to have said this in the supermarket?

[NoseyNooNoo]

I took DD (4) and DS (2) to Waitrose today. DS has turned into a monster in the last month. For the first time today he had reins on to give me some control but he well and truly lost it in the store.

When we got to the check-out he was winding himself up into eventually the worst tantrum of his life. The couple in front of me had about 3 bags worth of groceries but took so long that the baskets only queue next to us went from having about 12 people in it to just 1 person queuing. The couple were chatting away s l o w l y to the cashier who they knew. They intially glared at me with each ratchet of DS's tantrum. Then I realised the glare had become rather smug. They then had everything bagged up but chatted some more before contemplating paying so I said to the cashier, 'Could we move things a long because I'm keen to get him (gesturing to DS) out of here'. The woman of the couple said to the man, 'I see the mother's as bad tempered as the boy'.

I rose above this comment but then our paths crossed on the way to the car park so I said to them, 'I heard what you said and it was equally rude'. They were really put out saying I shouldn't have joined their queue if I didn't want to wait. He continued to rant on but I walked away. However, DD says he gave me the finger when we were queuing to leave the car park.

I don't think this was my finest hour. I wish I could have kept my mouth closed. Was I unreasonable?

YANBU. I hate people taking ages in queues without a good reason. Actually quite a few times I let a person with a small child ahead of me because I know what a nightmare it can be trying to sort out the shopping and dealing with a tantruming toddler.

Some people have just no empathy whatsoever.

YANBU They were rude

I think I'd have lost my temper with them loooonnng before you did. I don't mind making conversation with cashiers and customers (I'm a till tart myself) but I won't stand there for ages keeping others waiting just to make someeone else feel special, no matter what side of the till I'm on.

You don't sound like you were bad tempered at all. And the bloke was the one ranting at you and the one who swore (if your DD is correct). You are the one who walked away.

So in short if you didn't shout and swear at them YADNBU.

You shouldn't have reopened it later, no. Better to retort at the time. But YWNBU to ask the cashier to hurry up.

you were not unreasonable, they sound like complete twunts IMO.

YANBU. The cashier was out of order as well, s/he was at work, not there to have social time with mates. Cashier should have hurried the friends up.

" saying I shouldn't have joined their queue if I didn't want to wait. "

Well which queue should you have joined What a tool! YANBU.

Was Asda shut?

YANBU at all. I think you behaved very well all things considered. They should have hurried up a bit out of consideration. Some people just forget how hard it is to be in a supermarket with a child having a tantrum.
Their ranting and swearing at you was way out of line.

Eh DinahRod?

A checkout is not a place to socialise so they were being the unreasonable ones.

And I would have hurried along if I'd had a harrassed Mum with a tantrumy toddler waiting behind.

Some people are just plain dumb and they either didn't have children or had rosy-tinted glasses on remembering their own.

I don't think you were unreasonable at all - I get irked when I'm shopping on my own and someone decides to have a big long chat with a cashier, and I'm long past the toddler years.

Yabu. You went to Waitrose then you were surprised by the smug attitudes you encountered. If you want a hardcore toddler tantrum to go unnoticed get thee to Asda. The cashier would sympathize and tell you that her eldest (of 6), Darren, went on like that too. she would probably have told any other customer complaining about the noise to 'fuck, the fuck off', on your behalf.

You are well within your rights to complain to the shop manager, as it was just as much the cashier's fault as it was these rude people - in fact, she was unprofessional, they were just inconsiderate.

Sorry, wasn't clear. Was reminded of an hilarious bad-tempered spat in Waitrose over aisle blocking - and "Asda shut?" was a dispragagingly snobby line used by one of the shoppers. Dh always it uses now when we occasionally go to Waitrose.

YANBU

I like the Waitrose/Asda comment.

I mentioned it was Waitrose to set the scene. Mine is always very quiet and me and the DCs bring the average age down considerably!

HalfTermHero- I don't know. I shop at Asda alot (and no I'm not ashamed ) and the staff there can be just as arsey with little children as those in Waitrose.

My DD locked herself in one the loos a couple of months back and the woman who came to get her out said to me in her best patronising tone:

"Best not to let little ones lock themselves in the cubicles." followed by huge fake smile.

Me: "Really? You think?"

It wasn't like I let my 3 year old lock herself in she slammed the door in my face and pushed the lock across.

Oh right I'm dead common DinahRod. Never set foot in a waitrose in my life!

Prozac, my comment was intended to induce a smile which is exactly what we all need in these grim Tory times. .

I know. This woman was some kind of supervisor. Give someone a bit of power and they dole out the parenting advice like they're supernanny

Omg I haaate it when the cashier and customers start a great lengthy pointless yackety yack especially if they know each other and the transaction was completed ages ago.

It's so rude to the person standing behind like a spare part.

I think it was possibly a 'finest hour' moment. You were very dignified under pressure re the tantrum, which is always terribly stressful, and because you had the misfortune to be queuing behind the Smuggingtons on their afternoon out. Not quite so civilised though were they? Giving the finger indeed. And in Waitrose too What a pair of twunts

yabu.

you should have asked the cashier if she wouldn't mind doing her job whilst she is being paid and save teh chit chat for her own time.
then spoken to her manager.

In fact if you still have your receipt i would ring Waitrose HQ and make a complaint.

Just being slightly in defence of the cashier, without knowing the full background story... sometimes it can be incredibly hard to move along the chatty customers without offending them.

It's a kind of 'rock and hard place' situation - do you offend the people queueing behind them by chatting and being friendly, or do you offend the chatty regular customers (who sometimes think that because you serve them, you are their friend and confidante) by hurrying them along.

Incidentally, YANBU to ask them to please hurry up, but YABU not to ask them to hold your tantrumming toddler while they finish their conversation!!!

HTH you do make me laugh

I'd have complained to the store manager too. But waitrose does attract lots of older/posh/immensely rude people or at least the one in Bath does. Staff lovely though just the customers who let it down

They were probably just intimidated by you, as you dared to address them directly (you mentioned that the woman talked about you at the till, but not to you).

Bet the old man was trying to be "hard" so you would go away!