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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Pull DS out of school for 6 months to travel

36 replies

ValentinCrimble · 07/10/2010 19:56

He is in year 2...his Dad recently got a contract in New Zealand for 18 months and we are missing one another badly! We had originally decided for myself and DS (6) DS (23 months) to stay on at home...and DH would visit ...with maybe us going over there for Xmas...we wanted to avoid too many expensive flights so we could save up cash for future.

Anyway...DH has one year left and it's killing us...DS misses Dad badly...as does little DS....DS is very happy at school.

I suggested that we go over at Xmas...and just stop on until July/August and then return in time for DS to begin year 3...my brother is willing to rent our house from us for the interim as he is currently living with our Mum having just had a bad divorce....the only thing I worry about is DS falling behind in school...though a tutor could be got in New Zealand...and I would probably home ed along with tutor help....I thought the freedom and cultural experience could possibly outweigh the messing about.

Will it be terribly damaging to DS's education? Help...DH got so excited when I mentioned it all...he's actually feeling ill with missing us.

Oh I did mention it to DS and he was so pleased at the thought...he understands it is not definate and he understand he would be in year three on his return...he said "Great...I can send postcards!"

OP posts:

Original poster

ValentinCrimble · 07/10/2010 20:09

Should have mentioned that his school is private and there will be a place there for him for yr. 3.

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 07/10/2010 20:11

I'd be over there like a shot - and look at putting him in school in NZ (my friend goes back there over the summer holidays and puts her kids in school there for 4 weeks!)

thisisyesterday · 07/10/2010 20:12

i wouild definitely do it!

AllGoodNamesGone · 07/10/2010 20:13

Can he definitely get back into the same school when you return? I don't think they would keep a place open that long if they are oversubscribed.

Apart from that, I'd go in a heartbeat.

Liluri · 07/10/2010 20:14

Do it!

Curlybrunette · 07/10/2010 20:14

I'd do it without a second thought!

loubielou31 · 07/10/2010 20:14

Just go!!!! Get online and find those flights now!!!!!!!

Do you get the feeling that I really think you should go!!!!!!

AllGoodNamesGone · 07/10/2010 20:15

Cross posted! As his school place will be waiting for him when he comes back, go!

Riponite · 07/10/2010 20:16

Personally, I would go with the travel, and I have heard from lots of retired teachers that they learn more travelling through a different country and learning about things around them, than they will in the time at school.

My husband was working away for several months this summer, and we were thinking of staying on after our holiday with his parents in America, and just enrolling DD1 (5) in the local school for a term. We asked several teacher friends of my MIL what they thought.

In the end we decided against it for various reasons, one was that she would miss the beginning of the new year with a new mix of children and a new teacher, whereas your son would be going back for his start of the new year.

He is so little, that if you just keep him interested about words and numbers, he will catch up with his peers. School may hate the idea, because it impacts on their attendance rating for Ofsted.

loubielou31 · 07/10/2010 20:16

Why are you waiting until christams?

loopyloops · 07/10/2010 20:16

Go for it. No second thoughts. In fact, why not go now and come back when DH does, if you don't have job worries?

I really don't think time out at this age will be a problem, you'll presumably put him in school in NZ? He'll love it. (Can I come? :) )

MrsC2010 · 07/10/2010 20:17

Absolutely do it.

Original poster

ValentinCrimble · 07/10/2010 20:17

Really chasingsquirrels? That sounds cool...I like the idea of showing them another situation....the way other schools work.

AllGoodNames...yes...when the DH's job first came up I had a long heart to heart with the head teacher and she was so nice and with very good advice. There will be a place for him...it's tiny and not the most sought after private school...more of a cheap alternative to the over-full state schools here!

I am so heartned to hear such positive reactions...my Mum thinks it's all a bit "out there"....

OP posts:

ChasingSquirrels · 07/10/2010 20:18

yeah, always surprises me, but she has done it over at least the last 3 years.
It is a small town, where she grew up and where her family still are - but even so, I don't think you would get that here. And she hasn't lived in NZ for getting on for 20 years.

Original poster

ValentinCrimble · 07/10/2010 20:19

Lol...I think I should chill out by the sound of you lot! I am such a worrier! The only reason we havent gone now is...well...my worrying! I wanted DS to finish this term! It seems a bit silly now!

OP posts:

mamaloco · 07/10/2010 20:19

DO IT, now! he will learn much more travelling than at school (unless you suspect some learning difficulties, but even then he might be better off seeing his dad more often).

bumpsoon · 07/10/2010 20:20

six months out of infants will have no detrimental effect whatsoever on your sons future academic acheivement . Look at getting him into school in NZ for six months ,keep up his reading etc and he will be fine .Ask the school he is currently at to give you a plan for the six months he is out to show the school in NZ and if there are any gaps ,you can always fill them . Book those tickets missus

mummytime · 07/10/2010 20:20

Why not go? I'd go as soon as practical. He can make up anything he misses later, and he will learn a lot. Of course the school will not have to keep your school place open, but they might.

I would have gone straight away, and never have considered such a long separation. When your child is doing their GCSEs things will be different (or if it was a less hospitable country).

Original poster

ValentinCrimble · 07/10/2010 20:22

The world just keeps getting smaller...and being a homebody who hates chage its all a bit of a challenge for me...I am just realising that maybe all my "concerns" about DS are actually concerns about myself!

God I love Mumsnet at times! I feel SO much better now!

OP posts:

pinkgrasshopper · 07/10/2010 20:22

Go, go, go- what a wonderful opportunity!

SE13Mummy · 07/10/2010 20:24

I think you'd be unreasonable if you didn't go ASAP (and I say that as a primary school teacher). A child who is happy is going to learn far more than a child who is preoccupied and wondering when he'll see his Dad again.

The experience of travelling to NZ will be an education for him and, as others have said, they do have schools out there too!

Book your tickets.

Alambil · 07/10/2010 20:26

he's 6 - 7 at most... he has another 9 or 10 years at school to catch up.

Going abroad for a long time is a massive cultural lesson anyway, so he'll be learning - just perhaps not literacy and numeracy according to the National Curriculum

loubielou31 · 07/10/2010 20:26

Your mum is probably worrying that she'd miss you or that you might not come back. Please don't let that make you not go and be with your husband.

As one who is looking at the impending doom of a six month plus separation (army wife) I would always choose (and do) to go where my DHs job takes us.

I believe that a strong family bond will do more good than a year of British primary education. It's not like your going to keep him away from all educational influences for the next year, in fact your son will learn a lot from experiencing life in another country.
I still think you should go go go!

KittyFoyle · 07/10/2010 20:27

Do it for sure. As others say, it's all part of his education and I've read headteachers saying that often when children are taken off like this by responsible parents they come back ahead of their peers anyway. Fantastic and much more important to be near his dad.

(My friend spent a long time away from his kids - most of 3 years) due to working while they stayed at school. I really think, for lots of reasons, he got it wrong. Should have been together.

Blu · 07/10/2010 20:29

Attending school in NZ could be fantastic - he would make new friends there v quickly as a result and gets all the experience of living a different life. I'd do it if I knew there was a school place on return.

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