a shower. The only thing I specified I didn't want was stuffed toys, because I know they multiply, take up room, and don't get played with that much (except for the favourites) - and lo, 2 yrs in, I have a bag of soft toy rejects that I can't quite bring myself to get rid of. Whatever you don't want, you will get given. So really, don't bother stipulating what you want. And good luck!

And by the way, when they've got playmobil and there's all those little bits and they make up like, a complete set, like everything is there as on the instruction booklet (which must be kept) and they keep bluddy losing bits 'so where are the binoculars!!'

It honestly keeps me awake at night that it may have fallen through that knot in the wood of the floor!!

Adults love classic wooden toys so it isn't surprising-I much prefer them. However DCs are likely, if given free choice,to go for plastic tat!

OP I think what you are actually hankering after is not the material of toy, you are hoping for more simple toys. Those which fire the imagination without going 'beep beep, well done!' constantly. And I can totally understand that.

Whether you'll get it or not is a different matter. But try and get some balance and you can discretely recycle the worst monstrosities (it's amazing how the really irritating toy always breaks and cannot be fixed when sent to the toy hospital ).

I suggest you go have a look at IKEA toys btw, they are generally well made, either wood or tasteful plastic/fabric and have good play value.

My daughter has a truly terrifying plastic horse head in her wardrobe. I put it there because it frightens me. I bought wooden toys from a fricking Steiner School winter pagan-fest fayre for her!

GeorgeOsborne loves arses

And that's all I've got to say about that.

If I had to choose between a plastic ball flung at a sibling and a wooden one......

"I don't think I'm generally PFB - I want my child to respect adults, eat with no fussing/faddiness (or at least no reaction on my part), have no quibbles about the step, won't give copious amounts of juice/biscuits, won't give into tantrums, etc.

But I really have a thing about the bucket loads of plastic toys that I fall over when at friends' homes. "

Sorry, I just don't understand this OP.

OP says she does not think she is PFB.....and then proceeds to provide a veritable laundry list of the naive, optimistic, plain silly ideas that people have BEFORE having children / just having one PFB.

And she says all this like she's the only one! Did anyone of us dream of raising DC who disrespect adults? or fuss endlessly over the right brand of yoghurt / the correct shape of pasta / the unbroken biscuit etc?

No, we all start off with these kind of high ideals and then reality sets in.

Most toddlers are going to point blank refuse to say a polite "good morning" to their grandparents at some stage. Deal with it.

Most toddlers go through a picky food stage. It's a developmental stage. Deal with it.

Most toddlers are attracted to poorly made, illuminated, noisy plastic tat. Deal with it.

YABU and you are being naive.

LovestoLove - firstly congratulations.

Toys: YANBU to prefer wooden toys at all but you will end up with plastic, plastic everywhere.

I work in childcare too and I just wanted to share how this 'knowledge' made me feel. I beat myself up over everything because i knew the text book way of doing it, it worked with other peoples children and i struggled with why it didn't work with my Ds. For example, could get any baby to sleep at nursery, had all the answers when a parent asked for support with night sleeping etc. My DS didn't sleep through consistently for nearly 2yrs. Food -another example, i was not going to give into food faddiness, but when it was my child that hadn't eaten all day i felt very different. You may be different to me but my expectations of my parenting style (fuelled by my job) actually in my opinion made me depressed. Just be wary of expecting your childcare background to be a help, i found it a hinderance in all honesty because the way you react to others children is different to how you feel when its your own. Hopefully you will find it easy than me but just wanted to flag it up to you.

Best wishes for your impending arrival.

Parenting is so much easier if you don't have fixed ideas about what your child or your parenting will be like. Be prepared to go with the flow of what you are actually like as a parent and what your child is actually like before setting yourself any hard and fast rules.

And that's my advice (at the risk of pissing off arses and her groupies).

And again, if you're really not interested in what other more experienced parents have to share, why the fuck bother posting here in the first place? Honestly, I don't get it.

Sorry if this has already been said, but (all together now):

Hello, puppy calling, would you like to play with me? Let's have fun together while we learn our ABC! [hgrin]

OP, I hope you never have to hear this tune. It strikes fear into the heart of many MNers.

Hi OP. 12 months ago I was of exactly the same opinion as you. In fact, I still kind of am and have some lovely wooden non-too-garish things for DS. I succombed to plastic fairly quickly and DS in particular ADORED his hideous hideous hideous plastic, musical mobile (I still feel ill thinking about how hideous it is). But, I could leave him under it for 20 minutes while I had a shower/cup of tea etc when he was 2-3 months old and I just needed a break. It was a life saver. It taught me two things: 1) that plastic can definitely have its benefits and b) once it is in the house, you have lost control! So, I will buy plastic, but I also make very conscious decisions not to buy too much - and I loved the PP point about one-in-one-out. I'll be doing that as DS gets bigger.

FWIW my mum abhored dolls and plastic tat. I had very little like that. I remember wanting various dolls over the years because friends had them and I didn't get them - toys I remember are a wooden train set, some wooden pull along things, a few teddies, and a garden to play out in. Never had a barbie or anything similar even though I asked for them of course. Looking back it made not a jot of difference to me as a kid, even if I felt hard done to every now and again (as all kids do!)

You will love your child and make whatever decisions feel right at the time based on that fact. You'll definitely do things that right now you can't imagine yourself doing (dummies? moi? never...... ). But if you have principles or preferences there's no need to cave on them just because others disagree.

Plan Toys are good by the way.

But why wouldnt you want an all singing all dancing electric guitar that blasts out noise music with no volume control and has super fiddly cool sunglasses that flash??

Just wated to comment on the pink thing. I also didn't want my dd (and us) to end up living in a pink house. I'd seen my sil end up like this and tbh I thought she loved it, but after splitting with her dh and moving out I noticed there was no pink in the new house and she told me she'd always hated it... she did a good impression of the opposite for a l-o-n-g time... Anyway I knew I didn't want a house like hers and assumed it would be nigh on impossible to not have.

But, it's actually really easy not to have a pink house. Dd is now 10 months and she has a few pink things, like one of the keys on her ELC keyring if pink, but otherwise everything is just in bright primary colours. Not hard to get hold of at all!

Clothes however... I buy most of dd's clothes at supermarkets as they're cheap and cheerful and don't necessitate a trip into the centre of town. I never wanted her to have absolutely nothing in pink, it's an OK colour, I just didn't want everything she owns to be the same. Unfortunately most supermarkets (and especially Sainsbury's) seem to want us all to have colour coded children. So we have a lot of pink T-Shirts...
and quite a few boys' clothes too

burningcakey

Was there really any need for that? FFS

Grey That is exactly the type of sanctimonious shite I was talking about when I quoted the 10%.

I did not ask for opinions on whether my approach to parenting was going to be ineffective, not to everyones' taste, or that it was my idea in the first place .

I asked if I was being unreasonble to want my child to have wooden toys.

BTW Greythorne aren't we supposed to be helpful on here? Saying 'deal with it' is not very helpful or constructive! Especially to a 30-weeks pregnant woman who's had problems conceiving and is thrilled to be joining the parenthood club! Count me out if you're going to tell me all this just because you've been there and think it's your right to tell me off for wanting my child to be well-behaved!!

"George Osborne loves arses"

thats how political rumours start

Toys are what I do for a job.
I play with very young children with SN ranging from moderate to severe.

The material a toy is made of is irrelevant [well unless its made of plutonium - there I draw the line]

Its what the toy does or rather what it encourages the child to do that counts.

I have seen ethically sourced wooden jigsaws aimed at preschoolers that are rubbish. Awkward shapes, the 'hole' doesnt give any clues as to which bit goes where, teeny handles on the peices, pictures that appeal to artistic adults but hold no fascination for small children etc etc

And I have seen really well thought out plastic, bright red, shiney things that will encourage a child to move towards it, roll over to look at it or [even better] laugh their head off when it makes a stupid noise.

There are crap plastic toys, there are great ones.

You need to work out what you want the toy to be, an ornament for you or a fun learning opportunity for your child.

burningcake-you sound like my kinda gal. 'let's wiggle'!!

Side note - woohoo first time one of my threads has been on discussions of the day

Just for you littledawley "Twisting. Turning. Round and round!" [hgrin]