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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want my DC to only have wooden toys? (Or is this a case of PFB Syndrome?)

632 replies

LovestoLove · 20/10/2010 16:18

I don't think I'm generally PFB - I want my child to respect adults, eat with no fussing/faddiness (or at least no reaction on my part), have no quibbles about the step, won't give copious amounts of juice/biscuits, won't give into tantrums, etc.

But I really have a thing about the bucket loads of plastic toys that I fall over when at friends' homes.

I love wooden toys/puzzles, books, cloth dolls, make-believe things, fancy dress, etc.

Is it totally unreasonable of me to ask parents, in-laws, and anyone else who's expressed interest in getting a baby gift to get something wooden/natural? I know wooden toys are generally seen as more expensive but I've found some on Ebay and other sites that aren't bad.

Or am I going to be seen as crazy? I'm 30 weeks pregnant by the way with DC1. Grin

OP posts:
runningrach · 20/10/2010 17:07

Sorry for double post!

piscesmoon · 20/10/2010 17:08

Really PFB! Think of the DC -and they love plastic.
I think that people have to forget what pleases them as an adult and go for play value for the DC. Half the time you don't need toys anyway, they can get endless fun out of a bowl of clothes pegs, a cardboard box or a saucepan and wooden spoon.

HauntingTheTardis · 20/10/2010 17:08

Where there are good-quality wooden alternatives, why not have them, if you can afford them. We had a second hand plastic toy kitchen for the dses, and I have seen pictures of wooden ones, complete with lovely pans etc and drooled over them!

In reality, though, I don't think you are going to be able to keep plastic at bay throughout your dc's childhoods. I don't think you can say to everyone that they can only buy toys made of wood/natural fibres, and some would ignore you anyway.

It is also worth remembering that plastic is often lighter than wood, and so can be easier for little hands to manipulate/lift.

And if you have daughters, they are going to want dolls, and the vast majority of those are plastic - and though I have no firsthand experience, having only dses, I think you would find that most little girls want Barbie and all her stuff - and you may be able to resist to some extent (ie, not have the Barbie curtains, wallpaper, gazebo, shoes, tops, duvet cover, school bag and flask, but only have the dolls and their clothes), but you are pretty likely to end up with some.

I can think of a lot of plastic toys, too - where there aren't wooden/natural alternatives - balls, tennis racquets, bubble blowing kits, lego and duplo, model dinosaurs, fireman helmets, model kits (airfix etc), tiaras, technology toys (cd players, keyboards, anything with a computer chip) - I'm sure there is more.

Perhaps the best suggestion is to invest in attractive storeage for your dc's toys - one of those chests with wicker drawers perhaps, or a lovely wooden toy chest or a big wicker basket - so at least it can look reasonable when it is all packed away.

IngridFletcher · 20/10/2010 17:10

runninggrach...I didn't say I would buy it either. But once the child gets to a certain age they remember what they want for xmas. My DS2 wants a yellow plastic JCB that makes a noise that he saw in the toy shop window. I don't think it comes in a wooden version.

piscesmoon · 20/10/2010 17:12

Post back in 2 years time LovestoLove and let us know how you are getting on. I thought that a baby was a doddle before I had one-unfortunately have minds of their own! I wish you luck with eating without faddiness and lack of tantrums-it will be pure luck rather than anything on your part.

TeaOneSugar · 20/10/2010 17:14

Are you my SIL?

She's got some lovely ideas as well Grin

shower · 20/10/2010 17:14

lovestolove I'm not so worried about the toy choices but I think you need to open your eyes a little bit. Have you looked in the other topics about behaviour/parenting/sleep/tantrums etc etc?
It's a nice idea to think that if you are a "good" parent then your child will behave but it honestly isn't like that.
We all hope for the perfectly behaved child and it does happen, but I think it's rare!!!

CommanderCool · 20/10/2010 17:16

awwww

LovestoLove · 20/10/2010 17:16

I'm hoping not to have many of the 'techno toys' you mentioned, Haunting. I am a girl and loathed Barbie so it is possible to have a Barbie-free girl household, although fully aware DC (if a girl OR a boy) might like them!

Balls are okay but they wouldn't be for playing in the house anyway. Tennis raquets won't be used for ages!! I'll stick to the regular bubble wand rather than the huge kit (IME they get messy/mucky/unusable very quickly), and as I said before dress-up / fancy dress items (like fireman hats and tiaras) are fine with me.

Model kits are easier to contain and I'm thinking are 7 or 8+? So will be fine at that age since he can tidy them away himself Grin. We have a large wicker basket we intend to use for a toybox for now. Hopefully won't have more than that!!

OP posts:
LovestoLove · 20/10/2010 17:17

Where did I say my child would never have tantrums or be perfectly behaved??? I find that a large leap from what I actually did say - that I wouldn't give in to such things like tantrums and food faddiness.

OP posts:
JinnyS · 20/10/2010 17:18
Bumblingbovine · 20/10/2010 17:18

DS use to bang and throw his toys so tbh I'd rather he did that with plastic ones than wooden ones (owww!)

piscesmoon · 20/10/2010 17:21

I said wait and see LovetoLove! I always ignore tantrums but it isn't easy and food faddiness depends on the DC. I sorted it in the end but only after trial and error with DC1.
I had lots of theories before I started. Wait and see what your DC likes in the way of toys. Maybe you will have one who loves Barbies-they are not you.
It all hinges on the personality of your unborn baby-an unknown quantity.

LadyBaiter · 20/10/2010 17:22

I felt exactly the same as you when I was pregnant with DC1

LovestoLove · 20/10/2010 17:23

pisces that was in response to showers sorry for mixup.

OP posts:
LadyBaiter · 20/10/2010 17:23
overmydeadbody · 20/10/2010 17:23

The thing to remember, Love, is that you may be able to have lots of lovely wooden toys suitable for babies and toddlers, but once they are 5, 6, 7 and older, they need more complex toys, and because of this those toys are usually constructed out of plastic and metal.

You have to accept that wooden isn't always best, and plastic isn't always evil.

My brother was obsessed with dinosaurs when little, and consequently had humdreds of toy plastic dinosaurs. I don't think wooden ones would have cut it.

And my DS, well, like a lot of boys, my DS is and has always been obsessed with vehicles. There is no way he would have been satisfied with a few wooden cars. He has hundreds of metal toy cars, trucks, lorries, and every other vehicle you can think of. They are his most important toys.

And I never gave in to tantrums either. Never had a terrible twos phase. Smugly thought it was my parenting. But maybe it is just DS's personality.

piscesmoon · 20/10/2010 17:24

Sorry-maybe I am a bit unkind-it is only because I had similar views before DCs! RL doesn't turn out as you imagine. (spoken by an anti gun mother whose DS made them out of toast!)

runningrach · 20/10/2010 17:24

I don't think it's just a material issue with plastic toys - at least it isn't for me. I don't like excess indulgence of children with any type of toys (whats wrong with a controllable quantity?). I prefer to minimise my personal waste by buying a few quality items made to last (whether toys, clothes, furniture etc) than many cheaply made items that are made to end up in landfill.

I do have many excellent plastic things in my house, some of which have served me well for many years. Sometimes cost and availability is an overriding factor too. I intend to try and pass on some of my personal values to my child, whether I'm successful or not is not the issue but I believe it's the best I can do.

Anyway I'm wandering way off topic here, I guess that is idle hands/brain from starting maternity leave!

overmydeadbody · 20/10/2010 17:25

What I mean, RE the tantrums, is that DS never had one, so I never had to deal with one, was never put in a position of giving in to one or not. I'd say that's more DS's personality.

Bumblingbovine · 20/10/2010 17:25

Plus ds went did tend to hit other children sometimes so I preferred him to play with "lighter" toys IYSWIM for the odd occassion I didn't catch him in time Blush

I found myself smiling sweetly at the people who gave me lovely wooden toys when ds was toddler and then hiding them away.

I didn't give a monkeys if a toy made a noise either because it was more likely to hold ds's attention and at that age anything that held his attention for more than 2 mins was alright by me

LovestoLove · 20/10/2010 17:26

rach Thanks for succintly summing up some of my points. There's the environmental factor which is big for me, and I agree with whatever poster said that washing up bowl & cups, wooden spoons, etc. were just as much fun - I totally agree! But I don't think it's reasonable to expect my child to have no toys - but I don't see what's wrong with them being of a controllable quantity an ethical materials, as rach put it better than me.

OP posts:
mrswoodentop · 20/10/2010 17:27

Having had to deal with a splinter in the lip (and thumb on another occaision accually)from a piece of Brio my PFB wooden toys fetish was put into perspective.
We do have wooden toys but my house is/was awash with lego other good plastic toys included a pull along green plastic turtle shape sorter much beloved by ds1 at the time and a plastic road and rail mountain set with plastic cars quite tasteful colours actually!Also the large yellow construction toys referred to above my nine year old still plays with them!

Please don't make too many rules in advance in my experience it just causes more heartache .My eldest who was only fed home made organic food turned into the most awful fussy eater for 10 years (not sure why did the whole putting it in front of him no comment etc)he's now 17 and will eat anything.DS3 had whatever was going and continues to eat...Just try to go with the flow to start with

overmydeadbody · 20/10/2010 17:27

I agree running. quality not quantity.

We have a one in one out policy in this house. Makes DS really think about whether he needs a new toy and whether he needs to hang on to old ones.

piscesmoon · 20/10/2010 17:27

I never gave into a single one either and DS had lots! It is personality. I find that people often have one DC who is perfectly behaved and they think it is all down to their parenting style, until along comes DC2 who breaks every rule in the book!