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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

pissed off with step nieces slagging off my db on facebook

63 replies

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 16:26

Sorry this is long as wanna get everything in my post so not to miss anything out,

Had a call out of the blue last week from my sis in law, She was very upset, said her dd 17 had found an email to my bro from facebook referring to another woman and was convinced he was having an affair,

She was very upset and asked what I thought, I told her that I didnt think he would cheat on her as he is a family man and wouldnt do that and couldn't see him having the time even if he wanted to, he works all the time, (nights) and comes to mine or my mums most days as he works so far from home it isnt worth him going home till his day off.

even before she had spoken to my db both my step niece's who my db has brought up as his own for the last 18 years (they have a son together who is 16) the girls are 17 and 19, she was pregnant with dn no 2 when they got together had posted a facebook status calling him a ct and a Wr and that they hated him without knowing any facts,

I called my sis in law back and asked her to tell them to delete their status's at least until she and my db had spoken which they did but was too late as too many people had seen them and was asking questions.

Sis in law asked if she could call me the next day after she had spoken to db, she didnt bother so I was worrying all day,

Turns out he had an email from facebook saying some woman had looked at his profile, didnt know they did that but it was all over nothing, they are all happy, happy again and i am flippin pissed off with my sn's and my sis in law for making something out of nothing,

More pissed off with sn's about what they said about my db as he works all the hours god sends for them.

OP posts:

Ulysses · 08/10/2010 18:38

Sorry, maybe you've picked it up but there's something fishy about being sent an email that's someones viewed your profile. FB has a Privacy Fundamental Policy which basically says this can't and won't be done.

Nevertheless, it's up to your DBs family to sort out this between themselves and if they have so be it. Have you spoken to him about things?

OnceUponA · 08/10/2010 18:42

There aren't those applications, sorry. It is completely against FB guidelines and an app like that just would never be allowed.

And anyway- it's not of your business. Back off and leave him and his wife to deal with things.

usualsuspect · 08/10/2010 18:42

She must have commented on his profile for him to get an email...

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 18:45

Hello Ulysses I have researched this myself since this has happened and there are ouside applications that can do this,

I have spoken to my bro since, waited for him to bring it up as didnt want to drop his wife in it but he mentioned it, he was very light hearted about it as its been sorted at home.

i am still angry at the way those girls spoke about him, allways treated them the same as other nieces, just really dissapointred in them,

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 08/10/2010 18:53

There is no such thing as an application to check who has just viewed your profile..the so called stalker apps just show how many times you interact with someone's page

nancydrewrocked · 08/10/2010 18:58

alfie you are wrong. there are no such applications.

Occassionally applications will purport to be able to tell you who has visited your profile - they are fronts for advertising apps that just want your details.

BigOfNoorks · 08/10/2010 18:59

It could very well have been a friend/nonfriend poked him? but I have a friend who claims to know who views her profile and a status update did come saying so and so is on profile watcher click here if you want to see who looks at your profile (or something like that)

BigOfNoorks · 08/10/2010 19:01

Either way I am sure that your SIL is not that stupid and has had a good look at the email and found a justification for herself, that she is happy with.

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 19:05

Well I only know what i was told and my bro and sis in law confirmed it the email.

My younger sis was on facebook once and said a message came up saying another family member was viewing her photos,

I am no facebook expert, just going by what I am told,

I know there are outside applications that can do stuff but not sure to what extent.

OP posts:

BigOfNoorks · 08/10/2010 19:18

Even if he was cheating still very wrong to drag your children into the argument IMO

DuelingFanjo · 08/10/2010 19:23

"Turns out he had an email from facebook saying some woman had looked at his profile"

this doesn't happen.

Have you spoken to your brother face to face about it?

POFAKKEDDthechair · 08/10/2010 19:26

I have been sent an application that says it tells you who has been looking at your profile. I didn't follow up on it. I don't feel like looking at anyone's profiles now just in case though.

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 19:27

Yes very wrong that the kids know before the parents have discussed it,

I know she was very upset at what she thought was going on, none of it was true and there wasnt the slightest bit of evidence, if he had been cheating i would be the first one to have a go, but not on facebook. He might be my brother but that doesnt mean I would defend him if he did wrong, Just knew that he hadnt,

OP posts:

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 19:33

Yes have spoke my brother about it, I didnt want to bring it up as didnt know if his wife told him that we knew, didnt want to get her in touble for involving us, ( me. my older sis and our mum}

He brought it up so felt it was ok to discuss.

As for facebook, my daughter has a thing on her facebook that can tell who has looked at your profile the most, I'm no fb expert but am very wary that maybe you are not as invisible as you might think when nosing on others.

OP posts:

playgroundwoes · 08/10/2010 19:33

But the children knew because they saw the email or have I missed point?

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 19:37

TRhankyou POFAKKEDDthechair There are applications out there that can tell you these things.

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 08/10/2010 19:37

Lots of people have things on their fb claiming that..they are scams

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 19:38

Yes his stepdaughter saw an email saying that a woman had viewed his profile on facebook, that is all it was,

OP posts:

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 19:41

I dont know if the email was from facebook or not but he, his wife and the 3 teenage kids are all happy now, 3 teenagers accept the email was just someone viewing his profile,

OP posts:

nancydrewrocked · 08/10/2010 19:43

I am sure this is an interesting diversion to whether or not YABU but those applications do not exist

They are scams designed to get you to divulge your personal information. Facebook have repeatedly made it clear that such an application would be unlawful and in breach of their own T&C's and therefore would not be permitted.

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 20:09

well whatever the email was, my bro didnt cheat and they no longer think he did,

Still very pissed off about the way those girls spoke about him, they had no right at all.

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 08/10/2010 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 08/10/2010 20:16

I think you should butt out and let them sort themselves out

Original poster

alfiethekittycat · 08/10/2010 20:18

I have not said anything to them about it apart from asking my sis in law to ask them to remove it on the day as she was unnaware of it and had not had a chance to speak to my brother about everything at that point.

At that point my bro did not know anything about it and as he uses his laptopp at night whilst in his lorry waiting for a call out I did not want him to see his girls calling him a cunt and a wanker and to stay out of their lives when he didnt have a clue what was going on.

Should I have just left it for him to see and to cause even more problems?

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 08/10/2010 20:20

Yes you maybe should have told your sil what was being said..and then left them to sort it out themselves

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