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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to get angry when the mother kept saying 'she's ok' when her son knocked my DS down on the floor at the softplay, ok even i know it was an accident.

100 replies

baytree11 · 19/10/2010 15:11

ok, just came back from softplay, i am not a big fan but DD ( 23 mths) loves it, shes a very active toddler as its getting cold and still wet this morning so park wasnt an option. Anyway, a little accident today at the softplay, honestly, i understand accident does happen but what annoys me the most is softplay seems to be a groud full of irresponsible mums, sat there talk and eat and don't watch their kids...and i do notice some mean children around who have no idea what 'share' means.. also, what annoys me the most is they would order 'chicken nuggets & slush' for their children?? i mean, ok its softplay but they do have toastie and milk on the menu.

Anyway, a little boy probably same age as my DD, he accidentally knocked her down as she was walking and he was running towards her...I was like, shocked, it was really bad, i could hear a loud noise when she was knocked down and she cried really bad...now ..i wasn't too angry cos i know accident does happen, i was just very concerned if my DD's ok...what made me very angry was the mother of that little boy kept saying,'' oh, she's ok, i am sure she's alright'',

it's like she thinks my DS was just a softie, i know my DD!! i mean, i wouldn't have got so angry if she just simply said...i am terribly sorry, he didn't mean to, is she ok?? i would accept it, i wouldn't be so angry and i did believe that little boy didn't mean to. you know, sincere apology would go down better, don't you think so?

I didn't know what else to say to her, i just said 'jesus, kept shaking my head, that's terrible' honestly, i was and am still angry.

OP posts:

phipps · 19/10/2010 17:49

I suspect the mother said your daughter was okay because she thought she was and also to try and lessen the incident as she might have felt embarrassed what her child did.

You really should not care what other parents feed their children. It isn't your business. It doesn't affect you in any way and it does you no favours to be so judgemental.

Bucharest · 19/10/2010 17:55

Jamie "God" Oliver says nuggets are OK, so yep, YABU.

As for the rest, as you say, it was a little accident. The other mother sounded like she did more than enough apologising.

Looking forward to your AIBU when the boots on t'other foot. "dd knocked a toddler over and I apologised ever such a lot and this madwoman kept on at me saying "jesus" and being all stompy......."

phipps · 19/10/2010 18:14

Maybe if you had been watching you non gender specific child instead of the other mothers you would have been able to prevent the accident. Just a thought.

jonesy71 · 19/10/2010 18:47

yep I think it's been said you may have got more sympathetic responses if you hadn't been a tad snobby about the food, - when i'm out with the DC i tend to let them have food that causes the least mess and fuss - this doesn't reflect what they eat at home.

As for the incident, i get that what you are annoyed about was that she was telling you it's all fine your child was ok, - that's not for her to say, - it should go 'i'm so sorry my child bulldozed yours ' and you get to say 'she's ok'.

very annoying.

HowToShoutSoHusbandsWillListen · 19/10/2010 19:40

But the OP is still essentially:

My nearly two year old child collided with another two year old child. I was livid and just kept saying 'jesus, that's terrible'

GoreRenewed · 19/10/2010 20:18

TBH if someone kept saying 'Jesus that's terrible' over a minor accident I would think they were suffering from some sort of problem and would have spent my time desperately trying to calm them down

cfc · 19/10/2010 20:46

Gore - that's what I thought. No wonder she said that your DS/D (whatever) was ok in response to you saying 'Jesus, that's terrible'....she was trying to calm YOU down.

How strange.

withorwithoutyou · 19/10/2010 21:03

I can't imagine shaking my head and saying "jesus that's terrible" after my toddler had a minor accident because it would just upset my toddler.

Did this really happen? It sounds most odd.

Dansmommy · 19/10/2010 21:12

You sound like a complete loon. If this really happened, you need to see someone about your anxiety.

EightiesChick · 19/10/2010 21:13

Bucharest

"Jamie "God" Oliver says nuggets are OK, so yep, YABU"

Does he? Where and when did he say this? I have been under the impression that JO thinks the exact opposite, from that demonstration on one of the recent series about how all the most horrible disgusting bits are what go into processed chicken products.

mumeeee · 19/10/2010 21:13

YABU. She was trying to reassure you and alos reasure her little one. You shouldn't judge what food other parents buy for their Children. When my niece was a toddler she was very allergic to milk and would have been ill if she was given anything with milk in.

EightiesChick · 19/10/2010 21:17

Ah, the ever-popular 'don't get judgey over other parents' food' consensus. I'm always interested to know exactly how far people would really take this. Sure, it may be that sometimes people get excessively bothered about food choices, but some of the posts here - early ones especially - have been saying 'You shouldn't EVER judge anyone's food choices in any way EVER or you are a BAD PERSON'. Really, never ever? So if you knew someone who fed their kids crisps for breakfast, dinner and tea, and nothing else, most days, you would still think 'Oh well, it takes all sorts, mustn't judge'?

jonesy71 · 19/10/2010 21:27

op comments about food - wrong

op shaking head 'jesus that's terrible' - wrong

but

I have to think of the other day with my 3yo waiting in line to go into school to pick up my other child, - he was playing with another child in the line of around his age - all good fun then other child starts spitting at him them grabs his hood and takes him of his feet, - my child really upset, pride hurt more than anything and i was pretty cheesed off because suddenly the other child turned like this and i couldn't take us away from the situation. Now that child's mother was very apologetic (as rough as i thought she and her son were ) and made the child say sorry, had she brushed it off and told me my child was ok & fine without any apology, - yes i would have been annoyed, maybe not enough to post on here but, yes, worth at least a gggrrrrrr !

WitchyFlisspaps · 19/10/2010 21:33

I think the OP has gone for a cup of hot sweet tea.

StephanieSays · 19/10/2010 21:37

Hully said it best.

Morloth - soft play in chelsea? where? I am off to google...

lollipopshoes · 19/10/2010 21:38

eightieschick - I take your point, and yes, if we knew that someone was feeding their child crisps for breakfast, chocolate biscuits for dinner and chips every night for tea then judging them would p'raps be okay.

The points I and others were making (I think) were that you can't judge people who feed their children "crap" for one meal that you have witnessed. Without further information it is wrong to judge another parent's food choices.

When dd2 got out of hospital after not eating anything for aaaaaaages we took her out for some fresh air and she wanted crisps and coke for her dinner.

She got crisps and coke for her dinner.

Doesn't mean she is ever allowed crisps and coke for dinner under normal circs.

cleggy36 · 19/10/2010 21:49

This might attract some flak but that's a dodgy OP imo. Heaps of stuff to get people going (food criticism for the foodies, dodgy grammar for the pedants, DS/DD for everyone and definitely BU) and then no response. Seems to me most people who do that kind of OP can't wait to join in the bunfight.

Obviously I could be completely wrong.

StephanieSays · 19/10/2010 21:51

I think the op reads like english as a second language to me, not pedant fodder.

FlyingInTheCLouds · 19/10/2010 21:54

agree stephanie

TandB · 19/10/2010 22:38

Morloth - are you referring to Gambados by any chance?

Bucharest · 20/10/2010 07:00

Eightieschick, JO says it in the webchat and in his Jamie's Dinners book. (obviously he's not exactly talking KFC nugget buckets, but hand reared chickens that have been lovingly stroked at intervals by HFW before being made into nuggets but essentially chicken nuggets= not divil fodder) Thingummy, the Economy Gastronomy man says so too. And they both have fish fingers in the freezer

TubbyDuffs · 20/10/2010 07:25

Has the OP been back? Was that a trolling?

FindingMymOOOOOOOOjo · 20/10/2010 10:24

I think perhaps she ran away in horror (like I did when I first posted on AIBU - on the subject of leaving my 2.5 year old in the bath alone for 30 seconds while I went to the room next door - still have scars from the whipping)

"Stephanie" there is Gambardos at Imperial Wharf

StephanieSays · 20/10/2010 13:55

I was wondering if there was one in chelsea chelsea, guess Morloth must mean Gambados though.

FindingMymOOOOOOOOjo · 20/10/2010 14:58

someone mentioned going to a soft play pub on MN a while ago - do you think one would go down well in West London???? I think I know the perfect venue

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