to want my DC to only have wooden toys? (Or is this a case of PFB Syndrome?)

[LovestoLove]

I don't think I'm generally PFB - I want my child to respect adults, eat with no fussing/faddiness (or at least no reaction on my part), have no quibbles about the step, won't give copious amounts of juice/biscuits, won't give into tantrums, etc.

But I really have a thing about the bucket loads of plastic toys that I fall over when at friends' homes.

I love wooden toys/puzzles, books, cloth dolls, make-believe things, fancy dress, etc.

Is it totally unreasonable of me to ask parents, in-laws, and anyone else who's expressed interest in getting a baby gift to get something wooden/natural? I know wooden toys are generally seen as more expensive but I've found some on Ebay and other sites that aren't bad.

Or am I going to be seen as crazy? I'm 30 weeks pregnant by the way with DC1.

Tori, what's not creative about markers, crayons, a megasketcher (sorry to keep banging on about this item btw), lego, plastic farm and jungle animals, dinos, polyester dress-up clothes and shoes, recorders, even electronic keyboards the list goes on and on and on. Just because an item is commercialised and mass produced doesn't mean it can't teach something worthwhile. Even the dratted Polly Pockets (birthday party gift) taught the DDs to get over hoovered up-- lost toys and toy accessories and move on with their lives, and that some things may look good on TV but they're not always as delightful when it comes to playing with them.

I don't see that many children tantrumming wildly over the latest stuff anywhere either.

I would opt for the play value and whatever caught the child's fancy, personally. As someone said upthread, the toys are for the children, not the grown ups.

If you control all the toys that come into the house how does your DC work out which are best for themselves? I think it is quite good to find out that cheap toys break easily and are not very interesting once they have done the one thing they do. It is far more valuable for the DC discover it, than be told it.
I get the impression that those who have strict control have preschool DCs and have it all pretty much their own way.
There have been no answers to 3 questions-that will come up unless you HE and handpick the friends.

1. What do you do when DC has pocket money or birthday money and wants to buy the latest plastic craze?
2. What do you do at the birthday party where DCs get at least 6 presents that you think naff?
3. What is the difference in play value to the DC between a wooden Noah's Ark and a plastic Noah's Ark?

sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/2009/04/finnians-montessori-room.html

Is this your blog op? Snurk

What a beautiful room! I would love one like that for me. But it will be a pity when little Finnian crawls out of bed one day, pulls of his nappy and smears poo over the walls, climbs up on his little table to scatter tissues around the room and then smash the mirror with his brush. He might then go and pull all the low placed pictures off the walls and drag them around a bit and bang them together. The lantern would probably make a nice smashing noise too. And then he could toddle off to the hall cupboard and ransack it to get to all his rotated toys.

Hahaha great blog. I'm wondering if she's put enough thought and effort into the room though.

All I can say is poor Finnian-he is going to have a mother with huge control issues-I hope for his sake that he can live up to her expectations.
I would find her one scary mother-in fact that room will haunt me all day-I wish that I hadn't looked! Had it not occurred to her that he doesn't need a room yet, she has no idea of his personality, she doesn't know his likes and dislikes when he is old enough to have a room and it is all about her.
I have just read all the gushing comments on the room and was wondering whether she would post my honest opinion when I saw that comments were closed.However I bet you are only allowed to comment if you thing she is wonderful. I found it profoundly upsetting.

I have asked my Noah's Ark question 3 times and no one has answered it-so I will assume that the wooden one is more aesthetically pleasing to the adult unless someone tells me differently. (Not a good reason for buying DC toys IMO). I would actually buy the wooden version myself but I wouldn't get upset if Granny got a plastic one.

I have to say that the room was lovely! It was just the fact that it was for a child that she doesn't know yet and has no room for his personality when he is old enough. She has it planned through until he is at least 5yrs old.(I hope that she has a little rebel).

Think she is wonderful not thing-sorry.

Pices - I missed your question about wooden v plastic animals/dinosaurs - sorry. However, I agree with you - wooden ones are lovely, but the plastic ones have just as much play value - and often much more detail than is possible on a wooden one.

My jaw dropped as I read some of that blog - and I tried to picture any one of my boys living in there without utterly wrecking it (either with poo/tissues/careless play as suggested further up), or by desperately wanting, and getting, lots of toy cars and other toys that clash with the decor.

Though ds2's habit, when young, of picking his nose, and wiping the bogeys off on the wall by the bed would have matched the nice olive greens in the room .....

piscesmoon - the reason I began by thinking wooden toys were better was because I bought the idea that more 'natural' stuff was better for children, because I felt that the very bright, noisy plastic things was something of an assault on young eyes and ears. I have no scientific basis for thinking this is intrinsically harmful, however...

There is clearly also a school of thought that the simplicity of wooden toys forces children to be MORE imaginative than detailed plastic toys, which I don't particularly believe. As I said in an earlier post, though, some things suit being wood, some don't.

This thread reminds of my SIL.
She decided to hand down a set of books to my dcs. Type of thing you get in a book club, 4 or 5 thin hardback books on animals in a cardboard case.

She carefully showed them to DS and said look how beautifully J had kept them. Her other ds who was by then in his teens piped up "that's because he wasn't allowed to read them"
Books and toys are meant to be read and played with not looking nice on a shelf.

Lol, I have that argument with my husband - he wants books kept neat, whereas I don't mind if DS messes them up and rips a couple of pages, as long as he's actually reading and enjoying them.

I actually follow that blog - I'd never seen that far back though! Her son is pretty much exactly as she anticipated, go to the more recent entries. It's enough to give you a real inferiority complex!

Actually - check out this recent entry for an update on his things! sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/2010/10/finns-corner.html

sigh.....I vividly remember my ds1's xmas gift when he was 18 months old.....I got him a wooden pull along train with his name on (at great expense!) I was so pleased with it and thought he would love it....

...xmas morning came along and he took the train out of the gift bag, put the train on the floor, the gift bag on his head and ran around pretending to be a robot

YOU may like wooden toys. BUT how would you have felt about them as a child???? Wouldnt you have wanted the latest toys/gadgets that your friends had????

Good luck!!!

Polishing. OMG. Mind you - I'd have killed for a play kitchen like that. But does she have staff, or does she spend every waking minute rushing round keeping it gorgeous? Or is the rest of the house a tip? [hopeful emoticon]

YABU

I think it is a bit rude to request such a thing. It is more expensive and not everybody shops on ebay. Also your child is his own person and may like plastic stuff. If you get too many toys, put some in storage or donate some.

My sister requested the same thing. I played it safe and sent her some nice cute practical clothing. She never phoned up to say thank you or even sent a thank you card! I have a suspicion she didn't like them as they weren't home made/organic.

We've had similar ideas to the OP. DD is now almost 2, and we told our families at the outset that we were "trying to avoid plastic toys as far as possible".

We do have lego, some cars, bath toys and stacking cups.

I would disagree with the posters who say wooden toys are necessarily more expensive - maybe like for like, but if you were looking for a present within any budget, you would be able to find one.

There are lots of really nice manufacturers out there (myriad, John Crane, Pintoy, Le Toy Van) and almost anything you can get in plastic can also be in wood.

One of the main reasons DH and I wanted to steer clear of wooden toys was for environmental reasons. So many old toys go into landfill it makes me angry. Have a look at [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVjue0R5tHQ
this video]] if you want to see what happens to the bits of broken plastic that get washed out to sea.

Wooden toys can be sanded down and repainted, yes they can easily be washed (just like a wooden chopping board!) if needed. In the worse case scenario, they can be used as firewood if they are totally wrecked!

Luckily for us, DH and I are both creative types and we make toys for DD. We wouldn't mind if friends or family bought plastic, but they mostly know that we are trying to avoid it... if in doubt, they go for books!

As for "play value" I think there is no greater play value to be had from a wooden toy than a similar one in plastic. It just depends if you are looking at the bigger picture. We are a trying to live a green life, and that extends to DD and her toys.

So no, OP I do not think YABU, but you have to expect others to think you are.

'The shelf is the finishing touch to what I lovingly refer to as "Finn's Corner." You're probably tired of seeing this this spot by now, but truly, it's the heart of Finn's practical, day-to-day experiences in our family.

I just copied and pasted this bit about poor Finn's little corner. Lovely from an adult point of view but why not just give him the ordinary dustpan and brush to help? Why isn't the home they all share at the heart-rather than being shuffled off to his own corner?
Thanks for attempting to answer my question MoChan-I think that if you have a DC that you have to force to be imaginative then they would do better with a helping hand and a plastic tiger that looks like a tiger. I can't see that even a highly imaginative DC would make a different game up depending on whether it is wooden or plastic-I don't even think they would care if they were mixed in the same ark.

About that sew liberated woman reminds me of the US blogger 'mango mama" earth mother from years ago. I think you can find updates if you google her.

She was a high efficient completely devoted earth mother (home schooled, homed birthed, organic ...everything). The story sadly ended with her abandoning her DH and children and have a mental health crisis. It helps remind me that glossy blog families aren't always so sparkly in real life.

Now that I have got over the shock of that room, I think that her blog is the most hilarious thing I have ever read on MN! Perhaps we should have nominations and award prizes!

OK, I have read some of that blog and am just off to throw up. Then I am going to tidy my plastic crap in my plastic house and carry on with my plastic life.

I wonder if it has occurred to her how limiting it is to have it all 'mummy directed' in the way that she has set it up. If he had a friend around they might easily use the mop and the broom as horses and gallop around-turning the whole play corner into a stable etc. The possibilities are endless, if she were to stop controlling and leave him alone. Is he ever given the chance to be bored?

Why does she talk like that? Its just not normal. Encounters with art? FFS

Its great that she is so great and happy and has a lovely house and child. She does sound like she is boasting though. Why do we need to know that the crayons are beeswax?

Good on them for cancelling their much needed holiday for the sake of their sick child. What amazing human beings.

Her stuff is lovely. She is very talented. I thought she was a confident person, sure of her life when I skimmed her blog. Now I am pretty sure she isnt.