to dislike the phrase "nice middle class children"?

[littlebylittle]

I hear it fairly often and wonder why people insist on linking perceived class with niceness. Esp when talking about who their dc should play with. I can't say that niceness is necessarily a middle class trait - and those of any class who seem to be nice are perhaps not always what they seem.

I am having a lot of trouble with my eldest boy. He has got in with a crowd of kids and its causing no end of problems.

No they are not the local boys in da hood. They are mostly children from the more affluent side of the area. Trouble comes from them having very few boundaries, too much money and too few rules.

DS wants all that too. Why couldnt he go to a music festival 250 miles away? Errrm because you are FIFTEEN and it costs TWO HUNDRED QUID!! I was beyond shocked that a group of his friends were allowed to go and their parents paid for everything.

We cant bail him out if he drops out of college, we cant sub him a deposit to buy a flat if he gets a crap job, we cant buy pay for a gap year.

He HAS to get on or he will be buggered.

But I wouldnt tar all MC kids and their families with the same brush. Because that would be predjudiced, like those threads on MNs about over breeding, plasma watching scroungers that are so common..

Friend of my DM recently observed that thick rich kids will usually get further in life than bright poor ones. I tried to argue with her but have uncomfortable feeling she is right .

Not sure where that leaves those of average ability and income like us and DD.

But do people really talk about 'nice MC kids' with tongues not in cheeks? That sucks. Nice kids are nice kids and not nice ones likewise, and in my experience niceness is not dictated by parental income but more by attitude.

Slightly off topic, but what's wrong with children talking to adults on same level? I don't mean 'why haven't you ditched that loser of a husband yet' but discussing books you've read, what's in the news, the weather and so on. DD is an only and she's generally better at talking to adults she doesn't know than children she doesn't know. Less pressure to fit in, I suppose.

I meant on the same level as in they don't have to do what they are told. Like they are adults themselves and make their own choices wherever they are.

Fair dos spikeycow. I've met a few of those and they are a bit annoying! Parents are always inordinately proud of their spirit.

This only came up because someone questioned our choice of school. There was a distinct implication that dd would pick up nasty habits from some of the children there. It's a lovely primary with a balanced catchment. dd is so happy and I feel much more comfortable now than I have for a long time. I can't even describe it without a risk that it sounds as if I am expressing surprise that it should be so. But I think really I have spent a long time pretending to fit in with a group that I don't really. My background is mixed really so I guess it would be. I do find it really hard when friends who have chosen a distinctly unmixed school imply that somehow it's better.

It's ridiculous and inaccurate but people always stereotype in every walk of life, I don't see how it's any worse than inaccurate sweeping generalisations made regarding people who presumbly look, sound 'middleclass', the 'sing song' voice comes to mind. Personally, the Artful Dodger and the sing song voice sound equally annoying. Obnoxious, crosses all class boundaries!

Have never heard that phrase ever!

It simply isn't true! I teach all across the range and you get all sorts, in all classes of society.
In many ways the 'not so nice' middle class DCs can be a worse influence-they have the money. I think that my DSs girlfriend has it right 'the posher the school-the harder the drugs'.

Good manners and general niceness are not the sole preserve of any one class.

It's not linking class to niceness. It's referring to people who are nice and middle class and children. So the phrase it self implies that there are middle class children who are not nice.

It is linking them-if people are new to a town and choosing schools they want to find out where the 'nice middle class children go'-you can tell them that school A is full of 'nice working class DCs' and school B is full of 'middle class DC who are not nice'and they simply won't believe you! They will choose school B (especially if it has a good OFSTED report)>

See, what they really mean is "Where are the middle class children"

i hate classification but esp. for kids. they are just bloody kids scratch the surface a feral little egomaniac will emerge.

I loathe the idea that al the MC are nice, but then I also loathe that whole salt of the earth WC shite too.

There's good and bad everywhere.