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Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get the pill for under age DD?

61 replies

MentalMillie · 16/10/2010 17:33

DD is under the age of 16. She has had a boyfriend for the past 6 months. I think from things she has spoke to me about that their relationship may turn physical. I am totally against this and have spoke to her at length about the disadvantages of having sex early and have also spoke to her about sexual health, std's etc.

Despite this I am worried that she will have sex anyway, I know I never listened to my parents when I was a teenager.

So I decided to take her to our GP who has prescribed the pill for her. I make sure she takes it each day by actually giving it to her every morning.

DH thinks that my actions are actually encouraging her to have sex. Whereas I think they will do it anyway if they want to and I am determined to prevent her from getting pregnant so young.

OP posts:

Sidge · 16/10/2010 20:50

YANBU.

However I'd rather that my teenage DD goes on the OCP rather than having depo or the implant.

Speaking personally and professionally I really don't like giving young girls implants or depo - long term amenorrhoea isn't necessarily a good thing and I'd prefer she had something more short term. But that's just my preference, when it comes down to it her choice of contraception will be primarily hers.

pointythings · 16/10/2010 21:16

OP,

It's because of people like you that the te4enage pregnancy rate isn't higher than it is. I hope my DDs have enough faith in me to be able to talk to me when they get to that age - I'd like them to be legal if not older (I was 19 when I first had sex) but I'd hope that they wouldn't feel the need to go ahead without talking to me first.
YANBU, good for you!

rainbowinthesky · 16/10/2010 21:19

Very sensible adn wise.

FessaEst · 16/10/2010 21:30

Having an open dialogue with her is the best thing you can do. However, I am with other posters who have suggested FPC, or maybe the school nurse - lots are contraception trained, and will supply condoms only after a demonstration and practice session. You want DD to have them and use them correctly. The condoning part is difficult, but you can talk, and talk and talk through the issues.

Good luck.

MummyO3 · 16/10/2010 21:31

i must say im glad my girls are 1 and 2, and i dont need to go through this for a very long time, but i do think what you are doing and have done is what i would do to, i also agree with people about the injection as it would take the stress off both of you as its only once every 3months

(havent read all comments )

spidookly · 16/10/2010 22:03

Being prepared to give someone a lift somewhere they're going anyway is not exactly what is implied by your first post.

Just because your son is having sex with a girl doesn't make her contraceptive choices your business.

clemetteattlee · 16/10/2010 22:03

Please don't rush to the implant. MANY young women find themselves bleeding almost constantly with it and the waiting list to have it removed is months long. When I took it I was one of the few who experience implant-induced psychosis and tried to drive myself and the children into a wall and even then it was a battle to get them to take it out. I would not take this risk with a young woman.

BarbaraSeville · 16/10/2010 22:14

Blimey

LotteryWinnersOnAcid · 16/10/2010 22:26

YANBU.

But as someone who went on the depo jab underage (I was 14) and who got really bad side effects from it, I would think twice before putting her on that. It was really unpleasant for me and ruined two years of my teenage life making me depressed and achy constantly - then when I came off it I bled FOREVER. I had to go on hormone pills from docs to sort it out. I know people react differently to these things, and this was 10+ years ago so maybe it has changed a bit, but just wanted to warn.

Also wouldn't have the implant for this reason.

Never had problems on the pill, which I took from age 18.

Perhaps you should entrust her to take the pill daily herself? It shows you trust her and gives her responsibility over her own sexual health. If she's using condoms as well it isn't the end of the world if she forgets to take one, although obviously it's not ideal (that she is having underage sex or forgetting to take the pill - but you are doing the right thing in supporting and educating her - my mum couldn't have done anything to stop me and I would have been grateful for the support).

NewbeeMummy · 17/10/2010 12:45

Just to add my 2p on this one, I fell pregnant when using the pill, and then again when using the injection, at the moment I'm on the implant and I do hope it works.

openerofdarklymoulderingtombs · 17/10/2010 13:03

Well done! I think you've done your DD a really big favour here: you sound like a very tuned-in mum. I am also behind whoever it was that said they would take their DS's future girlfriends to the doc or FPC if they wanted. It takes a village, etc.

I had The Talk from my stepmum when I was about 8 (not gory details, obviously, but where babies come from, periods and so on) and this was built on over the next few years. It is one of the best things you can do for your kids: I always knew what to expect re my body, what my options were and that I AWAYS had the right to say no.

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