private/state/faith - what would you ddo

[mumtryingtodotherightthing]

Hi all

(name changed to protect the innocent ie me)

I am wrestling with a dilemma and would love to get some outside opinions.

So, I live in Hackney, have done for 12 years. I have one son, a normal, lovely little boy. he is due to start primary in September.

Some friends had moved out of our area when they had kids, citing the schools. I always thought, what rubbish, the schools are fine, I will stay. I always felt that I kept faith with an area which has had bad press, and I wanted to stay as this was where I'd chosen to have my home and I would live there.

There is a lovely local school, which most of the children in out street go to. I (probably naively,) thought that my son would go there.

Unfortunately, in the last couple of years the area has become quite trendy, and people have started moving here to have families, taking advantage of the lower cost housing.

Now the school where I had always intended to send my son has shrunk its catchment are from 1km to 253m. We live 700m away.

There is a Catholic school nearby. This doesn't seem to have a catchment area as all the admissions were faith based (according to the LA prospectus thing I picked up from hackney Council)

There are two schools which are so bad they have enormous catchment areas. One was in the local paper recently as there was a gang trying to recruit the older children to sell cannabis. Its also a pretty bad school academically.

The other is safe but generally rubbish, getting 4 on all the OFSTED reports with loads of children leaving at age 7 to go private or leaving the area. The quality of the teaching was really panned by OFSTED.

So - based on the fact that I want to do the right thing, be true to the area I have chosen to be my home and love, and want to ensure that my son goes to a school he thrives in as any decision must take him into account: what would you do (some of these are obviously not but are what I know other families in the area are doing...)

1. lie about where you live using mail drop , grannies address etc

1. move house for a year to get closer to the school

1. lie about religion, get son baptised even though I really have no truck with Catholicism, send son to a staunchly, overtly Catholic school where he will effectively have to brought up as a practicing Catholic.

1. send son to drug recruiter school

1. send son to rubbish school, know that he will not get good education there, top up with tutors

1. go private to local prep which has a great rep and has a nice multiracial mix reflective of the area

1. move to another part of London, or to the country

(I'll post in education as well, but fancied a bit of brutal honesty)

Vallhala - I couldn't agree less. It is because more and more people are buying into your way of thinking that education is becoming more polarised and divisive.

Mummytryingtodotherightthing - why don't you arrange a visit to the schools during a normal working day to get a feel for what is going on in the classrooms. It goes without saying that you wouldn't and shouldn't send you child to a school you had visited and didn't feel comfortable with. FWIW, our (pretty bright) DD goes to our local primary when many of our friends from our neighbourhood send theirs to the so-say higher achieving schools further out. On paper, her school doesn't look like the obvious choice, but it is her local school, they really know their kids and cater to their diverse needs rather than a one-size-fits-all curriculum. She loves it, is learning and is happy. I wouldn't have known that had I not given it a go and had followed the assumptions.

It only takes a few positive parents to get behind a good school staff for a school to become a true reflection of the community it aims to serve.

Have you looked at senior schools? A bit far ahead, I know, but if they're bad too it might have some impact on whether you move or not.

FWIW i would go private if I could afford it. No question. Its honest, does not involve deceit about religion/address etc and increases the chance of your ds having a good education. Simple. But many will flame me for this

I'd move closer to the good school (having looked around the other options first) and then I would be prepared to move again come secondary school application time. It's horrible but that's what it's like in London.

Having said that, I did send my dd1 to a school that I was very unhappy with for two years (we eventually moved as we had to find a place for ds by that stage); now she's no longer there, I can see advantages to having sent here there. (1) She wasn't unhappy there, it was much more about the education my husband and I felt she should be getting - she was reception and Y1 and didn't know any different. (2) We met a really great cross-section of other parents and made some good friends. (3) It made me very aware of what I value in a school and very adept at selecting the best school for her and our other children should we have to relocate again.

So, if you don't think you can go through with the whole upheaval of moving, if you don't feel you can/should pay for private, it's not all bad. Your son will probably only be at the not-very-good school for a year or two and no long term damage will be done.

Good luck.

I do have some experience of this - if you don't actually fill in the application forms honestly you will be found out. Other parents are usually the first to blow the whistle and then there's lots of trouble - not a good idea for a small child's introduction to school.

Having said that, I have taught at faith schools and if you are honest with the head you might be surprised at what can be done to help you and your child. Ask.

The open days are all on for the independent sector at the moment - you could look at a couple of preps if that is an option for you

Would def go private if you can afford it, and stay on waiting list for the nice school just in case a place comes up. If you only have the one child, maybe that makes it easier to contemplate going private, as you won't need to double or triple all the fees. Don't even consider the bad schools - he may be fine but it's not worth gambling with your child unless you really are pushed financially.

WWID? If I were in your situation, I'd choose private.

Check out the "rubbish school", it might not be so bad. You can always get involved in the PTA etc..

If it doesn´t grow on you, then reconsider. Private is a waste of money at this age IMO.