Social Housing allocation

[DillyDaydreaming]

I am so angry on behalf of my lovely sister who is awaiting rehousing at the moment.

My sister is currently living in an upper floor flat on the local shit housing estate with my nephew who is disabled (ASD/ADHD and Dyspraxia). Due to my nephew's extra needs my sister can only work part-time, however, she does this readily and earns just a fraction too much to qualify for any help with rent or council tax and is certainly not a complainer.

Recently the council awarded her some extra housing points because of my nephew's extra needs - they know she needs a garden for him and ground floor accommodation.

Last week we were at my parent's house when their neighbours daughter was there. We have known our neighbour's daughter for a long time (10 years +) and she is a nice girl however she has 4 children at the age of 23 and announced that next week she is picking up the keys to a brand new 3 bedroom house. I was pleased for her but noticed my sister seemed a bit quiet and later on she said to me that she felt so envious of this girl and felt really bad for feeling that way.
But honestly I can see her point - my neighbour's daughter nice as she is has never ever worked or paid a penny in rent and is being housed in the kind of property my sister can only dream of. My sister who works and does all she can to support herself and her son is still stuck in the slum estate flat and likely to be there forever given the shortage of 2 bed places locally. Council have told her that on her banding she has little or no chance of being rehoused even WITH the medical points.

I know I am probably being very unreasonable as the neighbour's daughter also needed housing and with four children in a two bedroom house it was a nightmare for her but why does she get the house with the garden while my sister has to struggle? All wrong.

Electra so you propose that even though people can't afford to have children that they should be able to pop out more children and everyone else will pay for them?

Feck right off, these people should be made to live in really poor conditions at the bottom of the list or take the children into care.

If someone falls upon hard times or is in the position where they need additional help due to disability, absolutely the state has to help them out but it does not owe anything to people who take no responsibility for their actions. Hard but that;s the way it is. I'm am sick to the back teeth of people who are in genuine need through no fault of their own not getting help because others can't control themselves or their behaviour.

What I don't understand is why people are allowed to continue living in places when they don't need them anymore i.e. you need a house when you have 4 kids, but you don't when they have all moved out.

It's not your house! Move out and give it to someone who needs it now! I think if you swapped the people living in big houses who no longer need them with families squashed into flats that are too small, you could solve some (I appreciate not all) of the problems.

When i went through a very difficult time a few years back I was very lucky to be allocated a decent sized 3 bed terraced house for me and my 4 children, but I never expected to keep it for life. two of my children have now left home and I have recently downsized to a much smaller propery through House Exchange. i don't understand why more people are not willing to do the same.

children leaving home....well yes,we hope,but i can't see where they will go! these days its getting harder and harder for them to get their own places it seems,so living at home longer....but yes,will happily downsize again.

its the tenency you own,not the house...

Yes - IABU - my sister has now shrugged it off and just said "c'est la vie". I think for her the envy was momentary and she felt bad about even feeling it - she manages and her DS manages too.

The reason she needs a garden is that the OT has recommended safe outdoor space ideally within the home site (so a garden). Then again there is a park within 5 mins walk and my sister takes my DN there almost daily.

Interestingly my sister feels lucky to have her place - even though it's not a nice area. She just says that with the shortage of social housing she is luckt to have anything. It's ME feeling annoyed and it's not my problerm to feel annoyed about - just needed a rant as it seemed so unfair. Like I said though my sister is not ranting. Better person than me.

My sister gets DLA for DN. He is on middle rate care and lower rate mobility I think -0 she doesn't get a car or blue badge I know.

She is talking about saving a deposit for private rent even though she feels it's not secure. In this way there would be the space her DS needs for his high activity levels.

Tootles- there is no care available; some cuncils are discussing dropping thir criteria to take children in, not raising it!

I think pasying for people to ahve kids is the least worse of teh options, but then i've worked in social care and family support and know what it really is like out there.

I might disapprove of the aprents but I would never, ever want a child to suffer- and anyhow, raising kids outside of society (and in care) raises their chances of crime etc- all things that come back to bite the rest of us hard.

Poogles- my parents say they would except that the only housing available for pensioners is in a out of town site, no buses to speak of, no shops, dad stil works p[art time and couldn't access it any longer (can't drive, eyesight, but neitehr ever learned anyway)- everyone they know is local, Mum couldn;t get bus to where Grandad is and she is his carer....

If they could get a 2 bed bungalow where they are they would jump. In fact Dad lost his pensions and they thought they ahd the cash aside for just that. But they cannot; and the downgrade isn't feasible for them. Theya re aware of the realities of social housing but what can they do?

I am glad you got out Tootles, if you want kids to suffer for the sins of the aprents.

harsh, but there it is.

I love the sector- I have yet to find a person without something likeable, however deeply buried it may be. Difefrent strokes and all that I guess.

It's admirable that you stay and put up with it all but where does it end?

The country is slowly becoming bankrupt and everyone is slating the bankers and saying it's all their fault but don't blame those people who take the piss out of something that should be short term assistance or longer term when there is a genuine need. Not because they a) don't want to work, b) say it's not worth their while to work c) feel they are entitled to live like that.

And children that grow up in these environments then start to believe the same stuff and so it goes on and on, where does it end?

You have well and truly fallen for the DM spiel haven't you tootles

They don;t Tootles. Not always.

I am a grad from a council estate that at one point had an alcoholic Dad and Depressive Mum.

I am nowt special; if I can do it anyone can, given a chance.

Not at all, I've seen it with my own eyes.

Don't believe people who don't buy the crap that gets spread about benefits etc is a DM reader.

It happens, and it's not about people having 3 play stations or £75k per year either.

I agree Scary that some do change it and break the cycle but for the odd cases here and there a lot more don't.

Something has to happen to break the cycle.

not enough time to re through this thread. Has your sister been back to GP/OT/Paed etc., to get a letter to up her points? It is HELL living in a tiny flat with child climbing the walls. I used to have to carry my disabled DS upstairs when he was 6 as not in suitable housing, but I found it easier doing that than dealing with his hyperactive, violent ASD traits in a tiny space with no garden. I'll keep my fingers crossed for her

A lot more could though- I truly believe that.

And if I help justa few it's worth it.

Social care won't, and can't, help: there are proposals for councils to privatise CP in some areas.

So we have the choice fo support kids, or not. And not is too horrific.

(And I know about benefits; I claim them. I am a carer. I know benefits does not equal scrote)

I can't believe Mothers are advocating removing children from families and having them live in crap conditions. I was scum once in your eyes, with my toddler and baby in a homeless hostel. You know the best thing to come out of it? That I have a non judgemental attitude and understand that everyone is human, and is worth something, and can be somebody. All the scummy undeserving poor I lived with had aspirations, all of them. The heroin addict wanted to be a proofreader. One alcoholic wanted a job but in the end saved the taxpayer a few bob by topping himself, probably realised how worthless and scummy he was, eh?

OP.YANBU! Really hope your sister gets sorted soon.When we were really on our uppers last year...got no help it was desperate.Plenty of people seem to be able to pick and choose accomodation and yes I am speaking with facts to hand.I thought help was supposed to be there when people really needed it?

Spikey, no I'm not saying that it's the best thing to do nor are people who need welfare or assistance scum. I was referring to the fact that social housing was less available for some people due to the need for the OPs neighbour having 4 children therefore was getting a bigger house.

I was stating that this is not sustainable and I am 100% behind the welfare state but I am not behind it where people have choices and can make lives better for themselves.

I would also fully support rehab and assistance for the heroin addict to help turn his life around.

That's what assistance is for, it is not there as a lifestyle choice.

I have worked with people who have tons of support costing God knows how much.and they have done nothing to help themselves[with 2 exceptions out of approx 20]they don't need to because people will run around after them.

YANBU op, I've been in a simiar situation to your sister it is hard going. Thankfully DS2's SW helped us get priority and we were moved in July to a three bed house with big garden.

These new housing estates that are being built with some social housing, you'll find, are usually only allocated to families who have one full time worker. They are where I live anyway.

I had "support" from HART when I was in my hostel. I had no freezer, no washing machine etc (not complaining because of entitlement, but not having these things pushes the cost of living up, laundrettes etc), a shared bathroom with grown men (making toilet training difficult) noise problems, and lots of other things. HART told me to make sure I went for regular walks. Er, yeah thanks, I do that anyway to save money on travel. I never saw any support. It was very very depressing. It was only when I got out of there that I started valuing education, reading to the kids etc. Now I have a degree myself but no way would I have had the emotional capacity for it in those conditions.

How many people do use it as a lifestyle choice though?
I know a few drug addicts etc, but I am not certian that tehir choices didn;t end long before I ever met them. They were mapped in a cycle; in many cases, right down to teh bastard man who fathered their babies (I do feel free to judge, I lived next door to him all my childhood and knew the family v v v well indeed).

Most people have a back story; most people on benefits are working poor. Many are disabled or carers. Pensioners. People whose lives ahve been aprticularly ahrd- I know not through work of two women with alrge famillies who chidlren were taked away. What they both shared was sexual abuse from their pre teen days onwards by family members. Neither had a clue how to run a relationship or care for a family, they both wanted to but failed.

If you dig hard enough, and people trust you (and probably I was lucky as I worked for a charity rather than LA sector) people open up and the stories that emerge- well they may not be excuses but they often open enough avenues of insight to start understanding- and changing.

A lot of polciies go at things from the wroing angle; people talk about workfare- i'd much rather start with a compulsory literacy and numeracy assessment and enforce that for an hour a day when needed (scarily often). the joblessness is often as not the symptom not the cause.

That doesn;t take away from the fact that there are people taking the chance of a freebie but even then- look at the areas where it rpevails and see why. I am close to the legenday IB culture in Wales; it's quite plain that people aren;t doing it from choice but becuase of hope;essness. IN most cases, proper hopel;essness, as in they don't stand a bloody chance. Which is why drug use rockets as well, and DV etc- all tied up.

People thrive when they have a fair chance; but it isn;t easy to give them one.

yabu. it doesn't work like that.