to consider starting a new religion?

[twirlymum]

One where if I don't feel like doing something, I can say 'sorry, I can't, because of my religion'.
My religion would involve only eating chocolate for lunch, compulsory singing for one hour a day and only being able to write in felt tip.
We will worship green jelly babies.
I am open to suggestions for any other beliefs/practices for this religion (need suggestions for a name too).

I was bought up a Roman Catholic, dabbled with Jedi'ism for a while, but now want something different.
*all followers would have to pay me a percentage of their income. As L Ron Hubbard said, 'the best way to become rich is to start your own religion'

Go for it. It can't possibly be any more ridiculous and meaningless than any of the 'official' ones.

You could always join "Atheism"

They all seem to treat "Richard Dawkins" as god anyway!

I prefer Professor Brian Cox

even as a straight man i can appreciate him..

I always liked the idea behind this poem - Everywoman her own theology, by Alicia Ostriker.

You could try The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pasta and saying 'Arrghhh' like a pirate instead of chocolate and singing.

(I saw a car with an FSM logo on it at the weekend, makes a change from all those fish)

Nerdy, I thought it was Darwin was God and Dawkins was his (retrospective) prophet? **

**Actually I don't think that at all. RD is quite annoying at times, as are those sort of glib statements

Hahaha..They make me laugh though, the hardline atheists, who act more extreme than the religious nutters.

Southpark had it perfectly, the entire town became athetists, they met once a week to say the "Atheists Vow", they discussed how Atheism made their lives better..

Fab - Can I join? I am prepared to worship green jelly babies. If I dont want to do anything can I just say 'sorry, the green jelly baby god says no'?

Except in real life they actually don't do that, do they?

But anyway, back to the OP:

So what happens when you get a bag of jelly babies? Do you ceremonially bite the heads off the heretical reds, yellows etc and then keep the greens in a shrine?

the greens are too disgusting to eat, so may as well be kept as shrines!
the rest are sacraficial virgins

I'm in favor of a five day weekend

Twirly,
are you going to write a book, though? You have to have a book. Don't worry if it contradicts itself, and the more ambiguous the better.

Ah yes, I'm a grad in religion and it has oft been noted that satrting your own is the way to true financial spiritual riches.

I am a crap saleswoman or I may have given it a shot LOL

make sure there's something that induces a halucinatory transcendental experience in there and something to amke the members seem united, ever so slightly rebellious and cool for teens - say compulsory blue hair or soemthing.

I may write a book. People would pay for it wouldn't they? I shall await divine inspiration (from myself, and possibly the green jelly God)
I think the other colour jelly babies are inferior and unclean, and must not be allowed to mix with the green ones, so I would open special shops where you could buy them separately.

Would you not have to pass through various stage of jelly baby to reach pure green status, each stage coinciding with a rise in donation and a different shop selling even more expensive jelly babies?

So you could ahve a yellow one for 5p each then red for ten....

you'd be laughing!

All the way to the bank, my friend!

Do we have to eat the jellybabies?
Will there be a veggie alternative?

And the singing?
Can it be any song we want or an Abba medley?
If it's anything from Glee out

Personally I'm putting down FSM as my religion in the next census
Though I have leanings toward the Invisible Pink Unicorn and firmly believe in Russell's teapot the pasta and pirates are a winning combination

NO NO NO the green ones taste like toilet duck!

I'm still not clear whether the green jelly babies are to be enshrined or sacramentally eaten.

I quite like Discordianism.

Not eaten. (they are vile tasting, but that is to stop non-believers from eating them just to offend us)

Mmmmm tastes like green jellybeans.........