To object strongly to the level of swearing on here?

[proudnscary]

There is a lot of offensive language on here at the moment. May I suggest either:

a) a swear box. All money to go to Proudnscary's Christmas in Barbados fund, Coutts & Co Bank, Acc no: 666, Transylvania.

OR

b) Substituing swear words for the following:

Cunt - Clock
Fuck - Farm
Bitch - Bobble
Shit - Sausage
Bastard - Bunion
Twat - tickle

So a typical exchange would now read 'I formula fed my farming dc, you clock. I don't give a sausage what you say, stop being a bobble.'

'Your dh is a tickle. And a bunion. Leave him'.

I believe Bruce Willis calls one of the baddies a muddy funster in the ITV version of Die Hard. Harsh words indeed.

YABU. Philoisophers' names are much more MN. Fukuyama, you Foucault Kant!

Er, my Dad's a farmer!

I am very offended.

YABU. Why the fuck would an adult want to substitute words for others when talking to other adults.

Grow up. Or go to Netmums. Or BabyCenter.

Farm off to Netmums you clock.

Don't speak like that about your father, MouseCostume!

ROFL @ Chipping

Gory09 - have you thought about singing "The Fucker Wants a Wife"? That's good clean fun.

Right, I'm off to take the bobbles for a walk, and get some cream for my granny to put on her bastards.

Gory09 I think you should actually go for it at Toddler Group [hgrin]

Not sure I can eat a sausage again though.

Cue national outrage as thousands of mothers start calling their DC "silly shits"

You are all a bunch of willy itches

MadamDeathstare - I've wet myself laughing at wingadingy.

YABVU!!! Fuck, shite, arse!!!! lol Loopylou, love it!!!

this has cheered me right up after a truly clocking day with ds1 being a total and utter bunion.

It's going to give a whole new meaning to those local newspaper articles about Constable Dickinson "clocking up 25 years in the police".

What the fuck are you lot on about?

Sorreee

DH got up looked at my clock, said "I will have a quick sausage and go out and do some farming".

Should I be worried?

Lyn - I'd be more worried if he sausaged on your clock before suggesting some farming, but yes this is very worrying. It's probably safest to leave him. He is clearly a tickle.

Errr, Cotedazur - it is a joke you silly old farming bunion clock. Perhaps it is you who ought to farm off to the mystical land of textspeak and sense of humour failure commonly known as Netmums.