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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Social Housing allocation

87 replies

DillyDaydreaming · 18/10/2010 13:22

I am so angry on behalf of my lovely sister who is awaiting rehousing at the moment.

My sister is currently living in an upper floor flat on the local shit housing estate with my nephew who is disabled (ASD/ADHD and Dyspraxia). Due to my nephew's extra needs my sister can only work part-time, however, she does this readily and earns just a fraction too much to qualify for any help with rent or council tax and is certainly not a complainer.

Recently the council awarded her some extra housing points because of my nephew's extra needs - they know she needs a garden for him and ground floor accommodation.

Last week we were at my parent's house when their neighbours daughter was there. We have known our neighbour's daughter for a long time (10 years +) and she is a nice girl however she has 4 children at the age of 23 and announced that next week she is picking up the keys to a brand new 3 bedroom house. I was pleased for her but noticed my sister seemed a bit quiet and later on she said to me that she felt so envious of this girl and felt really bad for feeling that way.
But honestly I can see her point - my neighbour's daughter nice as she is has never ever worked or paid a penny in rent and is being housed in the kind of property my sister can only dream of. My sister who works and does all she can to support herself and her son is still stuck in the slum estate flat and likely to be there forever given the shortage of 2 bed places locally. Council have told her that on her banding she has little or no chance of being rehoused even WITH the medical points.

I know I am probably being very unreasonable as the neighbour's daughter also needed housing and with four children in a two bedroom house it was a nightmare for her but why does she get the house with the garden while my sister has to struggle? All wrong.

OP posts:

saffy85 · 18/10/2010 14:26

Exactly Expat. Where I live you are considered extremely lucky to get any council place, no matter what state it's in.

Always makes me laugh when some people say all that crap about "teenage girls getting pregnant so they can get a flat". I don't know, maybe some do, but the reality is, they're lucky to get a room in a hostel round here. Everyone is the same. The only ones guranteed help are the disabled, those recently leaving foster care and people fleeing domestic violence. But they are the most vunerable and thats how it should be.

ScaryMoaningArrrggghhhs · 18/10/2010 14:26

Sorry baggy, X posts.

YY to all but housebound; have even just ahd to turn down an interview for dream job as we cannot access anything and DH can't get morning off. SN finds such ways to limit you that it is unimaginable until you come up against them.

ScaryMoaningArrrggghhhs · 18/10/2010 14:28

Around ehre, there are 30k people on the waiting list; even as a family with 2 disabled and one SEN we can't have a council house- SSD assessors say we need a 4 bed due to safety issues and there are none.

They said we'd get a homeless palce for the 2 NT (ish) ones and us, and SN two would be placed in foster care until a house became available- up to 4 years.

GypsyMoth · 18/10/2010 14:28

oh i see....sorry if i sounded ignorant! just wondered!

we have the bidding system here. i'm looking for the impossible,a 4 bed house. i have 5 dc,but we manage. am considering giving up my room for one of the dc and sleeping downstairs on a sofa bed. its doable. we just have to manage,and do. i'm usually about 15/16 in the queue when i do bid tho.

expatinscotland · 18/10/2010 14:29

And even if fleeing domestic violence, it's hostel/b&b.

SIL only left her ex-partner after her put her in hospital running her over with the car to try to kill her.

SS came to her and told her if she didn't bail, they were stepping in to take the kids.

She spent 10 months in a hostel before having to take what was offered - a maisonette flat in a condemned building.

I kid you not!

She was in there for over a year before they finally knocked the building down and now she's in a 3rd floor flat with a little kid.

Not ideal, but much better than that hellhole she was in.

BaggyCoconut · 18/10/2010 14:29

Scary - I know what you mean about runner, we have 6ft walls too. And in a house we can have a window open, downstairs at the back of the house at least. We have tried every lock that only opens a winodow a little bit, but DD can do them all, shes very practically minded. Summer in an upstairs flat, without being able to open a window and a DD who cannot tolerate sweat - not good. We are still using reins at time for DD, she is 7 also. Hoepfully one day she will have some awareness of danger.

ScaryMoaningArrrggghhhs · 18/10/2010 14:31

We can't have locks (age of house / landlords rules) but tbh it's be worthless; SSD helped us install a lock on ds1's room for emergencies and he just smashed off teh doorframe (luckily, FIL is a carpenter so coming up to sort out).

Technically, in 4 yaers we should be compeltely independent again (DH was amde redundant and is retraining, by then he and I will be field qualified) but every time we get somewhere a hurdle arises- see job interview below and I am starting to think it will never happen.

BaggyCoconut · 18/10/2010 14:34

Scary - I can totally understand. Sometimes I feel like we are in a big bubble which no one can see into, and no one can really understand if they are not here too.

ScaryMoaningArrrggghhhs · 18/10/2010 14:35

Is your dd getting any help with safety awareness? It's a hard one isn;t it? i thought we had it with the boys, we went away in the summer camping and decided theyw ere safe for a bit of independence (aged 10 and 7) so camped right next to the toilets so they could go in and out alone, and we could ehar if they got up to anything.

There was a fire door; they were found in a snowdonia river, after a mountain rainfall, so rough the kayakers used it. I have this feeling that I was supposed to lose both my boys that day- ds3 even got washed a way a little bit. DS1 used a stick to get them both out but there were adults within metres only teh asd meant neither thought to ask

FimboBBINGFORAPPLES · 18/10/2010 14:36

I too wonder how it works. I live on a new estate where it's 70% owned, 30% social housing. There is a lady who has the only 4 bed social house, yet her husband/partner has a £50k car outside the door. She has 4 children and they are all nt.

sarah293 · 18/10/2010 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BaggyCoconut · 18/10/2010 14:37

Scary - OMG thats awfull, how scary. Our DD is being seen again for another episode of treatment with the OT at the hospital, hoping something wil click with her soon. She has OT at her school too, but so far not much improvemant on the safety front.

GypsyMoth · 18/10/2010 14:39

you should all move here then....near Milton Keynes! lots and lots of housing,people get moved to houses very quickly. it gets knocked alot,butMK has alot going for it really.

all the new housing developments have to free some properties up for social housing,and there are 4 new developments here within 8 miles,so i should get lucky soon......and someone else will get lucky to get this house that ive worked on and totally transformed its garden!!!

wish i could reserve it for an MNer!

ScaryMoaningArrrggghhhs · 18/10/2010 14:40

Fimbo- my guess is it's either a shared ownership, or she declared him separated then eh reurned; there is little mechanism for getting people out when they become independent of state help.

How she got 4 beds I do not know; we have 4 kids, only reason we would get a 4 bed is becuase according to SSD ds1 and ds3 both need their own room for disability reasons. We cope in a three and expect to continue to, but it is very ahrd, esp. on ds2 I think who shares with ds3.

saffy85 · 18/10/2010 14:40

Yeah sounds about right expat!

It's actually infuriating when certain people think council places are the lap of luxury most of them are total dives, even the new builds aren't great- small, dark and often badly built.

misdee · 18/10/2010 14:41

all of the stuff mentioned below s why i wont go back on the housing list, despite having 5 kids i na 3bed place. we can make it work, somehow, even if dh and i end up on a sofa bed downstairs for a couple of years till the eldest have moved out.

SalFresco · 18/10/2010 14:42

Does anyone remember the "Milton Keynes...A nice place to live adverts"...it could be updated! I'm there

misdee · 18/10/2010 14:42

we were going to move to MK a while ago. loved some areas, hated others. we live in a nice town in hertfordshire which is expanding a lot atm.

ScaryMoaningArrrggghhhs · 18/10/2010 14:43

Baggy, if you MN mail me I have some powerpoints inclusing a great one by someone who lectures in OT at a leading university (I am doing an MA in ASD). I have a bunch to send out, so feel free.

GypsyMoth · 18/10/2010 14:55

acyually,i'm outskirts of Mk,lots of new builds in the surrounding villages. suppose new houses arent everyones idea of a nice place,but i like them!

the housing situation is quite good here. i was i a hostel for DV,but got offered 3 houses at once and had to choose! this was 5 years ago tho

misdee · 18/10/2010 14:59

we looked at some of the villages. there was a gorgeous house we looked at (when we were in a position to actually buy a house before dh fell seriously ill). it was in a small village, backed onto some fields. downstairs was open plan and huuuge. upstairs was all stripped floorboards, built in bed, wardrobes etc. back in the day when a house was under 100K

ScaryMoaningArrrggghhhs · 18/10/2010 14:59

The problem here is that it has been designated SSSI and no new builds allowed; we could movve to teh enarby city (wouldn;t get a aplce there either but YKWIM- theoretically) but would then lose the school places we have spent years fighting for wrt to teh ASD.

Bit of a catch 22.

AS long as we have our lovely landlady we are fine; she's kind with rent and turned on the neighbour who took a dislike to the boys. Hope she's around as long as it takes to get abck on our feet!

snowmash · 18/10/2010 15:02

I've just logged on mine out of interest (have a preliminary banding at the moment, should get an extra room added, access to bidding on some of the disabled properties and more priority hopefully).

Two properties to rent, both prioritised for homeless people (fair enough), with 150-160 people ahead of me on the list.

The other 5 properties are buy half, rent the rest - only 29 ahead on one of those :o (pity I don't have £80,000 or the means to get a mortgage).

It's very difficult...even with the best of letters, I'm not sure that a family in stable accommodation with a child with ASD/ADHD and Dyspraxia would get points to equal a parent with child who is a wheelchair user/can't do stairs at all.

electra · 18/10/2010 15:06

YABU - but is your sister getting all the benefits she is entitled to for her DS? She should be able to get higher rate DLA for him if he requires a lot of care.

To those of you ranting about people who 'churn out babies'. The only correct thing to do in a civilised society is to ensure that the needs of these children, however they came to be born are taken care of and housing is the most basic need for anyone.

What do you suppose is the alternative option?

try to impose something to stop people having more than x number of children like China? (fascist not to mention unworkable)

let these children (who through no fault of their own) live in appalling conditions?

Perhaps you would prefer to live in a country that is run that way but I certainly wouldn't, nor would I want my own children to grow up observing such a place.

In addition, it is not the fault of the parent with care that their relationship hasn't worked out and they find themselves in the position of being a single parent.

snowmash · 18/10/2010 15:07

PS I do know that the carrying issues with stairs can be similar, not sure councils do.

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