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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not have my operation if they dont allow dh into anaesthetic room?

62 replies

mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 14:21

Am having mirena and hysteroscopy next week (private).
Have been seeing consultsnt for almost a year, he knows my history and the rough time I had with ds2 and my PTSD etc. He said there would be no problem with dh coming into the anaesthetic room with me until I go off to sleep.

The assessment nurse just rang about my MRSA screen, and I mentioned it to her (glad I did now) because she said 'ooh we dont normally allow that sort of thing' Hmm

She is going to discuss with the anaesthetist and theatre team and get back to me.

I dont think I'll be able to go through with it if dh wasnt with me, hes very calming Smile. I will be stressed x 100 without him Sad

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Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 14:22

oh and I did my dissertation on this sort of thing which is why its pissing me off even more

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FimboBBINGFORAPPLES · 14/10/2010 14:24

If the consultant said it was ok then I would go by that. I know it is not the same but my dh was with me when I had the spinal block put in for my c-section which was in a small ante room. He was able to hold my hands whilst they were fiddling with my back.

Good luck.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 14:26

thanks fimbo, dh was with me for my EMCS and following 'we fucked up' operation too.

Its not like I am asking for him to be able to sit through the whole op (all 5 minutes of it)

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lucky1979 · 14/10/2010 14:39

I had a hip replacement 5 weeks ago and the anaesthetic "room" was more of a cupboard, there was no way they would have fitted DH in there as well.

The anaestheseologist (I'm really making a best guess at the spelling there) had a big old rant about how consultants keep promising things to patients when they're not necessarily able to deliver - this was in reference to general anesthetic vs. spinal block for major surgery but it's not actually the consultants final decision.

ratspeaker · 14/10/2010 14:40

I'm sure they could accommodate you.
My DD2 had an op at 3 years old, we were with her as she went under, then they called us in to be beside her as she came round.
My DS2 had to have an op to reset his nose,( trampoline accident! ) again I was allowed to be with him as he went under.
So by that logic I cant see an objection to an adult being there to sooothe another adult

OutOutLetItAllOut · 14/10/2010 14:47

yes i do think you are being unreasonable.
these rooms are normally tiny and they need to space to get around, sort things out and make sure that everything is set to give you the safest op possible.
it is totally different with a child. for instance, when my dd had her ops, she sat on my lap to be knocked out, so i took up no more space than one person anyway.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 14:52

I dont actually know how big the anaes room is at this hospital so I cant comment, but I know when I worked in anaes you could easily fit more people in (indeed somedays we would have 2 anaes, 1 ODP, one or two students).

Agree fitting an adult in to sit with a child is no different to fitting an adult in to sit with an adult.

I presume that as my consultant chooses to work with this anaes on his private cases then he knows what he can and cant get away with, but agree sometimes when consultants dont know the anaes or vice versa it can be difficult

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OutOutLetItAllOut · 14/10/2010 14:56

i think an anaes gets final say tho, so dont get your hopes up. in the end they are the ones who say if a op is safe to go ahead.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 14:58

outout letting a visitor into the anaesthetic room has nothing to do with the safety of an operation, nothing at all.

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OutOutLetItAllOut · 14/10/2010 15:00

it may have something to do with how safely they manage to get you 'under' tho. they need to be able to concentrate. and make sure all the Is and dotted and Ts are crossed.

ratspeaker · 14/10/2010 15:03

My son was 14 and 6ft when he had his op.
There was still space for me in the preop room

He was very miffed to be taken to a childrens ward after the op, his feet hung over the end of the bed!

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 15:04

I dont want to be one of those people on AIBU who just continually argues their point without taking anything on board (which Im not normally) ....but ......

IME people work safer when others are watching, sad but true.

Also dh would only be there until Ive had a bit of fentanyl and propofol (i.e. just off to sleep), and then he will be asked to leave, visitors are rarely allowed to stay for intubation (because its looks bloody barbaric). So all the important stuff will go on after he has left the room

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 14/10/2010 15:17

In your circumstances what you're requesting is not unreasonable, and I hope you get what you want. What would the consequence of not having the operation be? (I know what mirena is, not the other part.)

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 15:20

no consequence really, Im having the GA because cannot cope with anything medical due to PTSD.
The hysteroscopy is just to have a look around, and then mirena to hopefully deal with very heavy periods

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 14/10/2010 15:35

Oh, good luck with that (if you go ahead) - I looooove my mirena and haven't had a period (or PMT) for years. :)

I do hope they'll let DH stay, it means so much to you.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 15:50

thank you oldlady Smile I loved my mirena too, no periods for 4 years was bliss.

Have just spoken to one of my anaes friends who knows the anaes doing my op and he thinks it wont be a problem, says he's really laid back so thats positive

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Buglet · 14/10/2010 15:59

I work as an op room nurse... it all depends on the anaes or hospital policy about relatives being present on induction of anaesthesia. Good luck, sure that if you are very nervous they will take that on board. Usually v quick procedure with light anaes so you'll see him v soon after and won't be that 'out of it'. Try not to worry.

Buglet · 14/10/2010 16:04

Sorry mosschops, didn't read post that said you 'worked in anaes' so hope I didn't sound patronising. We are , BTW, the most nervous of all patients and I think you know what I mean Wink

Morloth · 14/10/2010 16:34

It is up to you, but the only person who will suffer for it is you.

If they can't accommodate him and you can't do it without him what is your plan?

ThePumpkinofDoomandTotalChaos · 14/10/2010 16:40

would have thought part of the "perk" of going private is to feel you have more control in the doctor/patient relationship. hope you can get this sorted, you are an experienced HCP so clearly know that this isn't an unsafe ask.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 16:51

buglet you werent patronising at all, your post was right.
We are the worst patients Smile and usually the people the worst fuck ups happen to. BTW I no longer work in anaesthetics due to my ptsd Sad

morloth i will just have to cope with my periods as they are Sad

pumpkin yeah you would hope that going private gives you more choice and so far thats been the case, hopefully its just a nurse/nurse thing and she hasnt rung me back so i presume its ok

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SoupDragon · 14/10/2010 16:56

I was going to post FGS Get A Grip and then i saw it was you :)

I'm not surprised you want him there and, given the consultant who knows your history said it would be fine, I would assume the nurse is just, quite rightly, pointing out what is and isn't normally allowed. She didn't say an outright no and most likely knows nothing of your history.

Stillcounting · 14/10/2010 16:59

Will you get the chance to see the anaesthetist on your own Mosschops? Am no expert but have had several ops and each time the anaesthetist came to see me before hand, do discuss op and do own checks etc.

Much easier to explain these sort of things when you see people one-to-one?

If he isn't planning to see you, I would try and be assertive and arrange for a meeting...

Good luck. I hope your dh can be with you.

Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 17:09

lol soupy i probably should get a grip I am a frown woman, if I was at work I would be rolling my eyes Wink

yes I think I get to speak to the anaesthetist and the consultant on the morning of the op. He also said I'll be first because he knows I'll be on the ceiling if he leaves me there for hours Grin

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Original poster
mosschops30 · 14/10/2010 17:09

lol at frown meant grown but frown would probably suffice Grin

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