Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

oh I probably was wasn't I

73 replies

Whitby · 06/10/2010 19:54

Five years ago DP (now DH), went to work abroad. I was a single mum to DD. We went to spend the summer holidays with him (I'm a teacher). I was renting a little flat in a nice part of London. I was also a total total doormat.

Meanwhile a friend of mine (we were all mid twenties at this point), had moved to London to be with her boyfriend. He dumped her and she was staying with a series of friends on their sofas etc. Her kids lived with their dad in Luton and she needed somewhere to take them for her access weekends.

She asked if she could stay in my flat, paying me £500pm rent, while I was abroad, so her kids could have somewhere safe to be and she wouldn't have to keep imposing on friends.

I said yes with some misgivings. Part of the agreement was that my bedroom would be locked (she would have DD's double bedroom and the sofabed when her DCs were over).

When DD and I got back, the bin was full of maggots and there were carrier bags of chicken bones and other food rubbish piled up next to it, also maggoty. The flat was totally filthy with stamps (the rubber type), on the walls and woodwork. My bedroom door was still locked but all my clothes had been gone through a couple of dresses smelt very distinctly of her (she smoked). My dressing-gown cord had been used as wrist restraints when she'd had a guy over (I found out from him later, it was still tied to the bed). There were mice in the flat.

I'm a bit shit at confrontation but let my friend know that I was really miffed. She cried and apologised and begged me not to throw her out as she didn't have anywhere else to go. So she stayed in DD's room for another week, during which time we were broken into. The insurance wouldn't pay out as she'd left the window unlocked and they'd got in that way.

I got really upset with her and she went off on a huge rant, saying she'd lost her laptop too and who did I think I was charging her for staying somewhere when it wasn't costing me anything.

I asked her to leave, she left (but left all her stuff and all the kids' stuff behind, it took up most of DD's room). She'd left me two cheques for £500 - they both bounced. I contacted her to tell her this and she said she was sorry and she'd pay me back as soon as she could.

The next week I was putting DD's clothes back in her chest of drawers and found three pills (ecstasy), in a little plastic bag.

My friend went back to Luton, went on the dole and got a council flat. After repeated emails were ignored I told her I was moving and her stuff would be out on the street unless she came to collect it; she and her new boyfriend came to collect it and she said "I owe you almost a thousand pounds!", and said she'd pay me back £10 a week out of her benefits. She emailed me to ask for my bank details but nothing further transpired.

A couple of years ago she added me on facebook and I added her back out of curiosity really.

Last year she moved in with a guy and got a job with the local council.

Today she posted about getting a morgage and how she and this guy had a 30% deposit so why wasn't the rate better.

I messaged her saying "great to hear you're buying a place, does this mean you're going to pay me back?"

It was unreasonable, wasn't it.

She's replied now and I am too scared to open it!

OP posts:
Tokyotwist · 06/10/2010 20:30

Mark it up as a bad experience. She's a user and knows it. And unless you had something in writing you've no chance of getting anything from her.

It might make you feel better if you let any common friends know what she's done on the pretext of not wanting anyone else to be cheated, but tbh, it's probably best just to move on and have nothing more to do with her.

prozacfairy · 06/10/2010 20:30

She remembers alright she's just trying to dig herself out of a big fat hole. Nasty cow.

How about a facebook group? Do Not Let This Blookdsucker Live With You No Matter What. With a picture of her mug and her name above it? You'd be doing everyone a great public service.

AgentZigzag · 06/10/2010 20:33

At least you had a go at trying to appeal to her better side, you'd have regretted it if you hadn't, it's just a pity she hasn't got one.

It'd really hang over me if I owed someone cash.

booyhoo · 06/10/2010 20:34

ha, i bet she will be fuming all night about this. good on you for asking for what was owed. like the takeaway idea.

chiaroscuro · 06/10/2010 20:34

that's very naughty thstsnotmymonkey..... but I like it Grin

Whitby · 06/10/2010 20:36

Nah she's got the ear of our aquaintances in common - back when we were close there was an endless stream of stories about people letting her down and betraying her. I was really sympathetic and I bet they will be too!

There's about three or four actual friends of mine who are in touch with her; they might tell me what she's saying (I bet there's a big facebook post going up now), but I am not actually that bothered.

Which is a huge breakthrough for me, really. Let's look at the positive!

OP posts:
annec555 · 06/10/2010 20:36

Can you send her a message without being her Facebook friend? Some people have settings that allow you to do that.
If you can, I would be inclined to at least get in a last parting shot along the lines of "You know you are talking rubbish, I know you are talking rubbish. I know you are have no intention of paying me this money but I should just tell you that you are a [insert appropriate string of relevant epithets]. Have a nice life"

withorwithoutyou · 06/10/2010 20:37

Oh, and their 10k deposit is 30% of the cost of the flat? They are buying a flat for less than 40k? Where do they live? 1992?

Whitby · 06/10/2010 20:38

No, I would have done that but she's blocked me! DH can see her profile but I can't.

I could mail her through DH's account but I can't be bothered really. Any 'parting shot' would just be used as more evidence of my terrible attempts at extortion or whatever.

OP posts:
thatsnotmymonkey · 06/10/2010 20:39

withorwithoutyou I know, where the hell is she living? I want to move there. I have /320 equity and can buy a shed-just about.

TrillianAstra · 06/10/2010 20:40

Grin at 'where do they live, 1992?'

prozacfairy · 06/10/2010 20:42

Making mental note of the takeaway idea for the next person that REALLY pisses me off Grin

JaneyTroll · 06/10/2010 20:45

Hats off to you, Whitby. Firstly for being faintly saintly in helping out a 'friend', then for being able to rise above her batshit reality-distortion, and mostly for sharing this situation with the rest of us so we can go 'ooooh' at her evilness.

Whitby · 06/10/2010 20:48

Sharing it here has been very theraputic and helped me channel my outrage into finding it quite funny really. So thank YOU, mumsnet!

OP posts:
altinkum · 06/10/2010 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 06/10/2010 21:04

Awwww you're such a killjoy altinkum Grin

Why let the facts get in the way of a good story??

Whitby · 06/10/2010 21:06

aw altinkum, you're right, I know. I did say I thought I was being a bit unreasonable!

FWIW I told my landlord I had a friend staying while I was away and she was pleased the flat wouldn't be empty, I didn't say I was getting money though. What can I say, I was only 23 and a bit of a wanker.

OP posts:
DirtyMartini · 06/10/2010 21:19

OP, she is such a tosser, really she is. I really wish there was a way for you to ensure she sees this thread

CharlieBoo · 06/10/2010 21:42

Omg omg what a biatch!!!!

Yes you will torture yourself over what you should have said but forget her, cheeky cow!!

YANBU is a bloody understatement lol

altinkum · 06/10/2010 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Firawla · 06/10/2010 22:28

what a bitch and how dirty is she to fill the place with magots!?! that is crazy
personally upon coming home to the house in that state then finding the extasy i would have probably reported her to the police
i hope she gets her come uppance one of these days
op you sound like you are too nice for your own good though, but yadnbu @ all!

FunkyCherry · 07/10/2010 00:27

Oh go on, get your DH to message her a link to this thread....

lol at 10k being 30% deposit - she's really not good with figures/money is she?!!

Heracles · 07/10/2010 02:24

if you desperately need the money, go after her with lights flashing and guns blazing. What do you care if the parasite gtets offended - it's your damn money.

If you don't, defriend and avoid and never reply to messages. you'll feel like an angel and stress will be someone else's five letter word.

Fuck her; she's a leech. x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread