To want to move into the shed if BIL comes to stay?

[Hedgeblunder]

Gah- horrible feeling that BIL is going to be darkening my door soon , luckily he lives abroad so I don't have to speak to him much at all.
He's a prize twat and on his last visit his evilness included such classics as-

'all people born on council estates are scum and should be burnt'

'women who wear make up and perfume obviously have no personality or intelligence, that's why they do it'

putting his (used)dental floss in my half drunk cup of tea

flicking rubbish at me when dp leaves the room

letting himself into my bedroom naked

so, I seriously thinking of moving into the shed with the cat until he goes again

Sorry, and he's still allowed to stay at your house?

I'm thinking spa break for the duration.

And hes staying why?

Why is he saying?

I know! Trouble is that he never has any money to spend on a hotel and because he's a shit brother to dp (no Xmas presents, birthday card...) dp is always desperate to see him and make him happy, he's alot older than dp by about ten years.
If it will make dp happy then I will let him stay, I just can't be under the same roof as that man!

Shite sorry to drip feed(?)!

Completely unacceptable behaviour imo.

Your dp is being a mug.

i would not be happy for him to stay
does dp not realise the behaviour is totally unacceptable? why does dh still want him to stay

If your DP wants to see him, they can meet somewhere that isn't your house.

Agree with Geek - BIL should be the one in the shed if there's really no alternative!

Does you DP know what he's like? get him to stump-up for you to stay in a nice hotel while BIL is there.

Clearly he fancies you, hence the playground attention-seeking. He sounds like a nob. I know how hard it is to put your foot down when your husband gets so needy around awful relatives (I have shitey, ignorant in-laws) so I would do what others have suggested and take off for a few days; they'll soon get the message.

If you can't stand him, don't let him in your house.

I would see this as a perfect opportunity to go away yourself for a few days.

He is a bit of a mug with his brother-I know if I said he couldn't stay then he just wouldn't bother coming over, he has gone years without seeing dp before.
Thankfully my PIL are very understanding and MIL actually had a word with dp after the last visit and he was completely crushed.
I could possibley get away for part of the week- I'm applying for new jobs at the mo and my parents live quite far away so I couldn't commute back to my city if I needed to.

Why does your DP let him in the house if he treats you like that? Can't he stay with his parents?

No taintedpaint- it's a council estate, thank fuck he lives abroad most of the time hey?

He doesn't do any of the really bad stuff until DP is out of the room/at work, that's the worst thing

You are making a rod for your own back here!

This is YOUR home and YOU are dreading this creature pitching up in it.

If anyone treated me like this, and wanted to come back, any decent man would say Hell no! Not after the last time.

You are doing this for DP, would you ever ask DP to do something as big for you? would he actually do it?

I actually don't have an issue with BIL tbh, he is an arse, he just is. But DP really needed to state how you are to be treated and what you have described here is beyond reason to actually bodily hurl him from the window there and then. Your DP is the one letting you down if this prat comes back to stay.

It's not your problem if he can't afford hotels, he ought not to bite the hand that feeds him then....

Oh and you buggering off to a Spa is not the answer either, it enables the arse to carry on as before... DP needs to step up.

Littlemiss - you are right, luckily/unluckily we don't have dc yet so I do need to lay down the law now before baby comes along really.
DP would do the same for me, my sister is no picnic (maybe I'll set her up with BIL?!) but she can't be arsed with me anymore after I put my foot down with her.
I think I'm going to have to sit dp down and explain that it's one strike and he's out. Either he goes or I go type of thing.
Dp is just in total denial, BIL defends his actions by saying 'ohhh it was just a JOKE!'
even more infuriating!

If someone put their used floss in my tea I'd pour it in their lap and hope it was still hot. He does it when you're alone with him because he's a prick and likes making you uncomfortable!

WAIT! your BIL is single?

Shocker!

He won't stay there because it's a council estate? So he actually does have another option but chooses not to use it? And instead treats the people at the place he stays like crap?

Don't let him in your house! For the sake of your sanity as well as your own personal space!

Re your Sis, and the same issue with your BIL... exactly my point!

You put your foot down, she doesn't bother...

No, if you don't stand up for yourself, then tbh, you may as well nbook yourself in for a WELCOME Tattoo on your forehead, cos you will end up being a doormat

Just tell DP, that you have been giving this much thought and you really can't face it. That you understand he is his brother and all that, but his behaviour toward you, under your own roof is not acceptable and that you don't want him to stay under your roof until he has proved he can behave.

Remind him about your sister, that you were forced to stand up and say something to her and that you expect the same of him with his DB.

Turn on the water works if you think it'll swing it....