to be fucked off spending a fortune on hen nights, stag dos, presents, hotels, FLIGHTS and outfits on weddings when you know they are just gonna get divorced within a year ?

[LadyBlaBlah]

In the last few years there have been waaaay too many weddings we have been to, at great expense, where we just know the couple are going to get divorced. And they have.

We have been invited to one in Italy next year (WITHOUT DCs) and it is obvious they are going to get divorced. They hate each other now.

I think we should back out now. DH says "it's his mate from being 5 bla bla bla". I think it's just one big waste of money.

look at it as a lovely romasntic weekend away in italy, just you and dh.

with a wedding as a side event.

or don't go

it is not compulsory

Having spent well over £1000 mucking about with a friends wedding in Spain who then divorced less than a year later I feel your pain .

It would be romantic.....if I didnt have to go to a depressing wedding and be told where I have to stay, oh, and what to wear ( I am serious - this is Bridezilla of all new proportions - I need to blend )

Like your name OP, but why the missing 'h'? Sorry it's bugging me. And, err, oh yeah either go or don't go.

You must move in strange circles
I've never been to a wedding where I know the couple will divorce
if you're not supportive of the marriage what's the point

The money'd be spent whether they divorce or not.
So go, or not.

It is meant to bug

I can only put this recent influx of people who are obviously going to divorce down to an age thing - mid 30's desperados

Oh, and I am the world's biggest cynic. But often rightly so.

Suggest DH goes on his own if he's that keen, I totally agree with you - I hate weddings . Seems the flashier they are the quicker the divorce - probably why I'm still married after 22 years, registry office job and lunch for five .

Too right Ragwort

Italy is just taking the piss

I am not sure they realise that most people don't really give a shit about their wedding

Go, but wear a nice lime green dress with purple spots on it and a big yellow hat.

Blending indeed!!

There should be some sort of a legal document. In exchange for pratting about with ridiculous demands and the expense of the stag, the hen, the childcare, the present, the outfit etc etc., the couple should be obligated to remain married for a certain amount of time.

There could be a sliding scale:
Cheap family friendly registry office do where the hen night is a reasonably priced restaurant and there are no strippers involved in the stag do = they can divorce within 2 months.
Insane childfree extravaganza in the Caribbean = not allowed to divorce for at least 5 years.

I like your thinking Hassled. OP, can't you both go to Italy but only send your DH to the wedding? Italy on your own is great.

eh if the trip is easily affordable for you, and it's a friend of his from childhood, I'd say go for it. Just treat it like a nice trip abroad.

Absolutely do not blend, of course. Smile and nod or whatever when given your instructions, but just wear whatever the hell you want on the day. (seriously, who are the brides who ask for this sort of crap? The bride is the centre of attention, there is no reason to try to make everyone else look bland just so you can look even more princessy or whatever you're aiming for)

I've noticed a trend for destination weddings where there's divorce in the air too... I suspect it's because so many people are sceptical about the nuptuals that they can use the distance as an excuse e.g. "Oh Suzy and Mark would have LOVED to come but just couldn't get the time off work!" rather than "Suzy and Mark couldn't be bothered getting out of bed on a Saturday morning because they reckon we'll be divorced within the year."

An invitation isn't a summons - you don't have to go and the distance is the perfect excuse. One might even argue they are trying to be polite by having it abroad, to make it easier for you to make an excuse!

Not a bad idea, Hassled. In fact, I've always felt obliged to stay shacked to dh after all the trouble my mother went to organising a 3 day wedding, complete with boat trips and coach tours and tuxedos and ballgowns. Though I had to put my foot down about the dress requirements when SIL threatened to come: I told Muvver that if guests were being made to feel awkward about their dress, then I would not be attending this party and she might find it a bit awkward to run the wedding without a bride. But it was a good party in the end. You just have to be firm with these things

Always makes me laugh when the bride dictates what everyone should wear.

So what's the prescribed dress code then?

If you can afford the break then go and enjoy the time together. If it's a struggle to spare the cash, say no.

White blends well.

"SIL threatened not to come"

I hear you, I've been there, holiday from hell all for a wedding where I could see there was no way they were going to last. I gave them a year and they lasted 8 months!
Cost us a fortune and nothing went right from the moment we left the house,delayed flights,lost luggage, great expense,aarrgghh

We've got another one next summer in the same country, I think this couple might have more of a shot though.

YANBU. I don't really understand big weddings, the ceremony is important but presumably not as important as spending the rest of your lives together? Or am I a hopeless romantic?

I went to what I'd consider the wedding from Hell a few ago.

There had been a fight during the stag do, and one of the ushers and several male guests were sporting a selection of black eyes and bruises.

The groom had had a fit of last minute nerves, had been propped up with Dutch courage in the shape of half a bottle of brandy in the morning, and was swaying and only semi coherent at the altar.

There was a further fight and a premature end to the disco at the evening reception when one of the bride's uncles decided the DJ speaking to him at the bar constituted homosexual advances, and floored him.

I was talking to the best man at the bar during the wedding lunch; he said "I give them six months maximum". In the event he was optimistic by about two months.

FWIW I'd go to the wedding if I was the OP - you could always liven things up by running on sweepstake on how long the marriage will last.

I hope you do go, LadyB, this sounds like a wedding anecdote bonanza! Tell us more about the blending?

YANBU. I think people who organise fancy overseas weddings and then expect their guests to stump up £££s simply to attend are extremely selfish and thoughtless. My own brother chose Vegas, effectively excluding all his family from the ceremony. It doesn't matter if the relationship is already failing or as solid as a rock - the principle stands. If this were a close family member or if your husband was acting as best man, say, then you could just about justify the expense. Otherwise, don't go.

I would only go if you fancy, and can afford a WE in Italy. Then make it a nice WE with your partner.

I would ignore "dress codes", I would wear suitable wedding clothes but nobody is going to tell me I need to buy a new outfit in a certain colour. I have had 5 weddings this year, and I just rotate the same two dresses.