to consider starting a new religion?

[twirlymum]

One where if I don't feel like doing something, I can say 'sorry, I can't, because of my religion'.
My religion would involve only eating chocolate for lunch, compulsory singing for one hour a day and only being able to write in felt tip.
We will worship green jelly babies.
I am open to suggestions for any other beliefs/practices for this religion (need suggestions for a name too).

I was bought up a Roman Catholic, dabbled with Jedi'ism for a while, but now want something different.
*all followers would have to pay me a percentage of their income. As L Ron Hubbard said, 'the best way to become rich is to start your own religion'

Drinking Toilet Duck is clearly heretical. Repent and drink no more!

Once you have started your church will you set up your own faith schools and ban non green-jelly-baby-worshippers? If your school is any good, you may get people converting to your religion just to give their kids a good education.

Actually, I'm reasonably sure that Twirly the Founder would agree that no woman should have anything to do with loo cleaning products. It is surely soon to be written that men are the true cleansers of bathrooms, yea, and emptiers of bins. Blessed is the man who knows the meaning of 'laundry basket'.

(I could get seriously into this...)

I was talking to a RL friend thi week and we thought we would re write the Bible in text speak

Jesus on the cross.. OMG y have u 4saken me

May I butt in with a warning here? I am seriously worried about this new religion, I have to tell you, as green jelly babies are anathema to the Pink Sherbet-Filled Flying Saucer-ites.
Toilet Duck arouses equal ire. For it is written, thou shalt shall brush with no other cleaner than Domestos.
Woe be unto thee, yea, unto the umpteenth generation.

Mardy
Interesting idea - would be popular with kids too on account of the lunchtime dietary restriction.

What if I prefer mini green jelly babies? Is that heresy or do I have to break from the main religion and start my own reformed jelly baby worship.

That would be an ecumenical matter.

Yes, of course we would have our own faith schools. An added benefit, I'm sure you would agree.

Of course, there may be those who convert just to access these schools, but it will forever be on their conscience.
As for bathroom cleaning, yes that will be mens work only. Especially the cleaning of hair-filled plugholes.

I can feel another verse coming on:

"Blessed is the man who can locate his own car keys. Seek and ye shall find! But cursed is the man who cannot be arsed and expects his wife to stop what she's doing and hunt for them"