To object strongly to the level of swearing on here?

[proudnscary]

There is a lot of offensive language on here at the moment. May I suggest either:

a) a swear box. All money to go to Proudnscary's Christmas in Barbados fund, Coutts & Co Bank, Acc no: 666, Transylvania.

OR

b) Substituing swear words for the following:

Cunt - Clock
Fuck - Farm
Bitch - Bobble
Shit - Sausage
Bastard - Bunion
Twat - tickle

So a typical exchange would now read 'I formula fed my farming dc, you clock. I don't give a sausage what you say, stop being a bobble.'

'Your dh is a tickle. And a bunion. Leave him'.

well I'm in a farming bad clocking mood so I'll tickling well swear as much as I sausaging want, you bobbles and bunions

(nah, not as satisfying as the real thing )

hmmmm - just read this after the "being annoyed at the way English people communicate" thread

BTW proud you owe the swear box big time!

Personally I quite like most of the swearing - keeping it real. We aren't all sitting at home chewing toffee going "gosh what a dreadfully wicked thing to do" and "your DH is being very naughty"

MollygoreR Tue 19-Oct-10 08:27:17

""Oh sausage. Does that mean we have to sing Old Macdonald had a fuck?
or The mouse ran down the cunt?""

I am not too keen on "10 fat shits sizzling in a pan" either!

I think I might have to cancel the singing session at my next toddler group

FindingmyMojo
That is exactly how I speak. I tell my husband that I am rather cross when he does something that I do not approve of, and if he continues to behave like a twerp that I shall have no option but to make an applepiebed. That will teach the rotter a lesson!

golly gosh MmeBITB

(actually I do talk to DD like that a bit I will admit, but this is a grown up forum afterall)

Right, so nobody has opted for option a) and donated to my Christmas in Barbados fund.

You selfish bunch of farming clocks.

I have two whole children to look after all year round and think a fornight at the Sandy Lane Hotel with Philip Green is the farming least I deserve.

Bunions.

Well its cheered me up. I can nearly feel the sunshine

PMSL this thread is hilarious

This thread is hilarious but I never want to eat sausages again

Piffling myself laughing again at 'mouse ran up the cunt'.

On a slight aside - I have been known to say 'I couldn't give a Felicity' when I mean fuck (sorry, farm). No idea why. I said it once (with a drawn out F) and it kind of stuck.

Love your alternatives Proud! The teenagers I know currently say 'Lol' as a word instead of laughing out loud, which to me implies it isn't that funny - if it was surely they would actually be laughing? But I have recently found myself saying Oh FFS as a word - FuhFuhSuh which is a fairly satisfying way of swearing.

Actually no it isn't, it's a poor substitute. Corns and bunions.

lolo at you lot

swearing I ignore and if there is too much I switch off. Was surprised at first now it's the norm unfortunately.

bnm - feel free to actually read the thread before commenting.

I am farming tired, the farming cunt says it's almost time to go out again, the LO's will want shit for dinner and the bunion neighbour is being a tickle, his wife is a bobble and I wish they would go farm themselves.

and lol at bnm not reading the thread

hilarious

tickle

Reminds me of that Harry Enfield "Goodfellas before the watershed" sketch (dubbed)

"Did you fun my wife?"

"No, I did not fun your wife"

"You money funster"

Suck my lozenge

I have noticed that since becoming and avid MN user, I have started swearing more. And using more insults.

I have been trying to venture being calling people "doucehbag" or "douchey" (as DP gets sick of hearing it all the time), so we were discussing alternatives like moron, dork, muppet, twunt. Then DP said "why don't you just not call people names?" What a STUPID suggestion.

This is a bad thread.

I was having a nice little cuddle with the cat, but I laughed so much at Old Macdonald and the mouse that she ran away.

Bobbles.