To think that BOTH parents

[bratnav]

Should be informed and agree if their child is going to be photographed and featured in a national newspaper?

does dsd's mum know you have her photo on here?

DS3's photo could be circulated around the entire county if they go into his nursery to take photos for their Early Years leaflets like they usually do.

But her full name doesn't appear and it's a web forum profile not a newspaper story, very different surely?

And yes her mum does expect to be consulted on everything we do here, but we aren't allowed to ask about anything at her house. Eg. DSD complained about her mums DP sleeping all day when he was supposed to be looking after her, when we calmly and politely asked about it we were told it's none of our business, whereas when we moved house she went mad because DSD would be sharing the (biggest) bedroom with DD1.

I dont get this bit - by tellng US LOT who could be ANYONE, where to google to see the latest newspaper article, YOU have yourself exposed her to more publicity! that seems odd to me, no?

Yes she does know. I asked her permission.

you are coming across as picky now.....a quick search of your posts reveals ALOT about your family life!!!

alot more personal than what those national articles are about......and MN is worldwide too

I wouldn't let you have any say in the running of my household either (if you were my ex), but equally I wouldn't countenance it the other way.

If her father is unhappy he needs to address it with her mother, if he can't then he needs to seek advice as to whether this is something that can be legally addressed.

If whether it can be legally addressed is actually what you are asking here, then I would post in legal not AIBU.

well I can't even find the latest newspaper article

I found an article with no picture about pensions, and an article about the west coast line with a picture of a train

OTOH my name isn't on MN.....

on one thread alone you reveal name of place you live and your dd's name!!!

I don't understand why you tell us to google it. I don't understand why you make yourself identifiable by putting DSD's photo on here (identifiable in that if she's splashed 'all over national press' then we'll know her face).

Also, you keep saying 'national press' and repeating how DSD's mother 'gives interviews' in a way that makes it sound (a) like she's bloody Angelina Jolie and b) like you to some degree want in on the attention. It sounds like you take some degree of pleasure in it all.

Please note, I said it sounds that way: you reveal loads about your family life on here and then make it totally identifiable by linking to the Daily Mail article.

what is the problem with DS being in the paper? what harm is it doing to her?

sorry,. DSD

Bratnav: Your DP seems to think he has some kind of right to stop his XP doing something she (and presumably DC) want to do, because he doesn't like it. Tough titty - it's not harmful to the child so he just has to suck it up, I'm afraid.
I presume what she's doing is having a 15 minutes of flogging her 'My single mother hell because my XP is a prick' stories to the proleporn mags, which I agree must be maddening for your DP (though of course it may be that your DP is a controlling tosspot and he simply hasn't shown his nasty side to you yet...) but there is still nothing he can do about it unless she says things about him which are actively libellous. Or maybe she's a journo of the Polly Filler kind, in which case he still can't do anything about it unless she is actively libelling him.

For a simple photograph then no - no permission is required from either parent.

If the child is featured in a story then either adult can probably grant their permission but it depends on how "featured" the child is - a simple passing reference wouldn't need permission any more than Heat magazine needs 's permission to mention their kids. A direct feature involving an interview with said child probably would.

But as others have said, if it isn't libellous then there's nothing you can do.

Have I missed how old the child is? Has anyone asked her permission? I really hate the assumption that children can be paraded around reality telly, newspaper articles, Take a Break etc without any consideration for their rights and feelings, just because a parent - usually with a stonking great agenda - gives permission. Grrrrrr

Bratnav could you explain why you/your DH are unhappy with the situation?

You have asked if it is acceptable, I am guessing you think it is is not but I can't understand your rationale for feeling that way.

Do you have any particular concerns or do you/DH just not like being consulted?

At the risk of being shot down in flames, I can quite understand the upset about this. Its just bloody stupid to plaster your daughter/dc all over the newspapers when she is only 7 and it's all to do with shitty ex p or divorce or having no pension.

Of course the woman is doing nothing actually libellous and indeed she doesn't legally need her exH's 'permission.'

On paper.

But I would be very upset if my exH decided to start publishing pictures in his possession of my ds in the Bangkok Daily, talking about how he misses his son and what life is like for a Westerner suffering the consequences of whatever he thinks he is suffering from.

Only one small example.

In fact I would be more than pissed off. I would be very pissed off.

I agree that Courtesy is the name of the game surely. Courtesy and respect...for your ex and more importantly for your children.

Firstly I think your dh needs to contact his ex and tell her clearly that he is not happy to have his dd pictured in the paper in this way. Then he also needs to contact the paper concerned and tell them that he does not want them to use any more pictures of his dd without his permission - that he has shared custody, and is prepared to take further action if neccessary.

Sorry I vanished, just sat down after putting the dcs to bed and tidying the kitchen.

DH just feels it's a bloody odd thing to do and it just feels wrong to have DSD plastered all over the papers. Also he feels upset that he has never been consulted about any of it. I spoke to him earlier (he's away this week) and he wondered if she is trying to raise her profile for work or something, his worst fear is that she is somehow trying to produce an image of her and DSD as a solid unit and use it to get sole residency :(

It sounds like the issue here is that your DP feels that he (and you) have to put up with his XP nosing into your lives but can't tell her to get stuffed because she will then withold contact with Dc.
WRT the trying to get sole residency, I think she would have to prove that there is something harmful to DC going on in your home to acheive that.

That is definitely an issue, she just doesn't see him as an equal parent.

Is he an equal parent, though? Do you have 50/50 residency at present? If your DP only sees DC every other weekend, or something, then the XW is the one who has more of a say, she is the parent with custody and doesn't have to consult your DP on everything she does, or take his views on board when she doesn't agree with them.

We do, DSD splits her time equally between her homes, a week with us and a week at her mums.