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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To leave my 14month old alone??

29 replies

againandagain · 20/10/2010 10:21

Okay in reality not as bad as title hopefully!
Up stairs in my house I have one hallway which is about 15ft long and 5th wide. The four rooms and one bathroom come off of it. Whilst I have a quick bath (10-15mins) I shut all the doors to the rooms, lock the stair gate and leave dd in there with some toys. I have bathroom door unlocked but shut as I feel the bathroom is more dangerous than my hallway. I can hear her loud and clear and obviously if she cried I'd be out there in a shot!
Hallway has one plug socket which has a plastic cover thing and other than that it is a complete blank canvas. No pictures on Walls, nothing. I really feel it is safer than bathroom.
Am I being stupid and a terrible parent??

OP posts:

Lemonstartree · 20/10/2010 10:22

no, yanbu.

cupcakesandbunting · 20/10/2010 10:23

Yanbu.

asbolutelyfabulous · 20/10/2010 10:24

Sounds just like a big playpen really. YANBU.

Fel1x · 20/10/2010 10:26

Why dont you leave the bathroom door open though? I always have done the same but with the door open and the DCs always wander in and out and 'talk' to me, stand up beside the bath playing with bubbles etc while I bath. I feel more comfortable seeing what they are doing really and knowing that they can see me

laweaselmys · 20/10/2010 10:28

No of course not! DD is a bit older, but I leave her with cbeebies downstairs while I have a wash. Everything is secure downstairs, she'd have to be extremely inventive to hurt herself, and I'd hear.

perfumedlife · 20/10/2010 10:29

Agree with Fal1x, i left the door open and got used to our little chats.

YANBU

SkeletonFlowers · 20/10/2010 10:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cornflakequeenie · 20/10/2010 10:33

YANBU - my Ds is 8 months, so when I have a bath I shut the gate at the top of the stairs and he sits and plays in the bathroon whilst I'm in there, with the door open.

You're not a terrible parent!

5DollarShake · 20/10/2010 10:35

YANBU - we do similar.

Original poster

againandagain · 20/10/2010 10:36

Thanks guys! I told somebody the other day and they were horrified! Been too scared to tell anyone else!

Fel I shut the door because our cupboards are all at toddler level and contain cleaning products razors etc. Because the way they are designed u can't get locks for them and I can't even dunk my head in the bath as she will be in them. Also as she knows the bathroom is off limits so to speak she would not want anything to do with the toys but to just get in to the damn cupboards!! Can you tell this was a brilliant but unplanned pregnancy so we had a house designed for childless young professionals that we were?! All glass tables, open cupboards etc etc! If only we knew!!

OP posts:

Bumpsadaisie · 20/10/2010 11:23

YANBU. Of course not!

Depends a bit on the child of course and how kamikaze they are, but at 14 mths my DD had the whole run of the house with the stairgate open. She used to go up and downstairs. I know some friends' DS's who were perhaps too risk-takey to allow this sort of freedom to though - bless them, they wouldn't have stopped at the top of the stairs if they were excitedly chasing their tractor or sth. My DD is much calmer and seems to think carefully before most risky things.

Now she is 16 mths and very safe and confident. Her total injuries so far are: one scrape on her nose when she fell over in a supermarket car park.

I still say a prayer when I hear her coming downstairs though ...

Bumpsadaisie · 20/10/2010 11:24

PS we have no plug covers or door locks either. DD just doesn't seem all that interested.

Original poster

againandagain · 20/10/2010 12:42

Wow Bump! I thought I was easy going. We have stair gate at the top as like I said we use it as a bit of a holding pen! Not on the bottom as there us no banistair or wall until half way up, like I said great house for toddler! She has free range really but in the kitchen I have almost like a ground level cupboard with no front on it were I put things in nice bottles in!! So she would drag them out if allowed, also know lock on cleaning product cupboard!! So kitchen is no go! I let her do stairs if I am there. I think she maybe opposite to your dd! Fallen down stairs, cut herself, countless bumped heads. God I sound awful! Problem is she is not the least bit interested in toys or tv..

OP posts:

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 20/10/2010 12:47

You take fifteen minutes in the bathroom.

asbolutelyfabulous · 20/10/2010 12:52

again and again - your DD sounds very much like mine. Very kamikaze. Will not play with toys AT ALL. She loves technology, so iphones and ipods, digital cameras, remote controls, headphones - she will sit and play with them for minutes hours.
She also likes to bang her head against walls for some reason, haven't quite figured that one out yet.

headlessmummyoftwins · 20/10/2010 13:00

again have you thought about what you can do with the razors etc when your DD can reach the door handles (and therefore let herself into the bathroom?

Genuine question as we have a similar problem with our dining room (we store lots of glasses and alcohol there as our kitchen is tiny), where we can't use cupboard locks, and our DTs are the same age as your DD.

Angeliz · 20/10/2010 13:05

I don't think you're being unreasonable to have a bath but i think you really need to sort out the cupboards!
She'll soon be into everything and nothing will be off limits so i think you need to re-arrange dangerous stuff. Razors make me cringe, i have mine even now on top top shelf.
If you were a terrible Parent though you wouldn't be asking

KnitterNotTwitter · 20/10/2010 13:11

I always have my DS in the bath with me... Just thought I'd throw that into the mix...

dementedma · 20/10/2010 13:15

am i the only parent in the world NOT to ever have shared a bath with any of my kids? I just don't see the attraction! My bath, my body, my personal hygiene, my time!
Get your own bloody bath!

Whelk · 20/10/2010 13:19

Agree with Fel1x but you need to sort out childproofing your bathroom.
I've just come back from A and E where a little boy had swallowed aftershave and was having to have a liver biopsy

Bumpsadaisie · 20/10/2010 14:16

@ Again,

I bet DD does herself some horrendous injury now that I have tempted the Gods!

Bumpsadaisie · 20/10/2010 14:18

@ Demented -

Fair enough, each to their own!

But I love my almost nightly baths with DD. And I find that she gets my sole attention in the bath just before bed (can't take MN in the bath!!), it helps her calm down for bed.

SkeletonFlowers · 20/10/2010 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingIn · 20/10/2010 14:45

YANBU

Why did the loon friend think you were?

I'd do it with the bathroom door open too, but I can see why you don't?

Are you thinking of moving or just praying a lot??

Original poster

againandagain · 20/10/2010 15:24

Do share baths sometimes but her eczema means if I need to wash my hair with shampoo etc it's not possible.

Yes when she can reach door handles it will be an issue. Maybe I could just get a simple hook lock so she can't get in there unsupervised?

Also just to clarify she didn't get to razors as the are on very high window sill above the bath.
But she did manage to get to a little rub with dental floss and cut herself on the little sharp edge that cuts the floss. That is what freaked me out really...
Thanks for all the replies

OP posts:

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