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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

11 year old on train alone...

52 replies

moraldisorder · 11/10/2010 10:00

Am I being unreasonable to have put the 11 year old (1st year of secondary) On the train for a 2 stop/ 10 minute journey.

She felt comfortable with it and I waited for the train to arrive in order to literally place her on it. Then asked her to call me once she had arrived, which she did.

Too young? Unreasonable?

OP posts:
HeadlessLadyBiscuit · 11/10/2010 10:02

No, not at all. If she is comfortable and has a phone, I don't see what the problem is

piprabbit · 11/10/2010 10:03

There are a lot of children on my local line who are travelling to the local grammar. It's about a half hour journey away.
You see a lot of parents with their children at the start of the year - and this drops off a people work out which friends travel on the same train etc. and the children start to travel with their friends.

So no YANBU if you and DD both feel comfortable with the arrangement.

twopeople · 11/10/2010 10:04

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maduggar · 11/10/2010 10:05

I wouldnt put mine (she is so not responsible enough!) but I would my sister of the same age (very mature).

LynetteScavo · 11/10/2010 10:05

YANBU.

Lots of children do this to get to school every day.

I went from Birmingham to Leeds alone on the train at that age.

twopeople · 11/10/2010 10:06

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 11/10/2010 10:06

I can't see what the problem is. At that age, I was using the London tube on my own.
When did children being independant start raising so many eyebrows?

bruffin · 11/10/2010 10:08

Both mine did a similar journey every day from the first day of year 7.

Original poster
moraldisorder · 11/10/2010 10:11

Cool, thats great, glad to know my partner and I aren't horrendously irresponsible and law breaking... as the 11 year olds mother suggested.

(He's her dad, she lives with us half the week)

OP posts:
annh · 11/10/2010 10:11

Has somebody suggested this is unreasonable? Surely not? DS1 (12) has been cycling to the local station and taking a 5 min train since he started secondary school at 11. He has a 10-15 min walk at the other end too. Granted, there are about 4 of them who travel together as a group but even if he was doing it on his own, I would feel quite comfortable. It's a commuter train with lots of older kids from his school and I'm sure if he had a problem 99.9% of the adults on the train would help out too.

We live in Surrey and I see kids on the train all the time who are travelling long distances and into London, involving changing trains, tubes etc and they all cope perfectly well.

trefusis · 11/10/2010 10:12

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twolittlemonkeys · 11/10/2010 10:12

I did a 10 minute train journey, change and further 5 minute train journey at that age. Lots of kids do, so as long as you and DD are comfortable with it, no problem.

mumblechum · 11/10/2010 10:12

yanbu, my ds has been doing a similar journey to meet friends in the next town since he was 12.

annh · 11/10/2010 10:12

Law-breaking?????? How does the 11 year olds mother think most of the kids get to school? Are they all deposited at the front gate by loving parents?

gorionine · 11/10/2010 10:13

I think from start of High School it is really OK to do a 10 min journey on the train on their own. I am pretty sure I was travelling on a train alone by that age (not UK though).

trefusis · 11/10/2010 10:16

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strawberrycake · 11/10/2010 10:21

I don't know any children of high school age who don't make their own way to school, be it walking, cycling, bus or train. As a year 6 teacher in fact I suggest to parents they allow them to travel to school alone for at least some of year 6 to prepare themselves for longer journeys on their own in year 7. Does she have any friends she can go with?

Antidote · 11/10/2010 10:32

Lawdy, my cousin was catching the train up to London to stay with me when she was 11 (4 hrs), and this summer (age 13) came to Scotland to join us on holiday (8-9hrs). We did put some effort in to make sure she had a direct train, not because I don't think she could change but she did have 2 HUGE bags.

We do make sure her mobile is charged, keep in touch by text and make sure we meet her at the ticket gate so she doesn't get lost in Paddington station!

I suspect the major safety issue in her case is that she'll be so engrossed in her book that she'll miss the stop!

Original poster
moraldisorder · 11/10/2010 10:35

Me thinks maybe trefusis hits the nail on the head with the second part of his/her response!

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 11/10/2010 10:42

I agree with trefusis. Surely all the 11 yr olds who live in your area and go to the school are doing the same?

duchesse · 11/10/2010 10:59

My friends' 11yr olds have all three made their way to school 10-15 miles away in different directions, in a journey involving several changes through London. One only turned 11 on August 28th, started secondary school a few days later.

Depends on the child but if they're up to it, why on earth not? They get more confident the more they're exposed to these experiences anyway.

Hedgeblunder · 11/10/2010 11:06

Yep that's fine- I very happily did it at that age (pre mobiles!) it's definitly good practise as long as she can contact you in someways if she really needs to!

mumeeee · 11/10/2010 13:05

That's fine. My DD's were travelling on a bus to school at that age and that was a 10 minute Journey. It was a service bus not a school one.

camerondiazepam · 11/10/2010 13:13

Gawd I don't want to sound all "when I were a lass" but at 11 I was getting 3 public buses to school across Birmingham.

She's shit-stirring, don't rise to it.

HappySeven · 11/10/2010 13:45

I think it's lovely she's allowed to do it and I bet she enjoyed her independence. I started catching a train to school at 9 (20 mile journey each way) and loved feeling grown up. I think children that are allowed to do things like this tend to repay the adults by behaving in a responsible manner.

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