to dislike the phrase "nice middle class children"?

[littlebylittle]

I hear it fairly often and wonder why people insist on linking perceived class with niceness. Esp when talking about who their dc should play with. I can't say that niceness is necessarily a middle class trait - and those of any class who seem to be nice are perhaps not always what they seem.

No love, he read it on yer facebook innit Loooooool.

Bear jokes.

Naa don't do FB. I'm not putting my mug up on the internet for no one, sometimes I'm tempted to open an account just to snoop at people though

I admit - I have used it and not ironically. I am slightly embarrassed. It is lazy short hand for 'nicely brought up children' but I admit, implicit in the statement is the assumption that only the middle classes are capable of providing an appropriate upbringing, and that is offensive and inaccurate.

However (so shoot me) - there is a tendency for children of the better educated - who also tend to be the middle classes [because we have a sham meritocracy - and you just don't get the same life chances if you are working class, to go to Uni etc]to be raised in more favourable circumstances (materially and reflectively with better engaged parents) and this has a beneficial effect.

I await ridicule - but am content that I am fundamentally correct [sticks out tongue]

However, there is a sense of entitlement with some middle class children. They go to peoples houses and confidently state their needs and wants very impolitely. I don't really have them to play any more. They talk to adults on the same level and I don't want my children learning that

Oh I agree - the entitlement complex that you sometimes see is a bit nausea inducing

"I want a drink! I don't LIKE that!" I've never had an artful dodger communicate with me like that ever. And I've had loads of boys come to play.

Oh glad you agree! Do you know what I mean by that sing song tone or is it just me

I've only experienced that once though. Majority of dc's classmates (middle class) - pretty nice children. This will sound so patrician - apologies - my cleaner's grandchildren (working class) - lovely and well mannered too

I also have pretty good manners (with the exception of on MN when I mutate) and was raised by decent working class parents, God love 'em

Yes - the sing song voice, on further reflection probably have encountered that more than once!

The reverse snobbery on here is unreal

Not snobbery. Mere observation.

I've never heard of "nice, middle class, children" said in a sincere way.
Only sarcastically.

Um, no. It's reverse snobbery. Quote: "don't have that posh sing song tone that sounds like ner ner ner ner ner all the time"

And it's not all mc kids obviously. Some are sweet as anything. But some do the sing song

But I bring my children up strictly and with good manners because they have to try harder to get where they want to go.

They are going to have to prove they are not gun toting street rats, it will not be assumed they are 'nice' because they are MC.

Is that why their manners appear so much better than some of the MC children we encounter at soft play etc?

It's observation. I've heard it one more than one occasion. It's a patronising tone. Not pleasant from anyone, let alone a child

Equally unpleasant to listen to are poor grammar, dropped consonants and foul language. Especially from a child. I think a sing song tone is infinitely preferable don't you?

Same here. I want my children to be liked. They know how to talk to adults, not to demand from adults they don't know well etc. They will have to work hard to overcome barriers as I did.

No poor grammar isn't worse than being rude to adults. Or it might be in MC land. That's precisely my point.

More worried about grammar than manners. Why?!

MC children do all those things as well

I dont care how a child speaks (barring jafakin) but I do really care about manners and good manners are not the preserve of the middle classes.

Anymore than a good singer can only come from 'da streets'

Its all offensive steryotyping. There is just a lot more of it on MNs directed at the working classes.

Exactly. Chavs in the park, tattoos, blah blah. All stereotyping. My children are clever. My eldest is in the top set for everything. I'm doing a Masters. I don't give a toss about grammar.

And foul language? An MC child wrote fuck you on my wall upstairs. He wasn't even told off, so spoilt was he

Oh yeas that child is much nicer because the bank owns their house as apposed to a landlord!

People need to get a grip, people are people no matter where they live!

You lot think you have problems. My DS1 pronounced Here as He-year this evening. What am I going to DO? He is going to have to learn to fight with that accent in an Austraian public (i.e. state) school.

I corrected him with a properly nasal 'Heeeer?' But he just looked at me.